Screaming, that was all she had done for the last hour. Her last moment spent not screaming was when she answered the phone call as she shimmied around the condo in San Diego. Nick had gone to work to finish some last minute paper work, promising to be back soon with a reassuring kiss to her forehead that made her stomach tingle. After that, she had found ways to occupy her time; cleaning and organizing around the condo, looking up a new restaurant for them to try tonight and other odds and ends. When the landline phone rang which hardly ever did, she had to slide into the kitchen to snatch it off the wall mount before it went to the answering machine.
"Hello?" she had answered tentatively unsure who would utilize that device to contact them.
The voice on the line introduced themselves as supervisor so and so from the San Diego crime lab, the name vanishing from her memory the instant they asked for her and if she was the emergency contact for Supervisor Nick Stokes.
She could feel her heart pound faster in her chest as the supervisor on the phone mumbled words to her that shattered her very soul. The scream she let out, which turned into an agonizing sob a moment later, tore at her vocal cords and left her gasping for air, clutching the wall for support as the weight of the reason behind the call hit her like bricks.
The voice on the line faded as she dropped the phone and scrambled to find her keys, jamming her finger in the doorway as she exited the condo, sped off in her car towards the name of the hospital the supervisor told her, but the road signs blurred in front of her as she drove. Once at the emergency room, she screamed at anyone and everyone, begging them for information about Nick even though she knew they all could not possibly know of his whereabouts or of what happened to him. She hadn't even bothered to ask the other supervisor, all she had to hear was "accident" and "hospital" for her to completely shut down, thinking only of Nick and getting to him as quickly as possible.
She went through the whole process; being taken to one floor, then another, speaking to nurses then a doctor, until finally someone took pity on her and confirmed Nick's location as she confirmed being his emergency contact. She found herself being taken down another hallway on a different floor, stopping in front of a gentleman in a suit and tie wearing a badge like Nick wore to work everyday. Julie listened agonizingly as the man spoke; everything started out normal, weird noises in the building, minor explosion, Nick caught the brunt of it. Those were the phrases she clung to as the hospital sounds around her clashed horribly with her subconscious.
"Let me see him," she begged the doctor on call who had led her here.
"We need to stabilize him first," the doctor explained "he'll be sedated for while anyways so the best thing you can do is stay here and we will update you when we can."
Then they both left her, standing in that hallway, hugging herself, swaying unsteadily, terrified of what she would see when they finally let her be with Nick, whimpering when she realized they were not coming back.
Waiting was the ultimate torture. Nurses and doctors hustled and bustled by her but no one stopped to speak to her or inform her of what was happening with Nick. Julie couldn't bring herself to look at the clock but she knew at least an hour or so had passed. Despite the barrage of hospital workers coming and going around her, a presence lingered over her and she had to look up to see who it was. She jumped as her name was called delicately "Jules" leaping out of her seat and facing Russell and Sara, familiar faces that made her let out the breath she had been holding with tears of relief simultaneously.
"You guys," she cried out to them "Nicky- he's, I can't even, they won't let me in, I tried."
Her words were coming out in garbled chunks, her entire body shaking in fear. Russell knew she was struggling to stay in control.
"Listen," he soothed, holding her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him "he's gonna be ok, all right?" We'll get to see him, you just gotta give them time."
"How did you know?" she asked now "I couldn't call anyone yet."
"Nicks boss has the labs number for emergencies too," Sara explained gently "when he told us, we knew you were here and we got the first flight out."
Julie looked frantically from her to Russell, grateful for their concern for her and Nick. But she was still trapped in a world of uncertainty.
Russell and Sara sat with Julie in the hallway until the doctor who had spoken with her before returned. Julie leapt up immediately when she saw him.
"We have him stabilized, but he needs to remain sedated, you can see him but one person at a time," the doctor informed her.
"Is he hurt real bad?" Julie dared to ask.
"Some cuts and bruises but most of the injuries were to his head so we're watching for any swelling or bleeding but so far everything looks good," the doctor relayed the info to her.
