Ah, how the days fly by... and how few updates I deliver. I have to make this more of a habit...
Either way, here it is, my Fourth Fanfiction Anniversary story! Hopefully I'll stay more on top of this than the others...
Well, cross our fingers!
Agnostos United
By The Unknown Alias
Chapter 1
Heroes' Calling
The cartoonish sound characteristic to his kind rang with his steps along with the scraping of his peg legs on the cobblestone trail. Arriving at the campsite located in the Land of Carnage, he was greeted by his teammates.
"Hey dood!"
"Dood! Hero, how's it goin'?"
"It's about time you got here dood!"
"Hey doods!" Hero Prinny greeted with a wave of his flipper. Hero Prinny, the surviving leader of Demon Lord Etna's Prinny squad, was practically a God amongst his kind. Being a main character, he was gifted the trademark scarf and the benefits that go with it. (Hey, if he appeared with it in the downloadable content of Disgaea 3, why not?) Being the unofficial leader of the Prinnies wasn't that hard (since Etna was the official leader,); all he really did was assign the tasks for the Prinnies each day. He became the envy of his teammates, what with his ample free time and Nippon Ichi contract to not be killed, but the lower salary was the trade off.
"We've got the assignments from Master Etna doods. I'll place them over there for you guys to pick up along with the list of those going into training with the Prince." Hero Prinny then went over to a table and pulled out the stack of assignments from his satchel along with the battleground list and went off to the side, allowing the swarm of servants to lay their claim.
Hero listened on with disinterest ("Aw man, I got stuck with sewer duty again dood!") while soaking in the day. Things have been quiet since the Prince returned from that Netherworld Academy place (alas, still short one collector's DVD box set). Hero Prinny was lucky enough to have Mao lose interest in him, so he was free to go. Things fell back into a normal routine.
Looking back on it a few years from now, he was happy to have it broken by fate.
The gates to the camp were blasted open and large tanks with what appeared to have holding cases on the back, large vacuum nozzles on the front, and above those a domed cockpit holding a small, diminutive, green skinned mecha-nymph as the pilot. Above them was a purple pig-like demon, flapping his bat-like wings and speaking through a megaphone.
"Hello demons of the Neterworld! May I please have your attention?"
The voice was a cross of an aristocrat and slime. To the Hero Prinny, it was a familiar voice that he hadn't heard of in years. "Wait a minute… isn't that… Sir Sweet dood?"
"I, Sir Sweet, as a member of the Alliance, am now taking control of the Netherworld. But don't worry, unlike your previous rulers I actually care for the people in my land. So, all of you who do not want me in control, please raise your hand at this time."
The collection of demons that served as Laharl's army looked amongst each other for a moment and then they unanimously raised their hands.
Sir Sweet remained unchanged. "………GET THEM!"
At once, the tanks moved forth, activating their vacuums. They rushed through the camp, sucking up any demon they could into the cases reinforced so that the most reincarnated level 9999 Galaxy Rune Knight wouldn't leave a scratch.
Hero Prinny broke out into a sweat and snuck behind a tent. "Oh crap dood! This can't be good!"
"I know! This is an outrage!" a juvenile voice spoke. Hero Prinny turned to see an angry Laharl accompanied by an annoyed Etna and a happy as usual Flonne. "Upstart pig thinks he can suddenly take over my Netherworld? Well he's got another thing coming!"
Hero Prinny's panic faded into relief as the original trio rushed into battle. "Oh thank Celestia dood! For a minute there I thought we'd be in trouble."
But then, a vortex of swirling blue energy opened up and a metallic sphere with a large red lens flew out in front of him.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hero Prinny panicked. "Don't kill me! I still got just 500 years of service left!"
The sphere only started to project a screen and it crackled through the static of the signal. It cleared to show some child with steel rimmed glasses, hazel eyes, pale skin, in a green dress shirt and khaki dress pants, curly brown hair that curtained his head, and a silver ring on his right hand middle finger with the intertwined symbols of Alpha and Omega.
"Hello. Judging by the scarf around your neck, I assume that you're the Hero Prinny, correct?"
"Yeah dood, but so what?"
"My name is the Unknown Alias. We haven't met yet, but trust me; I'm your ally here. Sir Sweet has joined forces with villains from other worlds and with their help is taking over your Netherworld."
The Hero Prinny gave him a blank stare, turned to the attack that raged behind him, and turned back. "A little late with the information, don't ya think?"
"Listen, I've been researching your world and I know you've dealt with this guy before. So I'm asking you to help us in fighting off all of our enemies. The sake of all of our worlds may be at stake!"
"Listen, dood, I can understand that you want my help, but you won't need it! Master Etna and the Prince are fighting him right now. He doesn't stand a chance!"
At once, a loud explosion erupted followed by a body slamming into the ground. When the dust settled, Hero's fish eyes widened more than usual at the battered and beaten form of Laharl.
The sphere's visual camera saw this, showing Alias. He grimaced. "Did I mention that his cohorts have made him ridiculously powerful beyond reason?"
"Mwuhahaha!" Sir Sweet laughed as he arrived accompanied by two large robots wielding scepters and one large wheel for transport. It should be noted that the robots have each of Laharl's female companions as well. "So much for the great Overlord Laharl! The Netherworld is mine!" It was then that he noticed Hero Prinny. "You! I've wanted to settle some unfinished business with you!"
"AHHHHAHHHAHAHA!" Hero panicked. "OKAY OKAY OKAY! I'M IN! JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"Quick, into the portal! It'll lead you to me!"
With that, the screen turned off and both the sphere and Hero took to the vortex. They went through just in time to dodge a candy bomb.
Sir Sweet scoffed. "Oh well, it doesn't matter. He'll come around soon enough. Lock these three up! I'll have to have a talk with the former Overlord soon."
