Why did he do it?
I want my husband to be happy. I want the world for my husband. And I will find a way to give it to him.
But this I can't handle. How could he? Why did he do it?
I was sitting at home, by my computer and was writting a e-mail to Alice. I had a lot to write and plenty of time, so I wrote it in human speed. I did that sometimes, just so that I can keep a little bit of humanity.
I was writing about a pair or shoes that I found last week, that I absolutly adore. They will of course be worn out in less then a week, since I run all the time.
Running really fast is not good for shoes.
I had come as far as to telling Alice where I had found the shoes, when Emmett came home. I looked at the clock. He was about 20 minutes to early. I started tapping twice the speed that I started with, to be done faster so that I could spend time with Emmett.
Emmett had taken a fulltime job as a assistant to a soccer-trainer for Forks middle school student. Emmett was a favorite among the kids, it was a joy to see. He would pick them up and spinning around, wich would make them laugh. They never seamed to realise that Emmett was colder then other adults.
I had only come to see Emmett work twice. The pain was to big when I whould see Them. The ones I envied wholeheartedly. The parents.
They would look at me and wonder why I was watching their kids practise. I would usually answer the truth, that I was watching my boyfriend work. Sometimes I would add that we were going to go home to my place to have sex when Emmett was off work, just to see what their reaktion would be. They would get huge eyes and then look around to make sure the kids hadn't hear me. It seamed like most moms never get laid. Poor them.
I would simply do it to see them look at my monkey-man and imagine how he would be in bed. And then have them realise that he belonged to me. But I mainly did it to get some of my jealousy out. If I made them feel bad, I would feel slightly better. Emmett usually looked at me and shook his head in disappointment.
Thats when I would feel bad. It wasn't the parents fault that they had everything I wanted, and took it for granted. At least thats what I tell myself. I usually lie to myself, just to feel better.
I heared Emmett run up the stairs to our room and slam the door shut. I was instantly alarmed. Something must be wrong. Emmett allways come and tell me he loves me and kiss me when he comes home. I quickly finished my e-mail to Alice and pressed send before I logged out.
I listened after Emmett. I heared him pace in our room, murmbling to himself:
-"Why did I do it? Why, why? I'm such a moron, Rose is gonna hate me. Why, why on earth did I do it?"
I tensed, before I sprang out of the chair wich I was sitting on. I'll have to apologise to Esme for breaking it later tonight!" I thought as I run up the stairs. My thoughts then returned to Emmett. "What is wrong? Have something happend at work? That must be it." I opened the bedroom door. Emmett was now sitting on our bed with closed eyes and hitting himself in the head with his palm. I walked up to him and took his hands in mine.
-"Stop it." I said firmly. He looked at me with surprice first, but then his expression turned to the one of guilt and regret. I winced. I could barely take it. "What happend?" I asked softly. Emmett looked away. He looked so ashamed, I never wanted him to look like that. "What happend?" I asked again. I was slightly panicking. Why won't he tell me? I thought thru all the explanations I could think of. Had he hurt one of the kids? If he had, why would he think that I would hate him? It didn't make sense, but it was the only explanation I could think of: "Sweety, if you hurt one of the kids, it's ok, I won't be mad. I just..." I was stopped by Emmett putting a hand infront of my mouth. I kissed it. He looked even more in pain then before. I lifted my now free hand and stroke his cheek. "Please tell me" I begged. "Please Emmett darling, just tell me." I needed to know.
Emmett mumbled something I couldn't make out, his voice just barely above mimicking.
-"Honey, I can't hear you, what are you saying?" I was slightly calmer now, knowing he was going to tell me.
Emmett took a deep breath:
-"I kissed someone." I was in shock. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mind went on auto-control. "Please let it be Esme. Please let him tell me that he is joking and that he just kissed mum." I thought. "Please". I looked at the man I loved and asked the question I really wanted him not to answer:
-"Who?" It came out as a whisper. Emmett bit his lip:
-"Izzy, she's one of the kids bigger sisters." I closed my eyes, unvillingly picturing it. "I'm so sorry Rose. I..." I cut him off:
-"Don't." I said. "Don't speak to me. Ever." I let go of his hand and walked out the door.
The next day, I was in Italy. I saw Jane to my right. Behind her stood three other vampires. I closed my eyes and lied to myself. It never happend, Emmett still loved me. He never cheated on me. I sighted, realising that it wasn't true. This time, I couldn't lie to myself. I took a step forward. Into the sun. "Goodbye Emmett".