Bill's Virus

by hockeygirlmaddy

Another "script" I created for a possible upcoming CH sketch. All there is toy say about it is that it's about Bill Gates having a virus, but no ordinary virus, something similar to a computer virus!

We start the sketch in the Gates' household. Bill is laying upon his luxurious leather loveseat, but this is no ordinary day. Bill is seen on the loveseat wrapped in a fluffy throw, the table next to him covered with drinking cups, medicine bottles, measuring cups, and remotes (if any) for the TV/entertainment station, not to mention tissue boxes and balled-up, used tissues. Melinda passes the sick Gates, then she kneels up to his lain body.

Melinda: "Bill, honey, I feel as if there's something wrong with you. You've been abandoning your family, not to mention your own wife, for the past day-and-a-half."

Bill (sarcastically): "Wow, big deal, a whole day-and-a-half!"

Melinda: "Well?"

Bill: "Melinda, I have a virus."

Melinda then notices the items on the table. Several antivirus software CDs and flash drives are buried with tissues.

Melinda: "Well, would this work?"

She grabbed a gray object amidst the mess.

Bill: "No, it's expired."

We cut to Melinda holding what turns out to be a gray floppy disk. She then picks the smallest of them, a black flash drive.

Melinda: "Aha! Here you go!"

She hands the flash drive to Bill, him instantly popping it in his mouth.

Bill: "Drink, please."

Melinda hands him the blue cup of water.

Bill: "Thanks."

Melinda: "You're welcome." She says as she looks off to the side, for 5 seconds. Back to Bill, taking his last gulp of water:

Bill: "Ah, better!"

Melinda: "As in… feeling better? Already?"

Bill: Turns over and moans in pain, clenching his gut. An audible gurgle-groan is heard.

"I, feel, like-"

Melinda: "Oh no, you don't!"

Bill: "Like.." He turns to face her, mouth aimed at the floor.

"*Hack!* *Retch*!"

Melinda (eyes closed, cringing in disgust): "Ohh, Bill! Disgusting! Do you know how much that carpet—huh?" (opens eyes)

She looks down to the floor, not to find vomit there, but…ads! You know, those unnecessary pop-up ads that plague your computer when it has a virus. Stuff like:

"Click here for…!"

"FREE …! Just click!"

Etc, etc.

Melinda: "Oh."

Bill: "It's not as bad as earlier." He says, looking down at his "mess".

"Used to be dating/porn ads."

He reached for a tissue, blowing into it what looks like something…blue. He jolts in fright.

Melinda: "W-what?"

Bill: "Speak of the devil." He shows his used tissue, the blue-ness morphing into yep, you guessed it, a BSOD (Blue Screen of Death).