"It's ridiculous."
"Absurd really."
"Because we're friends and nothing more."
They looked at each other, then away.
"The only reason we're thinking about this stuff is because of what other people have made out of our closeness."
"That's not exactly true. I had fantasies, albeit one sided."
Her reluctant admission hit him like mac truck. Suspecting something was very different than having clear, blatant confirmation from the source. He looked at her sharply.
"What?" she didn't understand the surprise on his face. "You knew; it was obvious and as embarrassing at it was I'm at a place in my life where I can see that I needed to go through that. I am stronger because of my embarrassing teenage self."
"What I knew is that we- that I could talk to you, open and honestly about my thoughts and feelings that I could never share with anyone else. I liked it."
That's psychological intimacy. Best not to go down that train of thought.
"Me too."
"You were so young though. I began to worry that my self-destructive ways would rub off on you. You needed someone better than that- better than me."
"It was just a couple of years," she corrected him.
"A couple of years from 16-year-old you then and 21-year old you now are a world of difference. Think of you then and the knowledge that you've gained since."
"I see what you mean, and if it were anyone else I would agree, but you- well I trust you. You would never take advantage of me."
"I'm more sinner than saint."
"Doesn't matter though because I know for a fact that you never had any intention of acting on my one-sided crush. I told you, it's okay."
"As smart as you are, you don't know everything."
He stood and stretched from where they'd been sitting on the porch stairs. It was a cool, crisp autumn day and Daria, Jane, Trent, and Jesse were moving the last of the girl's things into their new dwelling. It had been Jesse that had found the place and suggested it to the girls, because it was cheaper than the rent that they were paying, bigger, and they would own it and could sell it when they wanted to move. It was a little further out, but it had a great view for Daria writing and Jane's inspiration with a storage building out back that Jane was going to use as her studio; as a trade Daria would get the largest of the two spare bedrooms for her writer's den/library. The girls had gone to see the place to be polite- Jesse had been so proud of himself- so they were more than pleasantly surprised that they both liked it so much.
"What did you mean by that?"
He looked down at her. She had grown into a beautiful young woman, just as he knew that she would.
"You know what I meant."
"I'd rather you tell me."
She thought that she'd figured this out and come to terms with it long ago and now he was saying-
"I'm a guy Daria. You put an attractive girl in front of me- I'll react."
She relaxed slightly.
"Oh, yeah because I was hot stuff with the glasses, no make-up, snarky remarks, attitude and uncompromising beliefs that I applied to others. Oh and let's not forget standing next to my 'perfect' sister just iced the cake so beautifully."
"Pleasing or appealing to the senses."
"What?"
"I said attractive- not teeny bopper hot. Appealing to look at; sexually alluring- that's you."
She now knew first-hand what the term 'gobsmacked' meant.
"You can't be that stunned," he declared. "I know that even if you might not have wanted it, you got the attention from some guys before you decimated them."
She'd never really thought about really. If she wasn't interested in someone, she just wasn't.
"Your silence speaks volumes," he had leaned in ever so slightly to speak in her ear in a soft teasing voice.
"See…...you do stuff like that and…" she hadn't turned to completely face him, but even the slight action of her barely turning her head in his direction and him leaning in towards her had brought them in more of an intimate proximity than either had anticipated.
"…..and what?"
"Don't tease. It's not funny to me."
Their voices were whispers. Upon seeing that there was something going, Jane had quickly pulled Jesse back so that they were out of sight, but not out of earshot when she had started to round the corner.
"I never took it as a joke…..."
They remained like that for a few moments more…their eyes never wavering from each other's.
"We talked about this and you said in no uncertain terms that you weren't interested in me like that."
"No."
She blinked, now breaking the trance.
"Yeah, you did."
He sighed. That night had been one filled with a lot of things.
"I told you what you needed to hear."
"I needed to hear the truth and alcohol makes you oh so honest."
"That was water in a vodka bottle meant to fool you."
"…. but, why?"
"You had just started seeing that Todd guy. Mystic Spiral had come up to play in that club, you know the one thirty minutes out from here?" she nodded and he continued. "We were crashing at your place of course and you had just come in from your date. You looked…happy."
He reflected for a few moments remembering how she had looked when she'd come in the apartment. She had this softness to her and not quite a smile nearing her mouth and her eyes were still clearly on the good night kiss that she'd received before that narrowed and focused on him watching her. Everything had changed then, her whole demeanor had shifted and though they fell into their normal routine, Trent had been saddened that the glimpse of what he perceived as 'happy Daria', had evaporated so quickly. So when Max had brought out the alcohol, he'd claimed an almost empty bottle of vodka, drained it and refilled it with water. He wasn't sure how he would do it, but he was going to have to steer the conversation some kind of way so that she wouldn't backslide into thinking about him as anything other than a friend because of his visit. The opportunity had presented itself though when after she'd had a couple of drinks and they had found themselves sitting outside on the stoop alone, she had turned to him and just asked whether or not he would have pursued anything with her if she had made it known and he had said that while he enjoyed their friendship, he could not think of her as anything else. His heart had lurched at the look on her face and he had thrown an arm around her and made lame as jokes about himself to deflect from the pain that they were both feeling.
"…and now?"
He shrugged.
"What you said had hurt…"
"I know."
"You lied to me."
"I know."
"I thought we didn't lie to each other."
"Never did til then…and haven't since…."
"So you thought that now was as good a time as any to come clean about that?"
"The opportunity presented itself. You're older, wiser and neither of us are seeing anyone- unless you are and Janey didn't say anything."
"…no, I'm not, but-"
"What if our friendship doesn't survive the relationship?"
They looked at each other with an openness for reasons that both found new and refreshing.
"We won't let that happen."
"You seem to have all the answers."
"Except the one that I need from you."
"Then yes Trent. Let's give us a try."
They smiled at each other and both leaned in to have what would be the first of many kisses to be had.
"Ca-caw-" Jane's imitation of an talking bird broke in, "his brilliant sister and Jesse would really like to go inside, but they don't want to ruin the moment, ca-caw!"
Trent and Daria both burst out laughing and motioned for them to come on up so that they could all continue. A new place, a new relationship and the brightest future that any of them could imagine ahead of them. Life was feeling just about perfect for them.