He motioned for Julie now to follow him into the room where Nick was. What she imagined was not what she saw. She expected him to look frail and sick the way she must have during her coma. Instead, he looked as if he was just asleep in the bed, hooked up to a few machines but nothing like what she had. It was a small relief in her mind but barely enough to calm her fears. What if he didn't wake up?
"Is he-when will he wake up?" Julie asked breathlessly afraid her voice would disturb him.
"We took him off the sedation drugs so it could be anytime within the next two days," the doctor informed her.
"Two days?" Julie asked incredulously.
"You're welcome to stay here and be with him as long as you want," the doctor said, confirming her nightmare of being alone again or leaving Nick alone in this place.
She had collapsed in the cushiony chair beside the bed, leaning sideways in it, her neck aching but she was sitting poorly on purpose to keep herself from falling asleep. He would wake up, the doctors told her so, the drugs would wear off soon, there would be no lasting damage, and yet, she couldn't shake the feelings of fear over what had happened to him. Russell and Sara meant well, she knew, but they couldn't bring back hurt or dead people, no one could. Nick was not going to die but how many close calls could they both have with death before it claimed them? She let out an involuntary whimper at those thoughts, curling up tighter, drawing her knees up to her chest, trying to make herself as uncomfortable as possible.
She sensed movement to her right where the door to the hospital room was. She anticipated a doctor or a nurse coming in to make a round or deliver some update she must have missed previously. Instead, a shadow moved across the floor and the guest knelt down in front of her. Julie couldn't help but jump, startled when she saw him for it had been a while. It was silly of her to think Sara had come here alone.
"Hi," Grissom whispered to her.
"Hi," she mumbled back lazily.
"I would ask how you are but that seems redundant I think," Grissom continued.
Julie shrugged, unsure how to answer him or why he was even here talking to her.
"You've probably heard this a million times," Grissom said glancing back at the bed where Nick was heavily sedated by all the different pain killers "but he's tough, he's going to get through this."
"I know," Julie allowed herself to say before it turned into a devastated whimper.
"And you and I both know how scary things like this can be," Grissom reminded her "Sara was kidnapped by a serial killer years ago and we spent long hours in a hospital too."
Julie nodded, indicating that she knew the story.
"I'm sure Nick already told you about his past," Grissom continued, looking back at the bed once more.
"His stalker," Julie murmured "that crazy man who kidnapped him and put him in that box,"
At these words, she started to cry, feeling helpless at not being able to help him back then or now.
She buried her face in her knees which were the closest thing she could hide in, the fabric of her jeans soaking up her tears. Though her hands were clenched together in angry fists, she felt one slowly being uncurled, then squeezed comfortingly. When she dared to glance up at her surroundings again through tear filled eyes, she saw Grissom still in front of her but holding her hand.
"I'm so sorry," he sympathized "this isn't fair to you or Nick to have to go through horrible things like this; you two have been through enough already."
"But," he continued when she sobbed in agreement "I know that he's a fighter, I've seen it when he was hurt before, and you, you're a fighter too, it takes two strong people to beat comas and being buried alive then find each other to love and protect."
"Nicky says-you taught him- everything he knows," Julie explained, her words punctuated by heavy sobs "you're the reason-he knew-he could do this job, he talks about you all the time, he was-really upset when you guys started leaving Vegas-he didn't know what he would do without you guys and now-
She recalled all of their conversations about his former supervisor and mentor. She loved hearing stories of all their old cases and fun they had off duty. She ached for nostalgia she had never been part of for Nick's sake. Yet she always had a feeling that she could never be as important as they were to him, she could never live up to that moment in time when he still had his friends around him. She also feared losing him and what would become of her after that. Her connection to the team would be lost forever.
"You think you would lose your place here if he didn't make it," Grissom concluded her soul crushing sentiment.
Finally he had confirmed what her deepest secret and fear was; if Nick died, she would truly be alone.
She nodded, hating herself for thinking so negatively. But after the fiasco with her adoption secret coming forward and the struggle to find her biological parents, she couldn't stand the thought of someone abandoning her again.
