Mission: Seduce Hatake Kakashi, a naruto fanfic

Summary: It's Kakashi's birthday, and Iruka wants to give him the best present he can. In honor of that commitment, the Hokage orders him to fulfill his promise to the scarecrow, take the day off, and have a wild night. Rated M for really graphic yaoi, at long last! Haha.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did, there would probably be a lot of angry mail concerning character deaths. No, no, just kidding

Iruka rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a groan. "Dammit, it's too early..." He got back up on the bed and rubbed his eyes. He leaned back and felt Kakashi's side of the bed…which was cold. No surprise there.

He must have left a couple of hours ago...probably to the memorial stone, as his chronic tardiness isn't prone to change anytime soon... He turned and had a double take at the calendar. "Shit! September 15th already!?" He got up and checked his notebook, to make sure Kakashi wasn't pulling another prank again. It had happened once before, and Konoha didn't forget it for a couple of months afterwards. "Yep, it's definitely the 15th." Iruka ran a hand through his hair and got up. "What can I get Kakashi-kun for his birthday..." he thought aloud as he got dressed. He yelped at the sight of his clock; he was undoubtedly going to be late at this point. He barely had time to pull on his Chuunin vest as he ran out the door; attempting to be wary of the various hedges and railings on the landscape.

Kakashi appeared along with a puff of smoke in the clearing Team 7 always trained in, quite tardy, as always. "YOU'RE LATE!!" Naruto and Sakura screamed, while Sasuke looked on, apparently as bored as ever. "Aah, I was lost on the road-" Naruto pointed accusingly at his late sensei and interrupted, "The road of life, like always; we know!! Could you be on time for ONCE, Kakashi-sensei?" The aforementioned sensei rolled his eyes. "I do the best I can. Anyway, are we going to train or are you going to sit there and be argumentative all day?"

The Academy teacher burst into the Hokage's office later on, looking rather flustered. "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama, I got off late this morning..." he gasped out. The Hokage smiled a little. "Iruka, calm down, I'm not angry." He leaned on the nearest chair to catch his breath. Tsunade folded her hands and rested her chin on them. "Iruka, isn't today Kakashi's birthday?" Iruka nodded. "Yeah, thus the reason I was late..." He smiled slightly. She nodded.

"Okay, well...you have permission to take today off, for your perverted boyfriend's sake."

He immediately looked up. "What?"

She laughed. "It's an order, Iruka. Do something nice for him, ok? Make it a birthday he'll never forget." Iruka looked particularly amused at this point. "Well…as much as I appreciate it…is it even legal to order me to do something like that?"

Tsunade looked up, as if in deep thought. "Just think of it as...Mission: Seduce Hatake Kakashi."

"Kakashi-sensei, do you do anything besides read that perverted book all day and throw out condescending comments about how inexperienced we are??" Sakura screeched, as she threw several shuriken at the jounin. He caught them rather effortlessly around his fingers, and looked up from the mentioned book. "No, I also eat, sleep...and fish for dolphins." The last word was emphasized with a smirk, as he caught a kunai from behind. Sasuke glared from a tree branch behind Kakashi and cursed vehemently. "Try harder, I feel as if I'm in combat with sacks of potatoes." He picked up a shuriken (thought to be dropped) off the ground in front of him; and at the same time Sakura and Sasuke both fell silent, with victorious smirks on their faces. Kakashi looked up and raised his eyebrow at their expressions. "What are you two suddenly so th-" He broke off and his eyes widened as the rock disappeared in a puff of smoke and was replaced with a grinning Naruto...or a grinning Naruto's arm, to be precise.

Iruka walked into the store with an expression of pure fury upon his face. Genma and Raidou had tricked him into going to the store for them. He stomped around the store in a cloud of rage, practically breaking the shelves he got items off of. "Damn Genma...always being a condescending bastard...Raidou just agrees with every fucking statement..." he growled, earning several confused and shocked looks from the on goers. He passed the novel section in his angry cloud, then paused as the angry look drifted off his face, and he dropped the items he had previously been holding. He backed up a few steps to the main rack, and noticed several Icha Icha art books, fresh off the press...or so the sign read. Iruka immediately picked one up and began flipping through the pages, looking for ideas to use for Kakashi's present.

"Can I help you?"

Iruka whirled around to come face-to-face with a clerk, plastered with a fake smile. "Uh, yeah, have any ideas for birthday presents to one of the biggest perverts in Konoha?" The clerk laughed at this statement. "Try the shop next door, they have all sorts of...toys for that occasion." Iruka ran out the door, yelling something that sounded like "thank you" to the clerk, and something along the lines of "Gomen, gomen!" to the customers left in the dust. He went in the shop next door and looked at the clock. "Great, I have an hour before Kakashi gets home..." The chuunin timidly browsed the aisles, and got the items he felt Kakashi would practically squeal in pleasure at sight. Luckily, the cashier didn't recognize him. "Special occasion?" the clerk said, smiling a little.

"Uhh...you could say that!" Iruka said nervously. The cashier handed him the bag with a smirk. "Have fun." Iruka smiled and waved. "Thanks."

