Hi, for those who don't know me, I'm Mrs. Bella Skywalker, or Bella.
I had written this under Star Wars previously, but then I realized that it was more for Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
A/N: I do not own anything from Star Wars.
Originally published: February 24, 2011
Gone...
Dead and gone...
Was it possible...?
Is he really-?
Yes, he is. Your brother is gone...you tell yourself. It felt like thousand of years that you tell yourself this. The words still pains you just as much. But you don't like how you tell yourself this statement. You do not like your voice. Your voice is like a blaster: it saves you, but it can kill you just the same.
You do not like your voice because your voice is right, and you know it.
He is gone.
Your brother, the stubborn, hot-head of Domino Squad, the born leader, the adventure seeker, the one who hated the Rishi moon outpost, your teammate...
Is gone.
Pain grows in your heart. It burns like a lightsaber piercing. Although you have never felt a lightsaber go through your heart, you feel like your heart has. You store that pain as best as you can in your burnt heart. You try to hide the pain, but it hurts even more when you think about the loss of your brother.
He didn't even get to become an ARC trooper...you realize. You know how much your wanted to be like an ARC trooper. It pains you that he didn't get to.
But, you remember how you treated him back on Kamino. You and him didn't get along.
I'm thinking like an ARC trooper.
ARC troopers follow orders.
Care to repeat that, Echo?
Sure, you two didn't get along, but you gain a closer friendship at the Rishi moon outpost.
He always did hate that place. But did he have to go down with it? Did he have to be the one to sacrifice himself?
You feel like your heart is burning in lava. Your head is about to explode with guilt.
You feel like you could have done something.
He shouldn't have been the one to detonate the nitrogen manually. I should have...you tell yourself. You feel that you should have been the one to sacrifice his life. You can't live through this pain, that's for sure.
But thinking of your brother makes you think more. He wouldn't want that, you state. Who would want their brother to suffer from the guilt they store within their heart? That would be painful for anyone to witness in the afterlife.
You now think back to the honors which General Skywalker and General Kenobi gave you and your surviving comrade, Fives.
"Your new unit is lucky to have you. I would be proud to fight alongside you anytime, anywhere."
You feel happy that a Jedi told you and Fives this, but what was it worth? To loose your brother and have himself sacrifice his life?
You feel like you don't deserve an honor. Or any honor, for that matter. This medal that now hangs from your uniform is nothing compared to the loss of your brother.
It's just some stupid piece of metal glued to some ribbon, you decide. Your brother is so much more than some metal.
He was a living being who deserved more than an outpost officer. He deserved some more action that those tinnies put up against you clones at the outpost.
What is the point of war, anyway? The only thing you get are dead brothers and comrades.
What do we clones have worth fighting for?
Worth winning this war for?
Most clones, in your opinion, died in vain. You and your brothers must fight this war, whether you liked it or not. You will probably die, as well. More so, you will probably die in vain. You think more of your dead brother now.
Did he die in vain, too? You wonder. No one answers.
But...you come to realize something...
He didn't die in vain...he died as a hero. He saved Captain Rex's life, Commander Cody's life, Fives's life, your life-
He saved all of our brothers' lives.
If it hadn't been for him, to blow up that station, the Republic wouldn't have known of the Separatists' plans to invaded Kamino and wiped out all clone troopers. Including you and Fives.
For that, you decide, that you should have your brother's sacrifice recognized. Your brother deserves it.
He died for your safety and your right to live.
It's the least you can do for your brother.
You walk up to another clone trooper, who has a red medal hanging from his uniform, just like you. His armor shows the markings of battle and of unshorn blood. This blood is both yours, his and your lost brother's.
"Hey, Fives?" you ask. The trooper turns his direction to you. He smiles at you. His smile is your smile. His smile comforts your loss. You know Fives' loss of your brother is as great as yours. You and Fives both lost the same brother, and his lost is just as painful.
You clear your throat. "We should paint a miniature Z-6 rotary blaster canon on our armor," you explain. Fives gives you a confused look.
"What for?" he asks. It is now your turn to smile, for you know who this honor is for.
"For Hevy." Fives stays quiet for a few minutes. You wonder at first why he is so quiet, but you soon figure that he, as well, thinks about the loss of your comrade. Soon, Fives smiles again.
"That's a good idea, Echo. We should write that underneath the canon," he explains. You can't help but chuckle.
"I couldn't agree more," you state. The smile which you had formed has grown even bigger.
The guilt which you stored in your heart isn't that bad anymore. It's not as painful to take out. Your heart starts to heal from the lightsaber pierce. You can live with the pain.
Now, you know that you have something worth fighting for.
Someone worth winning this war for.
For Hevy.
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