At the other end of the portal, Hero tripped through in a panic, beak to floor.
"Aw, adorable!" a chipper female voice perked. "It's a penguin!"
"Actually, no Ulala" Alias corrected. "It's a human soul occupying a doll-like body. They're known as Prinnies."
"Like a ghost? Cause I'm sensing some serious demon energy," a deep voice spoke with a Jamaican accent.
"Well, he is a demon. Albeit a delicate one prone to explosions" Alias clarified before snapping his fingers to an idea. "Oh yeah, that's right! Hero, come here fore a second."
Hero Prinny pulled himself off of the shiny floor as Alias placed his palm on the demon's forehead. An indescribable feeling of adrenaline rippled through him for a few seconds until Alias pulled away.
"There. Now you're more durable than any Prinny in existence. Can't have you dying on us after four hits."
Hero looked around to see that he arrived at a long and spacious hall. It was pristine and lined with pillars. At one end was a set of purple, rounded doors. At the other was a wall of a window and a large desk cluttered with many papers and knickknacks.
He saw he wasn't alone. Alias was there, along with three others. One was human, a tall one, with a white miniskirt and tube-top with sleeved gloves and sleeved high heels. The girl had a pair of blue guns strapped to her thighs, had a blue headset (complete with microphone) wrapped around her head, and beautiful pink hair done into pigtails. The second was some kind of furry animal with spiked hair, orange fur (covered with what appeared to be tattoos,), jean shorts, sneakers, and large green eyes. Beside him was some kind of a mask made from the husk of a coconut, decked in feathers, yellow eyes, and a wide mouth.
Hero Prinny took it all in and then said the only logic he could pull from this situation. "Man, I haven't had a morning this weird since that one time with the succubus and pheromone dust."
The three strangers gasped a little. "It can talk?" the mask asked.
"Of course!" Alias answered. "In the Netherworld, many if not all demons can talk. Now gather around everyone, it's time for introductions."
Alias snapped his fingers and a cybernetic blue screen descended from the ceiling, a separate one serving as a keyboard. He typed a few things and pulled up clips of the animal's escapades.
"Crash Bandicoot," Alias introduced. "A genetic experiment reject with unusual ability. Assisted by a guardian spirit named Aku Aku, he has saved his world multiple times; usually through the collection of magically enhanced crystals."
The clips then switched to those of the girl's report show. "Ulala. Ace reporter from the year 2485 for the news channel station Space Channel 5. Has saved the galaxy twice through the enriching power of dance."
The clips switched again to those of Hero Prinny's epic travel through the Netherworld. "Hero Prinny. A Prinny that holds the power of a Demon Lord in his scarf, making him slightly harder to kill. Led a 1000 member platoon to retrieve a dessert for their boss."
The screen cleared as Alias turned to greet them. "And I am The Unknown Alias. A Fanfiction author, granting me powers to mold reality… to an extent."
Alias typed once more on the keyboard pulling up a picture of a tall, handsome, muscular man with five o'clock shadow, black hair made into a pompadour, a white long sleeved muscle shirt, a black belt bearing a silver N for a buckle, and purple pants to match his black dress shoes.
"And now for the reason I have gathered us here. His name is Jerry Nomar. He is the head of an evil organization with goals of global domination. He knows of my reality warping capabilities and has sought them for some time. He has recently somehow discovered a method of traveling to different dimensions. I have traced his travels and the worlds he has visited, yours."
Along with Nomar's picture came pictures of Dr. Cortex, Sir Sweet, and Purge.
"In each of your worlds, he has made an ally of your enemies. They've pooled their resources into an Alliance, obviously with the intent of conquering our worlds. We don't know what their master plan is, but it can't be anything good."
The screen cleared again and the image of the Roller Droids appeared, the same kind that accompanied Sir Sweet.
"Using their resources and combined scientific know-how, they have created countless armies of minions, enriched with energies of the other worlds so as to not be easily destroyed."
Other images popped up showing the Mojo Temples occupied by Cortex, a mass of hypnotized people being forced to dance, and a factory holding countless demons of the Netherworld.
"In each of your worlds, the Alliance has already gone underway with gathering massive amounts of energy; most likely for their master plan."
Alias cleared the screen again and sent it back up before turning to his guests. Before he could speak, Ulala had to burst.
"Oh come on! Don't worry so much! If you think about it, this is a once in a lifetime experience."
"Lifetime experience or not, this is no simple matter!" Aku Aku scolded which Crash joined with a disapproving stare. "One evil villain is bad enough, but with so many powerful people working together, it's going to take all we got just to survive!"
"The mask is right Ulala," Alias joined. "If my data was correct, Purge nearly ended the life of your director, and that was just with one powerful hostage. He'll be all the more difficult thanks to his allies. That's why I brought all of us together. We each defeated these guys ourselves, so if combine our abilities, we'll be able to wipe the floor with these punks!"
"I know, I know. I know too well actually," Ulala muttered. "I'm just saying that not many people can travel to other universes and save many worlds, much less be part of a multi-dimensional team."
"So then, since we're all here, where do we start?" Hero Prinny asked.
"Well, Nomar has done a good job of keeping himself hidden. My admins are busy hunting him down, but until then we have no idea just where their lair is. With this in mind, our only leads are each of your worlds. We'll stop the villains from gathering energy and perhaps gather some information as to their plans" Alias decided.
"So, where to first then doods?"
Crash waved his hand like a kindergartner, spouting his usual ineligible babble. Aku Aku translated. "Why not Wumpa Islands?"
"Done!" Alias said and with a snap of his fingers, a portal opened in the wall beside them. "Let's begin gentlemen! …… Um, and lady!"
And so the five rushed through the portal, beginning their war against the Alliance.
The Unknown Alias's status: Signed out