Okay, so this is actually the chapter taken straight from The Warbler Drabbles. I got a lot of people saying they wanted a spin-off of it, so...voila! Anything the reader wants, the reader gets, no? I know you might be disappointed that this isn't something completely different, but I DO have the second chapter already typed up. So, if you're good and review telling me how much you love it, that can be up as soon as tomorrow afternoon. ;)
I'm still short on prank ideas, so if you have a really good prank that's fairly realistic, leave me a review or send me a PM telling me what your idea is! God knows how uncreative I am right now...I blame school, it's sapping me of all my creativity. Good thing it gets out in two days. I don't think I could last much longer.
By the way, foraworldundeserving, you practically BEGGED me to make this into a chaptered story, so I hope you're happy now! Rest assured, I will constantly be bugging you for ideas and beta-ing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Whoop-de-freaking-doo.
"WHO DID IT?" Kurt's scream of fury was probably heard halfway across Dalton. He stalked into the Warblers meeting, slamming the door behind him. Wes winced at the furious expression on Kurt's face. This could not be good.
"Who did it?" Kurt demanded again, crossing his arms and cocking one hip in a true diva-style. "I know it was one of you. Fess up!"
"Um, what exactly are we 'fessing up' to?" Cameron asked nervously.
Kurt was just opening his mouth to deliver a biting reply when the door burst open, revealing a ruffled, smug-looking Blaine.
"Sorry I'm late Wes, I was just – just…" he faltered as Kurt whipped around to face him, looking doubly furious at the appearance of his boyfriend.
"Go on, babe." Kurt said in a dangerously sweet voice. "Why are you late?"
Blaine looked surprised for a few seconds before his expression smoothed over, like he was carefully hiding his emotions. "No reason, baby, just overslept."
Kurt's eyes narrowed, and he took a threatening step towards Blaine. "Where. Is. It?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Blaine said smoothly, quirking an eyebrow.
"Don't give me that shit." Kurt snarled. "Now tell me where it is, or I swear I won't kiss you for a week."
Blaine blanched, his mouth falling open in shock. "It…it's in me and Thad's room, under my bed, but – "
His words were cut short as Kurt took off down the hall, calling over his shoulder, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, ANDERSON!"
As he streaked away, Wes turned to Blaine and said incredulously, "Blaine, what the hell did you do?"
To Wes's left, Thad busted up laughing, unable to keep a straight face any longer. The other Warblers watched in a mixture of alarm and disbelief as Thad lost it completely, clapping like a retarded seal, laughing so hard that no sound came out. Blaine cast his eyes down and avoided Wes's question, looking deeply ashamed of himself.
"B-Blaine ch-changed – " Thad stuttered out a few words before submitting to laughter again. He tried unsuccessfully to get over the insane giggles, taking a few deep breaths before saying, "H-he changed out Kurt's shampoo – w-with olive oil!"
Trent gasped dramatically. "Blaine! How could you?"
"But it's April Fool's Day!" Blaine complained. "You're supposed to pull pranks on your friends!"
"Dude, even I know better than to mess with anything related to or affiliated with Kurt's hair." Cameron interjected, rolling his eyes.
Blaine looked like he wanted to protest, but David spoke before he could get any coherent words out. "Look man, we understand that it was just a joke. But Kurt is seriously pissed off, and you know he's not going to let this go very easily. It doesn't matter how much the guy loves you, he probably loves his hair more. Kind of like you and Katy Perry. She'll always be your number one."
Ignoring the Katy Perry comment, Blaine groaned. "You're right, you're right. But what do I do?" he turned to look pleadingly at Wes and David.
"There's really nothing you can do." Wes said regretfully, exchanging glances with David. "Except watch your hobbit back…very carefully."
The next morning Blaine was woken abruptly at four in the morning by a very high-pitched, girly scream. His eyes snapped open and he half sat up, rubbing his eyes, his vision still blurry with sleep. Through his half-asleep haze, he saw Thad silhouetted in the light from the bathroom, hunkering down against the back wall, his eyes transfixed on something in the bathroom. Thad looked genuinely terrified, as if a mass murderer had just tried to assassinate him or something.
"Whatsit?" Blaine's words came out a lot more slurred than he'd been going for, and he silently cursed himself for sounding like a drunk.
Thad turned slowly, his eyes wild. "Blaine, go kill it!" he whimpered, hiding his face.