"Oh honey," Grissom soothed, scooting forward to be closer to her "that's not going to happen okay? No one is going to leave you stranded. You're our family forever Jules, we wouldn't let you go through life alone, I can promise you that."
Julie sniffled, nodded in understanding, then asked "How do you do that?"
"Do what?" Grissom asked her.
"Know everything?" she asked, wiping her eyes clumsily with the back of her hand.
"It's a gift," he teased, grinning in spite of himself, recalling how many times Sara or Catherine had asked him that very same question. In fact, the more he watched over Julie, the more he was reminded of Sara in her moments of distress and how badly he wished he could make things better for her. A few ideas came to mind so he stood up slowly, letting her hand slowly fall from his, not realizing how tight she had been holding onto him for support.
"I'll be back in a few minutes o.k?" he told her gently in case she wanted him to stay, feeling protective over her in her fragile state.
"Okay," Julie replied quietly, feeling exhausted just speaking a few words at a time, her eyes aching to close, to rest but fearful of not being awake for Nick when he came around.
Out in the hallway, Sara and Russell had waited for Grissom to speak to Julie.
"What do you think he's telling her?" Russell asked.
"Something profound, I'm sure," Sara said, smirking, knowing how her husband could be when trying to convey some important message or lesson.
"Does he know what he's dealing with?" Russell asked.
"No one is immune to his style," Sara said "not even stubborn Julie Finlay, you have your Zen, Grissom has, well, I don't really know how to explain it."
She stopped talking when Grissom emerged from the hospital room, shutting the door carefully behind him. He was met with curious looks from Sara and Russell.
"She'll be fine," Grissom assured them "she just needs some company; I'd like to sit with her for a little while if that's okay with you."
He sought approval from Russell knowing their history.
"Of course," Russell said "do whatever you can to help her."
"We can go back to the condo," Sara offered "grab some things for Jules and Nick, turn on the lights, make sure everything's okay there."
"I think that would be a good idea," Grissom agreed, glancing back at Julie hunkered down in her chair beside the bed knowing she was in no condition to function with any sense of focus.
Julie didn't hear the conversation, but she knew Grissom had left her to discuss her state with Sara and Russell. When she heard the door to the room open again, she continued to stare at Nick, lying still, breathing soundly but still not awake. What got her attention was the sound of rustling plastic. She dared to take her eyes off Nick for a moment to determine the source of the sound only to see that Grissom had returned, carrying a plastic bag with smaller packages of random vending machine snacks; little packets of crackers, trail mix and others she couldn't identify.
"I'm not hungry," she immediately told him without any prompting from him.
"For later then," Grissom said, anticipating her resistance to food and basic sustenance's, "but this is something for now."
He presented her with a medium sized stuffed toy bear, most likely from the gift shop somewhere inside the building. It reminded her of the various stuffed animals she had received during her coma which now occupied a shelf in their home in Vegas. The simple gesture made her heart ache for Nick even more and she quickly snatched the bear, hugging it to her chest as if her life depending on it.
"Thanks," she mumbled grateful for his tender care towards her even though they barely had any contact prior to this. She didn't have to wonder if his gestures were sincere or out of respect for Nick, this was the way Sara had described Grissom to her and how Nick had thrilled her with tales of him over the years.
Now that she had calmed down somewhat, Grissom took the second chair from the corner of the room, pulled it right up next to hers and settled down beside her to watch over Nick.
Night fell too quickly for her liking. She was exhausted by nine that night but she didn't dare close her eyes and risk missing out on Nick waking up without her. Grissom held vigil with her, mostly in silence, lost in thoughts until;
"Did Sara call you this morning?" Julie asked hoarsely from being silent for so long.
"She and I were scheduled to take the boat out for the weekend," Grissom regaled their plans "I have a place here too, you know, I've been inviting Nick and you over for dinner for a while."
"He never told me," Julie said stunned "we would love to; I wish I had known you were so close by."
"I travel a lot for the ocean research I'm given," Grissom explained "but Sara and I always make time for us."
