A/N: I'm sorry for not updating more often and putting up more stories but I'm not getting much reviewing. Which kind of pisses me off, especially if I go out of my way to make a story someone requested. I've been kind of busy reading Gone With The Wind too. It sucks. Anyways this is just a one-shot because I am bored and no seems to put up a lot of KakuHi stories these days.
Warning: Adult language, cussing, arguing, mature content, cheesy pick up lines, SasoDei, Yaoi, and of course KakuHi.
Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, not me.
Smutty Sexy Smoking?
"Hey Kakuzu, what the hell is smex," Hidan asked out of …. well no where.
Kakuzu was counting his money on his desk, in his room that was in the boring Akatsuki layer. Hidan was sitting on his bed, in his shared room with Kakuzu in the very quite Akatsuki layer. Kakuzu sighed and turned his chair around and faced Hidan, who was occupying the other side of the room.
"Why are you asking," Kakuzu said in a mono-tone.
"Cause I'm bored. Now answer my question, you old heathen bastard," Hidan drawled out with no excitement in his voice.
"I don't know. Why don't you ask an expert on teen slang or an expert on the 2000's language," Kakuzu replied, not really wanting to talk about Hidan's random question.
"I think it's smut and sex put together, cause you know smex means like sex, so it's smut sex," Hidan said happily, jumping up from his bed.
"That would make no sense, because what about smexy? Smexy is calling someone or something extremely hot. I do not believe smutty sexy would fall under that category. In fact it makes no sense at all," Kakuzu responded, making Hidan frown deeply.
"What about if it means like smoking sexy, that would make sense," Hidan said, his face lighting brightly again.
"Ok but then what about smex? It can't mean smoke sex, that's ridiculous," Kakuzu said, making Hidan once more, disappointed.
"Fine then it means smut sex," Hidan growled.
"But then-," Kakuzu started but was cut off.
"No but then! No then at all! No and then either! If you don't like my theories then what do you think smex and smexy means, huh? What the fuck do you think? You are a good-for-nothing, stingy bastard, cock-sucking, panty stalker," Hidan yelled at Kakuzu, fuming.
"There is no reason to yell Hidan. Also what the hell was up with the Dude Where's My Car reverence? I am good for counting money and what was the panty stalker crap about," Kakuzu said calmly, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"I don't know about the reference thing, it was all I could think of. By the way, I have seen you going through my underwear drawer and steal them. I'm always watching you mister," Hidan growled.
"Ok then. You're a little weird," Kakuzu replied, he was a little of guard about Hidan comment about always watching him. Kakuzu felt like he was the one being stalked.
"So fine, what do you think smex and smexy means," Hidan asked in mocking tone.
"Let's just say smex means smut sex and smexy means smoking sexy. Does that make you happy," Kakuzu said so unamused.
"Yes, yes it does," Hidan said joyfully.
Kakuzu turned his chair back around and started to count his dearest money again. Hidan conjured an idea and smiled wickedly. Hidan had a want. Hidan came up behind Kakuzu and flung his arms around his partners shoulders and around his neck. Hidan put his head on top of the others which made Kakuzu look up at the younger boy.
"Only the smexy can have smex," Hidan said playfully and pulled Kakuzu's mask down, kissing him roughly, "and you my dearest are very smexy."
Kakuzu grinned widely before pushing Hidan on to the bed. He climbed a top the jashinist and kissed him with as much passion as he could conquer.
"That was the cheesiest line I have ever heard Hidan but lucky for you, you always get what you want," Kakuzu said playfully, batting at Hidan's ears.
Hidan and Kakuzu had a night that would leave Hidan not able to walk for days. After all Hidan always got what he wanted.
-In Deidara's and Sasori's room-
"I can't believe Hidan can just feed a horrid line to Kakuzu and Kakuzu will just fuck him into the ground, un. That bitch always gets what he wants, un," Deidara complained loudly to his Danna.
Sasori smirked, at the thought that he was going to do the same but yet still get to be Seme.
"Hey Deidara," Sasori whispered to Deidara.
"What, un," Deidara responded, turning to face the puppet master with a pout on his face.
Sasori kissed his little "DeiDei," and said seductively, "Want to make art an eternal bang?"
Deidara smirked at this and allowed himself to be pushed on top of the bed by his master.
Hidan and Deidara the next day were to have a sit-on-a-pillow party with just the two of them. Oh the things you could get with simple conversation and cheesy lines.
After Note: That was really bad, just like my mood. Sorry for the movie reference, but it's a hilarious movie.
Please review.
*Sits in emo corner an holds up a sign* Pretty please?