Kakashi ran in the door and slammed it shut, breathing heavily. Iruka turned around to see Kakashi leaning against the door, covering his good eye. "Kakashi, are you ok?" Iruka inquired, a hint of worry in his voice. Kakashi looked up. "Those...brats..." he hissed. He moved his hand to reveal a black eye. Iruka ran over to the silver-haired jounin and started fussing over the minor injury. "Are you ok? Who did this to you? I swear, when I find the little monster who did this..." He trailed off as Kakashi laughed. "Calm down, Iruka-sensei, I'm fine." Iruka smiled. "Not on your birthday, I won't calm down!" The scarecrow's face...er, face behind his mask immediately brightened. "You remembered!" He flung himself on the younger man, practically choking him with previously neglected affection. Iruka laughed and hugged back. "Of course I did, how could I forget..."

Kakashi sat on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. "Should we go to the ramen bar? I have a free ramen pass!" Iruka shook his head. "No, no, I'm cooking for you! All you have to do today is relax, ok?" His inamorato beamed. "Ok, if you say so..." Iruka ran to their bedroom. "Just give me a minute!" he yelled from the room. He retreated slowly a few minutes later in nothing but a rather small apron, making an attempt to hide his blush but failing miserably.

Kakashi turned around at the click of the door closing and his mouth fell agape. "I can tell, this is going to be a very interesting night;" he said with an amused grin. Iruka rolled his eyes in a teasing manner as he went to the kitchen. "Ok, ok my perverted scarecrow; what do you want to eat?" Kakashi pondered the question for a while. "Um...whatever you're best at making!" Iruka looked down and blushed again. "Kakashi-kun, I doubt you'll want to eat it. It's nothing special." Kakashi smiled warmly at his dolphin. "Iruka, anything you make is okay with me, don't worry!"

They sat down later to a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

"Okay, I have to admit, I didn't see that coming."

Iruka looked up sheepishly. "Uh, yeah, the best thing I make (in others' confirmation) is boxed macaroni and cheese..." Kakashi put his hands up in defense. "But it's the best I've ever had!" He grinned. "And plus, at least it wasn't something like cup ramen." The chuunin smiled. "Nope, then I'd feel like Naruto." Iruka got up and ran over behind the counter. "Wait, wait, there's more!" Kakashi looked up. "More boxed pasta?" Iruka rolled his eyes. "No. Close your eyes." The older man shut his eyes to feel his mask ripped off, and something warm and liquid-like dumped on his head. He opened his eyes to see chocolate trickling down the side of his face, and Iruka with a devilish grin upon his face.

"What was that for??" Kakashi yelped.

Iruka held up the bowl of chocolate and a spray bottle of whipped cream. "This is next, Kakashi-kun..." He raised the bottle menacingly. The copy-nin's eyes widened and he bolted into the next room. Iruka followed him, flashing a devious grin. He jumped on Kakashi's back and the man that was being attacked fell on the bed, screaming. "Iruka-kun, what the hell??" His screaming broke off to laughing as the younger man raised the bottle with a glint in his eyes. "Any last words before you're covered in whipped cream?" Kakashi tapped his chin in mock thought for a minute. "Hmm…yes, actually." Iruka blinked. "Being?" Kakashi's eyes curved up. "Don't lower your guard, Iruka-kun!" The jounin flipped over and grabbed the bottle. Iruka stuck his tongue out at Kakashi, only to have it captured in the other man's mouth. Iruka relaxed at this point, and Kakashi took the moment to spray whipped cream all over the man's face. "Hey, no fair; I was supposed to do that to you!!" Iruka yelped. Kakashi grinned and began licking the whipped cream off. "Too bad. You provoked it."

After Kakashi was done with the whipped cream, he got off Iruka and trotted to the bathroom. "Where are you going?" Iruka called. "You'll see.." Kakashi said happily from the next room. Iruka rolled his eyes and pulled his shirt off.

"Wow, Iruka-kun. I'm quite impressed. First you dumped chocolate on my head and now you're strip-teasing?"

Iruka looked up to see Kakashi in the doorway, grinning like a Cheshire cat. He rolled his eyes. "Well I figured you wouldn't catch me in the act. And plus, you couldn't-" He looked up to see Kakashi was gone, but felt a sudden presence behind him. The older man chuckled and wrapped his arms around Iruka's waist. At obtaining the sudden affection, the man smiled and leaned back into Kakashi's touch. He turned his head slightly to look at his

"So, tonight might turn out even better than I'd hoped!"

Kakashi grinned, brushing his lips against his boyfriend's ear.

"That goes for the both of us, lover boy."

With that statement, he thrust his hand into Iruka's pants (and grabbed a place only he would be allowed to go) with a smirk, and earned a delighted shriek from his latest victim.

He smiled. "Music to my ears."

Iruka turned over and rested his head on Kakashi's chest, breathing in gasps, the other's breath coming in the same irrepressible pants. Iruka smiled a little and looked at Kakashi. "So, did you like your present?" Kakashi nodded and placed a chaste kiss to Iruka's temple. "Best birthday ever."'

fin.

A/N: ...Wow. That's all I can say.

I'm thinking about putting another chapter up, and/or the full version. Yes, that means über-graphic instead of being cut off. Haha. We're going to see how THAT one works out, though. X-X