"So..." She says, a look of disgust thinly veiled only for his benefit. "So?" I reply, a teasing sneer on my face. He looks between us, wringing his hands in frustration. "Please will you at least try to get on?" His green eyes are wide with dismay like a small child denied hugs.
"Hello, Master," she hisses, eyes bulging in distaste. "Professor." My voice is curt and professional. I only let a little of the contempt I feel for her frost my words a little. I can tell this irks her further. I smirk to myself and she shoots me a filthy look. He gives me a sour look. "Master, behave." Ah, he knows me too well. I smile at him sweetly. "Yes, my dear Doctor." Ahahaha, now he's all flustered... And she's glaring at me more.
The Doctor tears his eyes from me and glances back at Song. "Well, you see, um, this is why I, um, can't marry you." He runs a hand through his mop of hair anxiously. She stands there, frozen, and he blinks at her. "You aren't upset, are you?" No, darling, I think. She isn't upset. She's livid. Her face goes chalky white.
Then... Instead of the screaming fit I was sure would follow, she... smiles! Then she lets out a giggle. And before we know it, River Song, the woman who 'kills' the Doctor, is crying with laughter. "Are you... Are you ok?" He asks nervously, if expecting her to lash out at him at any moment. She pants in hysterics for a few minutes. The Doctor gives me a "help?!" look. I smirk at him, and he rolls his eyes and takes my hand. She dries her eyes and grins at us. "I always suspected you were gay." He gapes. "I- um, what?" She looks at her (watch-less) wrist. "Vastra owes me £10!" And with a cheery wave, the woman who doesn't marry OR kill the Doctor dematerializes. I realise my mouth is hanging wide open and quickly close it. "What in Rassilon's name was that?!" He shrugs. "Always the women." I squeeze his hand. "Always the women" I echo, wryly.