"Nicky and I love our weekends here," Julie said "we go to the beach all the time; I love the beach, getting seashells, pushing each other into the water."
She couldn't suppress her giggle at the memory of their most recent jaunt on the beach, chasing each other around and being goofy.
Grissom smiled at her joy in the moment. She possessed an innocence that was almost child-like, hence the way she clung to the teddy bear for comfort, but a brilliant mind that allowed her to be an expert in her field. She reminded him of Sara again but also of Nick, it was no wonder they complimented each other so well.
"Sounds like fun," Grissom said of her story.
"It was," Julie sighed, turning over in the chair to face him now, playing absentmindedly with the stuffed bear's ear before asking quietly "what was it like?"
"What was what like?" he questioned.
"You guys," Julie asked "the team, you know, before me and Russell and Morgan were here, what was Nicky like?"
She pierced him with a look of curiosity and eagerness.
"Well we had some really wonderful times together," Grissom explained "we still do, we were the number one crime solving unit in our state and country, and the busiest lab if I recall correctly, Nick was a determined CSI, he has a wonderful heart, full of compassion, I see a lot of him in you by the way."
Julie smiled at that sentiment.
"Did you really let that tarantula escape in the lab?" she asked now, remembering Nick's horrifying tale of discovering the creature wandering the lab years later.
"That was an accident," Grissom corrected her but smiled at her interest in the story. "Does Nick still have him?"
"Yes but he's been adopted by Greg per my request," Julie informed him "he has visitations every time he visits Vegas."
"I bet you'd like bugs too if you just got to know them," Grissom encouraged her.
"Fat chance," she bit back, shuddering at the thought of the creepy crawlies but still happy that the critters were something Nick enjoyed and was knowledgeable about.
She stole a glance back at him as he slept, aided by the remaining drugs in his system, thinking to herself before turning back to Grissom and begging "Tell me another story"
Despite telling stories all night, Julie never fell asleep which had secretly been Grissom's hope for her. It was after seven in the morning now, the hospital was barely moving but a few nurses and late shift doctors were around. Julie had suppressed another yawn, rubbing her eyes, wanting so desperately to sleep but it eluded her. She was just about to reach for one of the snacks Grissom brought her when movement from the bed made her jump. Nick was awake, opening his eyes so suddenly it was as if an alarm went off.
"Jules," he called for her.
She launched herself at the bed, grabbing onto his hand and crying "I'm right here"
"Thank God," he sighed relieved "I tried to get to you, to tell you, something bad happened at work."
"I know," Julie cried "we know, you boss called me."
She was shaking again, enough that Nick noticed.
"What's wrong?" he asked her.
"You were-out," she tried to sum up his drug induced condition "they told me, two days before you'd wake up again, I thought I was going to lose you."
"No," he sighed, reaching out to brush her hair "baby I'm fine, stuff hurts like hell, but I'll be okay, I promise."
That wasn't enough for Julie. She pushed the call button attached to the wall and the on call doctor plus two nurses came in. They practically pushed her aside so they could look at Nick and make sure he was indeed better. Alone but hovering near the bed, she didn't know what to do until Grissom handed her the stuffed bear she had tossed aside moments ago. She hugged it harder against her chest, tears falling fast out of habit, the urge to scream again overwhelming her. When the nurses and doctor stepped aside at last, she dove back towards the bed, settling on it and reaching for Nick's hand to hold.
"Your vital signs look good," the doctor recited to Nick "I'd like to keep you at least for today just for observation, you'll be sore for a while so you should get some rest, at least a few days off work."
"Thanks doc," Nick said.
Once they had gone, Nick turned his attention back to Julie.
"Nice bear," he joked "where did you get it?"
"Grissom bought him for me," Julie explained happily, turning behind her to acknowledge him, but to her surprise he had vacated the room.
"Grissom?" Nick questioned her, confused for a moment.
"Yeah he's been here- he was here- all night with me, Sara and Russell too," Julie told him, still looking around the room for Grissom "I didn't even hear him leave, why would he do that?"
"He'll be back," Nick assured her, reaching out for her, wanting to hold her now.
