I know you guys are probably waiting for another installment of the Percabeth, but I'm a bit of a *cough* writer's block *cough*, so I need to think it through. Plus, it adds on top of my pile of projects and homework before winter break, so you might have to wait.

On another note, many of my fics are really depressing, so here's a crack! to cheer you guys up. Short and stupid(ly weird). I'm trying a different writing style, so don't judge if it sounds different. :))

Disclaimer: If I did own Fairy Tail, I would bungee into Fairy Tail and steal Natsu and Gray.

Natsu was in a dilemma.

He had realized this when he walked down the hall and felt his spine snap up. There was something wrong, he noted, and he knew why.

The banner was up. Not a banner, the banner, which stated the most obvious, most dangerous, most anti-Natsu taboo ever to be created.

Homecoming.

Natsu couldn't really figure out what was wrong. His friends were debating on "anti-homecoming," a special get-together arranged by Sting Eucliffe. Of course, he thought bitterly, Sting was far too stupid to think of a way to ask a girl to a dance.

He skimmed the date and time on the poster, and shoving his nose into the bottom right hand corner, he detected a name.

And again, not any name, but the name.

The most pro-Natsu taboo ever to be created.

Lucy Heartfilia.

The name sent a jolt down his back, and he staggered away from the poster. It was blatantly obvious she was the one who designed the banner.

Natsu Dragneel had a mission. A seven day mission that he had to complete.

Screw Sting Eucliffe, hell, maybe he'll go to homecoming.

So he wheeled on his toe and sped toward locker three-forty-seven.

Why three-forty-seven?

Because that was Gajeel Redfox's locker, and Gajeel Redfox knew the knack of picking up girls.

Natsu still wondered why he had a girlfriend, but that was beside the point.

He had a girlfriend, which Natsu so obviously lacked.

Gajeel Redfox was a tall guy, which he was always aware of. Five foot ten since the seventh grade. Towered above most of the male population, much more the female population. Piercings adorned his face, so many that Natsu wondered if his parents let him become a voodoo doll. His hair was long, longer than most girls, and gelled back so that the difference between a heavy metal rocker and that kid in high school was almost microscopic.

Which made Natsu wonder, yet again, why he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend the size of the bush he tripped over the other day.

So Natsu made his way over the gaggle of freshmen towards Gajeel's locker, three-forty-seven, and swiped away a bunch of about seven kids. He stood in front of it, which made the guy hesitate to slam it like he usually did.

"Pinky," Gajeel grunted, rudely addressing Natsu by his hair color and not his name. "If it's about the test, don't ask me, 'cus there's nothing I can help you with." He shoved his hair back. "And I do not owe you five dollars."

"It's not about that, and yes, you do," Natsu retorted. "Unlike the other times, this is important!"

Gajeel laughed haughtily, and Natsu creased his brow.

"And when has anything you said been important?"

"Now," Natsu said stubbornly. "Now listen, Gajeel, this is about homecoming, so you better help me here-"

At this, Gajeel let out a very frightening bellow of laughter, which led about five girls to scuttle away in fear.

"Homecoming?" he repeated, wiping his eyes on his arm. "When have you wanted to go to homecoming, huh? Thought you were goin' with Eucliffe and the others."

Natsu jutted his lip out and went on his toes so that he could at least look Gajeel in the face. "There's a girl," he said lamely. "Duh."

Gajeel raised an eyebrow. "A girl."

"Yes, a girl."

"Natsu Dragneel, and a girl."

"Yes," Natsu retorted, now annoyed. "See, I can like girls too. Besides, it's not that much of a surprise, is it? Not after you, anyways."

"You mean the shrimp?"

Natsu looked at him oddly. "I have never heard any guy call his girlfriend a shrimp before, you know that."

"Except me."

"Yeah, except you. But you're weird and stupid so I guess that's why."

"If I'm weird and stupid, then why did you ask me for help?"

Natsu sucked in a breath in impatience. "Drop it.

Gajeel rubbed his chin with his hand. "There's this one thing I've got here. It will guarantee any girl to fall for you."

Natsu perked up. "What is it?" He itched to see over Gajeel's humongous shoulder. "Get out of the way, you fatty-"

"This." He held up two slips of paper. "This will guarantee you any girl."

Natsu scrutinized it carefully. "What is it-" He started to unfold the paper.

Gajeel grabbed his arm angrily. "Don't open it," he hissed. "Use it only when you're really desperate."

"Then what's the point?" Natsu whined.