Blaine sighed. It was probably just a teeny little spider on the wall that had spooked Thad. Getting up, he told himself that at least he could go back to sleep for a couple more hours. However, when he entered the bathroom, there was no spider. In fact, there wasn't anything unusual about the bathroom, except –
"Thad, are you afraid of the My Little Pony?" Blaine asked incredulously, picking up the pink plastic horse.
"It's horrible!" Thad squeaked, shielding his face with his hands, "Get rid of it, Blaine!"
"You can't be serious." Blaine's sleepiness made him short-tempered. "Thad, it's made of plastic."
"Just get rid of it!" Thad said more forcefully.
Sighing in defeat, Blaine took the toy and carried it over to his bedside table. As he passed Thad, the older Warbler whimpered again and shied away, practically running to his bed and hiding under the sheets, shaking. Blaine deposited the pink horse inside of his drawer, feeling relieved that he could get back to sleep now. He had crawled back under the sheet, relaxing once again into the mattress, when his phone rang, loudly blaring Teenage Dream. With a long, drawn-out moan of anger and exasperation, Blaine snatched up his phone and glared at the offending text message, his fury turned to panic as he saw the name: Kurt.
Oh, boy. What if Thad had woken Kurt up and now Kurt was even more pissed at him and didn't ever want to see him again and he was texting to officially break them up and, oh god, that couldn't happen because Blaine loved Kurt like nothing else and this couldn't be happening and Blaine was going to die old and alone and depressed because he loved Kurt so much and nobody would ever, ever, ever, ever be the same as Kurt and –
Vigorously shaking himself, Blaine stopped his hyperactive, panicking brain and bravely opened the text in question.
Good morning, Sunshine! Having horse troubles? ;) –K
It took him about three reads to realize that Kurt hadn't broken up with him. It took him another three reads to fully understand the implication on the message. Kurt had set this up in revenge, knowing that Thad would freak out, and Blaine would be left to fix it. That was so, so…hot. Blaine smiled a little. Kurt was hot when he was scheming.
Blinking, Blaine realized just where his train of thought was going and quickly redirected himself. Maybe Kurt would go back to normal now, and everything would be fine. Hopefully. Because, being woken up at four by a screaming Thad was punishment enough, right?
…Right?
Instead of calling the Warblers meeting to order as usual, Wes sat in silence before the Warblers, glaring at them and slowly twirling his gavel in his hands. He made no move to speak or do anything besides silently glower at his classmates. A few people fidgeted uncomfortably under his unwavering stare. Behind his back, David and Thad were exchanging looks, having a silent conversation.
What's his problem? Why isn't he starting the meeting? Thad was definitely confused. And tired. Really, he didn't even want to be here. He hadn't gotten much sleep after last night's horse scare.
I don't know. David gave a half-shrug, looking fearful for his safety with the gavel of doom so close.
The silence in the room was absolute, and tense. And, well, confused. Mostly, no one had any idea what was going on. Wes let out an angry breath through his nose, setting down his gavel and leaning forward.
"Whoever did it has exactly one minute to confess." His voice was cold with anger. "You know who you are. And if no one comes forward…rest assured, I will find you. And you will regret ever messing with me."
"What happened, Wes?" Kurt asked sympathetically. Kurt knew that he was the only one Wes would never go into ninja-gavel-warrior mode on. All the Warblers knew that the wrath of Kurt was far worse than the wrath of Wes.
"Some imbecile wrote the word 'gavel' across my windshield in pink paint and taped a paper with the word 'douche' written on it over my license plate." Wes said coldly, not turning his stare from Nick and Jeff, whom he seemed to suspect.
"Don't look at us!" Jeff said indignantly. "We were in our dorm all night!"
"Yeah, I bet you were." Cameron said, snickering.
"Oh, very funny." Nick said bitingly. "You're just jealous because you can't get a girl to kiss you."
That helped break up the tension a bit, snorts of laughter breaking out over the room. Cameron turned his head away from Nick and crossed his arms, huffing like a little kid. Up at the head table, Wes did not look amused, although David and Thad were both holding back laughs on either side of him.
"I will find whoever did this." Wes promised menacingly, standing up. "And he will pay." He glared at them all for another few moments before saying, "Meeting dismissed."
As they left the room, Kurt turned to Blaine and said, "You know who did it, don't you?"
Blaine smiled mysteriously. "Maybe. Maybe not." He winked.
Kurt rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's antics. "Just don't let Wes hear you!" he cautioned jokingly. "You know, I've never seen Wes that mad. Not even when you stole his gavel and told him it was en route to China!"
