Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and do not own Harry Potter..I'm just borrowing her charaters for a little while :-)!
AN - This is my first fancic ever! or atleast the first one i've actually finished. It was inspired by the Johnny Logan song, 'Hold Me Now' and is meant to be just a short story.
Hold Me Now
Everything was quiet as she apparated into the room. The curtains were drawn blocking out the bright sunshine which she knew was outside. This darkness hid the emptiness of the room, which would not betray the fact that a human being lived there.
'Lumos' she muttered, even though she would have been able to get around the room without any light.
The faint wand light illuminated a small dusty room which contained an old sofa that looked as if though no one had sat on it for the past ten years. The only sign that a person lived there were a couple of photographs showing two boys and a girl in their school uniforms, laughing and joking. She could not help but smile at the photos which reminded her of a happier, more innocent time.
Slowly she made her way to the door and quietly she opened it, although she knew that he would already know that she was there. The hallway looked as neglected as the room which she had just left. A faint light at the end of it showed her that she would find him in the bedroom, where he always waited for her.
The door creaked as she opened it and he looked up from the book which he was reading. It still struck her as odd to find him reading, even though she knew that he was no longer the young boy who sulked and pouted every time she dragged him to the library to research something.
'Hello' he said softly, as he slowly marked the page and set down the book
'Hello Harry' she said quietly while she turned to close the door.
She sensed more than heard him walk up to her and all of a sudden she felt herself being turned around. Before she could react his lips had found hers in a surprisingly gentle kiss. These meetings were generally hardly what you would call gentle, and by now they would usually be ripping the clothes off each other.
As he deepened the kiss she felt the tears which she had been trying to hold back, fall down her cheeks. She prayed that he would not notice. But in such close proximity it was impossible for him not to. As he brought his hand up to her face he noticed that her cheeks were wet and he slowly pulled away and looked at her.
'Well there goes the impression I had that I had improved in the kissing department since my fifth year' he said smiling cheekily, obviously trying to cheer her up and somehow she could not help it, she smiled too. He was the only person who could do this to her. Whenever she was miserable he always knew exactly what to say to make her smile, not even R…no she would not think like that.
At this she felt a gentle tug on her hand, as he took her smile as encouragement and led her to the bed. However no matter how much she tried to forget and give in to his kisses the tears still trickled down her face.
'What's wrong Hermione?' he asked, sitting down on the bed
'I can't do this anymore Harry' she sobbed, as she joined him on the bed 'I feel like
I'm getting torn in two, I can't keep lying to Ron…to everyone…I'm getting married in a week for Merlin's sake' she almost screamed the last part as her tears turned to anger.
His face however grew more resigned with each word she uttered, as if he had been expecting this to happen for a very long time.
'You know I would never ask you to sacrifice your happiness' he said quietly as he looked into the fire which illuminated the room. 'Maybe it would be better if we didn't she each other again' and at this he turned away from her.
'Oh, yes of course, how could I forget? You're Harry Potter always the martyr, always having to sacrifice his happiness for others!' At this she stomped over to him and turned him round to face her 'Don't you think I have a right to decide who it is that makes me happy? Harry I lo…' But he did not let her finish as he cut her off with a kiss.
She knew he did not want to hear the words; it would make everything much more difficult. It was his stupid noble notion that he could not give her the life she deserved while Voldemort was still around. That was why he had cut himself off from everyone. Why she was now a week away from marrying Ron, even though she would never be able to love him like she did Harry.
'Please don't say it Hermione' he said as he broke the kiss and looked deeply into her eyes. She knew what he was going to ask her before he even said it
'Can I at least have one last night with you?' he asked pleadingly
She could never deny him anything and slowly nodded her consent, which was all the encouragement that he needed as took her hand and led her to his bed.
She woke up as the sunlight was filtering through a gap in the curtains. This was the part she most hated…having to leave him. It became so much harder every time and the knowledge that today would be the last time she ever saw him like this was making it almost impossible for her to go. She loved how his hair looked even more messed up than normal, how long his lashes looked without his glasses to cover them, but most of all she loved how peaceful he looked when he was asleep.
Careful so as to not wake him, she left his embrace and quickly got dressed. If it felt difficult to leave him whilst he was asleep, she knew it would be impossible if he woke up and asked her to stay. Somewhere deep down she hoped that he would wake up and beg her to stay, but she also knew that he would never do that at least not while there was the threat of Voldemort hanging over his head.
She bent down to give him one last kiss as the tears started to run down her cheeks. 'Goodbye Harry' she whispered as she opened the door and let herself out. Once the door was closed she let herself say the words which she never had before, 'I love you' With that she apparated away feeling like she was leaving half of herself behind.
She just could not do it. She was not strong enough for this. As everyone buzzed around her with excitement, everything seemed to be strangely detached, as if it was only a dream. When her mother embraced her and told her that this should be the happiest day of her life something inside her snapped. She finally realised the huge mistake she was making, that she could never be happy this way. Not caring about the fact that she was already in her wedding dress or that the church was already full of people, she left. She realised that she should have left a long time ago, that this was not the life she wanted, he was not the one she wanted.
Apparating into the living room she instantly realised that something was not right. For the first time she could not sense his presence and it scared her. Not noticing her dress knocking over more than one thing she ran around the house looking for him. When she could not find him in any of the other rooms, she turned with trembling hands to open the door of his room. It was empty; the curtains open probably for the first time in months, letting in the sunlight which mocked her with its brightness. On the impeccably made bed there was an envelope with her name on it. Trying to fight back the tears she reached out and opened it.
Dearest Hermione,
If you are reading this it means that you came back to me and have, in a way made me the happiest guy in the world. I'm sorry I won't be here to hold you but it was time for me to go and face my destiny (boy doesn't that sound melodramatic! I know not time for jokes!)
Even if you don't read this I just have to say how much I'll miss you when you're gone and how all my love for you will go on and on. I know I can never love anyone as much as I do you and you have been the one shining light in my life.
Always remember that though I won't be there anymore I will always love you.
What do you say when words are not enough?
Harry
The tears were now freely falling down her face. She could not believe it. He was actually gone; she had let him go on his own. How could she have been so selfish, so stupid? It should not have been like this; she should have been at his side. She pulled the nearest pillow towards her and hugged it; it still smelt of him. She cried until she was sure that the tears would never stop but there was nothing else she could do. Nothing mattered to her anymore all she could do was wait and hope that one day he would come back to her.
AN - Love it...hate it? Please please review?