With the reassurance that Nick was alive, awake and completely himself again aside from a few cuts and bruises, Julie could finally relax. Without even waiting for permission from the doctor, she crawled right into the bed with him, snuggling against him a bit gentler than she usually did, not wanting to hurt him. Nick smiled as he watched her settle, knowing she was exhausted. She kept one arm wrapped tightly around that bear, keeping it close to her, while draping her other arm lazily across his chest, her gentle way of protecting him. Sleep overwhelmed her within minutes.
After spending so much time under drug induced sleep, Nick did not feel tired at all. Instead he kept the TV on low volume while watching over Julie who slept curled up next to him for almost two whole hours now. From the bed, Nick could see people coming and going out in the hallway until someone actually stepped into the room. The familiar face made him smile as Grissom sat down in the chair beside the bed.
"Hey man, long time no see," Nick said quietly so as not to wake Julie.
"How are you feeling?" Grissom asked.
"Can't complain," Nick said glancing down at Julie asleep in his arms, his hand resting on top of her head, playing absentmindedly with her hair.
"Did Sara call you?" he asked now.
"She was already here," Grissom said "we had plans with the boat, it was Russell who called, he knew Julie was here alone so we all drove over as soon as we could."
"How was she?" Nick asked of Julie's emotional state during his ordeal.
"Devastated," Grissom summed up the entire last twenty four hours "I couldn't get her to eat or sleep, but we talked all night, I told her stories about the lab and you from over the years."
"Bet she loved that," Nick said, smiling at thoughts of Julie immersed in stories of their past.
"She's an absolute sweetheart," Grissom said, "she's crazy about you, but I guess that's how you ended up married isn't it?"
"Sara told you?" Nick asked, feeling guilty about the rushed wedding months ago.
"She showed me the pictures," Grissom said "you guys looked wonderful."
"We wanted to have everyone there," Nick explained "but it was so spontaneous, we just went with it."
Grissom held up his hand and said "It was your special day, you guys deserve the wedding of your dreams and you got it, that's what matters."
"I told her about dinner," Grissom said now "she says you never told her, why?"
"It's just rough to get time off," Nick said "and we try to cram so much stuff into short weekends like this, sometimes we can't get to everything." But dinner sounds great; I promise you we will be there."
"Good because I have plenty of stories to spoil her with," Grissom said, grinning.
They both focused on Julie now, and how peaceful she looked asleep, calm at last.
"She's something else," Grissom marveled of the woman Nick had fallen for, the one Sara chatted about as being one of the best friends she's ever had, the one who seemed to have the worst luck thrown at her but somehow she pushed forward, maintaining her innocence and compassion.
"Yeah I knew you guys would hit it off," Nick said, grateful for the way his old life had merged with his new life so wonderfully, "I can't thank you enough for keeping her sane during all this, she was all I could think about after it happened, and then stuff started spinning and I knew I was going to pass out but I had to get to her, thank God someone had the sense to call."
Grissom smiled, watching Julie move in her sleep and Nick soothe her by tightening his arms around her.
"That's what family is for," he reminded him.
A/N: One thing I have been fascinated with about this show was the all the potential dynamic left unseen between characters that never got a chance to meet or interact. In the instance of Julie Finlay, I feel that she would have done well in Grissom's company. I see a lot of her in the way he approached his field. At this stage in their lives, Grissom, who observed Nick from the very beginning, would know his struggle and be quite pleased to see him with Julie. Grissom would also find Julie's innocence fascinating from a scientific stand point and would find her playful nature unusual for a scientist. Julie on the other hand, has heard so many stories about Grissom from Nick and Sara and Greg and she would have been very excited to speak to him. In this story it is trauma that brings them together and allows Grissom to see Julie in her vulnerable state. His observations about her lead him to want to protect her for Nick's sake but also because he sees himself in her. It is almost like a parent/child dynamic that neither Grissom nor Julie is accustomed to but both find comfort in, during a difficult time. They are both connected by Vegas and Nick but also by their intelligence levels and love for their jobs.