"If there's one thing Wes loves more than his gavel, it's his car." Blaine replied. "And all the Warblers know that. Even so, I don't think Nelson should've done the 'douche' thing. That wasn't very mature. I would've left it at the gavel."
Kurt raised his eyebrows. It took Blaine all of two seconds to process what he'd just let slip. "Crap!" he said, frowning, "I just told you who it was. I have to be careful…next time I do that, slap me!"
"Don't be ridiculous." Kurt said. "I'm not going to slap you."
Blaine sat down on one of the couches in the living room, setting his bag on his lap. "Oh, I know you won't." he said. "But I hope Nelson knows this is going to get out eventually. I just hate to think what's going to happen."
"Me too." Kurt agreed with a shudder.
"You know, Wes is going to find out eventually." Cameron said, standing in the bathroom brushing his teeth.
Nelson, sitting with his laptop open on his bed, shrugged. "I guess. But what's he going to do? Threatening with solo loss doesn't really work anymore, considering Blaine and Kurt get all the solos in our formal performances."
"True…" Cameron didn't look reassured. "He could throw his gavel at you. And, as stupid as that sounds, the dang thing actually hurts when he throws it at your head."
"It was a simple prank." Nelson said calmly. "I'm sure Mr. Gavel-obsessed Asian will get over it eventually."
Cameron shook his head disbelievingly. He didn't have the energy to argue with his idiotic roommate. Earlier that week, Blaine and Thad had woken up the entire hall at like four in the morning, and he had been struggling to catch up on sleep ever since. Plus, he was slightly paranoid about the prank war that was steadily brewing within the Warblers. He had been watching himself all week to make sure he didn't piss off any of the council members. Settling down on his bed, he closed his eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep, thinking about how glad he was it was finally the weekend.
7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends!
"What the hell is that?" Cameron snapped, lack of sleep making him more grumpy than usual. His alarm clock told him it was two in the morning, and he was so tired that for a moment the room was spinning. When he stood up, dizziness engulfed him and he wobbled.
Across the room, Nelson sat up in his bed, listening to the music with apparent joy. "Oh my gosh, this is like my favorite song ever!" he squealed, apparently forgetting all about the lateness of the hour and springing up, singing along to the lyrics (which he knew by heart).
Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
"You have got to be kidding me." Cameron exclaimed disgustedly, watching in horror as his roommate – whom he had thought to be moderately sane until now – began dancing around the room, jamming out to the song. "This is the worst song I've ever heard in my entire life. What are you smoking?"
Nelson stopped and gaped at him, his mouth hanging open comically. "Rebecca Black is like my idol! She's so amazing! I love her!"
"Oh dear god. Why me?" Cameron muttered as the music took to the chorus.
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Without a second thought, Cameron fled from the room, anger fueling his aching body into action. The music's volume had barely decreased when he arrived at the end of the hall, where Wes and David roomed together. To his surprise, Thad, Kurt, Trent, and Blaine were already there, all looking exceptionally angry.
"Wes!" Cameron said furiously, pushing past Trent to stand in the doorway. "I get that you're upset about your car, and therefore wanted revenge. But I have not slept more than four hours every night this week and I need sleep! Now, you are going to take that wretched gavel of yours and go and smash whatever the hell is making that crappy excuse for music blast down the hall, or I'm going to wrestle your gavel away from you and take care of it myself!"
By the time he finished his rant, the others were staring at him as if he'd grown another head, and Wes looked truly scared of him.
"Okay, okay," Wes said quickly, picking up his gavel from under his pillow, "Keep your g-string on, Cam!"
With that, he rushed down the hallway towards Nelson and Cameron's room. Thad turned to Cameron, impressed.
"Dude," he said in slight awe, "I didn't know you had it in you. No one ever tells Wes what to do and gets away with it. Except David, but that's only because they're secretly gay lovers."
Cameron, surprised, said, "I – I guess it just came out. But hey, it worked, right?" He looked over at Klaine and Trent, raising an eyebrow. "So, what are we going to do to get The Gaveler back for this?"
And the Warblers prank war had officially begun.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN! Epic cliffhanger is epic! =D
So, for those of you who haven't read this before, what did you think? Love? Hate? Somehwere in the middle? Somewhere...only we know? ;) Let me know in a review!
Reviews are as awesome as Wavel (Wes/Gavel). Because Wavel is amazing.
~SquirrelzAttack