"The moment of impact proves potential for change. Has ripples effects far beyond what we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them closer than before. While sending others spinning off into great ventures. Landing them where you've never thought you've found them. That's the thing about moments like these. You can't, no matter how hard you try, control how they're going to affect you. You just gotta let the colliding part goes where they may. And wait. Until the next collision." – The Vow (2012)
46. Clarke still couldn't believe that they managed to rescue everyone from Mount Weather, everyone except Harper.
Clarke suddenly felt a firm hand grasp her shoulder, she lifted her head up to see Bellamy in front of her staring at her with his intense brown eyes; Clarke never noticed quite how brown they were until now. "We did it Clarke, we got them out." Stated Bellamy his relief audible in the way he spoke, "We should have done it sooner. Harper would still be alive if we…" Bellamy closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and clenched his jaw, Clarke suddenly realised that that had become a habit of his, "I know, I wish we had been here in time to save her Clarke, but we saved 46 today, 46 of our people are still alive." She knew this was true and was relieved that they had managed to save the rest with only one death, she wasn't sure how many deaths she could manage, or how many more fights they could win, there is already so much blood on their hands, and now she had Finn's blood on her hands. Every time she closes her eyes she sees Finn's blood all over her hands, hears Raven's primal scream from Camp Jaha, every night she would wake in a sweat, crying and every time Bellamy had been there for her, Bellamy has always been there for her even more so after Finn's death and Raven telling her that she will never forgive Clarke for what she did.
They had returned to Camp Jaha after the rescue, Abby had given them all a medical examination to make sure they were all well. Monty and Jasper joined Clarke at one of the tables and brought her a glass of moonshine, "So what have we missed?" Asked Jasper looking expectedly at Clarke, "Where's Finn? I don't remember seeing him during the rescue" Stated Monty as he examined the area in which they were sat, "He's…" Stuttered Clarke as she noticed Raven walking past "Hey Raven!" Called Jasper as he waved her over, Raven refused to look Clarke's way as she spoke "It's good to have you guys back" Monty was staring Raven in the eyes when his smile slowly faded "What's happened? Where's Finn?" Raven posture went stiff as Monty said Finn, Raven looked at Clarke "Ask Clarke." She turned on her heels and left. The boys turned Clarke's way waiting for her to respond "Finn is…Dead." Whispered Clarke, she had never seen a smile disappear as fast as Jasper's did, in that moment she wished that they were back at the dropship, she wished it was Unity Day, they were so happy back then, even Bellamy.
She told her mum that she needed to get some more water for the medical centre, she just needed to get away from the camp, away from the distraught looks of Monty and Jasper as they still were looking for answers to what happened to Finn but she just couldn't bring herself to tell them that it was her, she killed Finn. When she arrived at the lake near the dropship, she walked to the water's edge and looked at her reflection in the water, she hardly recognised the girl that looked back at her, her appearance had changed so much since being on the ark. The water was cold and refreshing against her face, when she opened her eyes, the water was replaced by blood, Clarke shot up and stumbled back, suddenly two firm hands had grasped her shoulders keeping her from falling "Watch your step there Princess." Teased a voice from behind her, she could hear he was smirking before she even turned to see his face "You saved him Clarke." Clarke looked him in the eyes, no one had said that she saved him before, only that she killed him, "They would have tortured him. They are savages who wanted revenge. You spared him hours, maybe even days of agony." "You would have done the same" Questioned Clarke, his hands still on her shoulders, she didn't need to ask she could tell by his face what he was going to say but she needed to hear someone say it out loud. "Yes. I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself but yes." He dropped his hands from her shoulders, a shiver passed through Clarke as his warmth disappear.
At the start they didn't get along but as time went on, her and Bellamy had gotten closer and became equal leaders of the 100, they started disagree with each other all the time but as more and more problems arose they began to agree more especially once they found the guns, that was when she realised she could trust him. When she thought he was dead and arrived at Camp Jaha with her mum telling her that he was alive and so was Finn, she was so relieved like a huge weight was lifted. But then she saw him entering the camp helping an injured girl with Octavia at his side, a sudden wave of relief and joy hit her and a smile had spread across her face and she found herself running towards Bellamy, she threw her arms around him and he held her, so tight it had just felt right; that was when she realised she can't lose him again. When Finn had died and she was consumed by her nightmares, every time she woke Bellamy had been there to reassure her; that was when she realised that he would always be there for her.
"We should head back to camp" Stated Bellamy waking Clarke from her thoughts, Bellamy turned to lead the way back towards the drop ship. Clarke grabbed hold of his lower arm and turned him back round in one swift movement, as she looked at him her heart started to beat faster, she took a step closer to him reaching a hand out she placed it on his chest. He had a calming effect she constantly craved from him, he felt warm and she always felt safe near him. Her hand moved up to his face and she cupped his cheek with her hand. Bellamy leaned into her touch, the moment was perfect in every way. He leaned down laying his hands on her waist; the only thing she could see, and wanted to see was him, all of her pain and worries faded away as he pressed his lips to hers and there was no turning back, Bellamy ignited that spark Clarke needed. The princess had finally found her rebel. A spark in her heart now became a full blazing fire and she couldn't pull herself away from him. Her mind was racing, a million thoughts rushing round and she could have lost herself in the moment. It was all so surreal. Who would have known given everything that had happened that they'd be here? Lips locked and loving every goddamn second of it. She'd come a long way and she wasn't going give this up for the world. Because in that moment Clarke realised she was in trouble.
She was in love with Bellamy Blake.