"Patience," Gajeel grunted. "Ain't nothing better than good ol' patience in your hands, you know."

"That's stupid!" Natsu complained. "Just like you!"

"Shut your hole! You want to get a date, or not?" Gajeel put his huge hands on his hips. "You know, they say that stupid never lie."

Natsu looked at him oddly. "Are you sure? Or are you just messing with me right now?"

Gajeel lifted his hands in front of his face. "Look. Me. You. I'm taken. You're single. There. Is that enough for you now?"

"Gajeel Redfox, you-" he sighed. "Okay. Fine. I'll try it. If it doesn't work, I am going to murder you. Three o' clock sharp. Locker three-forty-seven. Okay? It's a deal then," he said automatically. "If you're lying, your head's ending up on a stick that's not your neck."

Gajeel smirked, a creepy-looking thing to Natsu, with one side of the mouth upturned, showing one particularly sharp canine. "Deal, Dragneel."

For the first time, Natsu was not happy for the bell that marked the end of the day.

He walked to the H section of the lockers, and loitered in front of Lucy's awkwardly. The two papers in his pocket were getting moist from his sweat.

Chill, he told himself furiously. You got this far, haven't you? Go for it!

Not long later, a blonde head bobbed through the crowd. A set of brown eyes stared through the mass of bodies like a laser.

"Lucy…?" he muttered quietly.

Among the other girls in the hall, she shone like a beacon. For one thing, she was the only girl without a powdered face.

Her lips were obviously dry, and her eyes sunk into her face like normal eyes, not like (what Natsu called them) ghoul eyes. She wore jeans, ripped, old jeans and a pair of high tops that looked like they came from the bottom of a dog's pen.

And oh dang, Natsu really liked her.

"Are you going to move?" she asked, politely, but impatiently. "This is my locker, you see. Natsu Dragneel."

He gulped slightly.

"Ah, no, Lucy," he started. Good. Playing it cool. "You see, there's something I wanna ask you-"

She laughed a little, which he noticeably relaxed at. "Homework, is it. I can have you copy it down, but this is the last time, okay?" Her eyes glinted furiously. "Okay?"

She was nice and scary. That was cool, he guessed.

"Actually, no," Natsu flicked the scarf over his shoulder. "It's…" He surveyed the area. "Actually, how about alone?"

He gripped Lucy's wrist, and she flailed wildly, feet grating against the tile floors. "Hey, what are you doing? NATSU DRAGNEEL, I DEMAND YOU TO LET GO OF ME NOW!" She brushed her lap. "Jeez, get the message?" Lucy sighed. "Okay, now what? We're alone. In the janitor's closet."

Natsu fidgeted in discomfort. "Yeah, so?" he said audaciously, in which Lucy narrowed her eyes at. She still looked pretty with her eyes narrowed, he thought offhandedly.

Seeing her look at him so impatiently caught him off guard. He started to sweat.

If he could, Natsu would have pretty well breathed out fire at that point.

Discarding his (not so large) ego, he shoved his hand into his pocket and fished out the two strips of paper that Gajeel had given to him. Gritting his teeth, and trying to ignore Lucy's curious (and pissed) face, he slowly unfolded them.

That Gajeel.

"You bastard, Gajeel," he growled under his breath. "I knew you were screwing with me."

"You know, I really don't have all day," Lucy interrupted loudly.

Natsu bit his tongue and shoved the papers back into his pocket. He had to try, though. No matter what.

He chose the better of the two, although it wasn't better by much.

"Did you just fart?" he said weakly. "Because you blew me away."

There was an awkward silence in which Natsu felt as if a barrage of knives had embedded itself into his back.

Lucy looked as if she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Homecoming?" he asked weakly.

Lucy's eyes twitched.

The closet seemed a lot stuffier now.

"Natsu Dragneel," she started, now shaking her head, and Natsu backed up into a mop. "You are by far the most-" She kicked a bucket, "stupid," she kicked the wall, "naive," she kicked the broom which fell with a thump, "and crazy person I've ever met!" This time, she used the mop and hit him on the side.

"But…"

"Yeah?" Natsu held his side and looked at her in anticipation.

Lucy's face relaxed. "I can't say no to such a nuthead." She blushed. "See you...Natsu." She shyly edged out of the closet and darted away.

Said person sank to the ground with a sound like a rhino. "I did it…" he said to himself in awe. "I did it, damn it!" His voice shuddered with happiness. "Guess that guy ain't such a noob after all."

Somewhere in the distance, Gajeel sneezed.