Betty Cooper learned the hard way that playing Never Have I Ever with a group of "party gays" is a mistake.
Her night started out rather inconspicuously. She was invited to a sleepover at Veronica's spacious apartment, which of course just turned into a small house party. Honestly, after six years of friendship and sharing a dorm with V for two years, she really should have known. When they started college, Betty thought it was fitting that Veronica (moreso than any of the rest of them) ended back up in the City that Never Sleeps. More often than not Betty came home from a night of studying in the campus library to find her roommate with one of her many significant others and a group of a dozen or so of their friends partying with them. It made the tiny college dorms feel much, much smaller. Now that she lived on her own, any excuse was good enough to throw a party or celebrate. Betty thought it was, quite frankly, exhausting to attend so many festivities.
But V was her best friend, and there isn't much Betty wouldn't do for her. Besides, the night had certainly been a learning experience thus far.
The atmosphere at the beginning of the night was wonderful. It could have even began as a genuine sleepover, just Betty and Veronica and Kevin gossiping and marathonning Game of Thrones. Everything changed when V's phone interrupted Tyrion's awkward attempt at bonding with a thirty second clip of Cherry Bomb. She shot her guests an apologetic look before pausing the show and answering the call.
Within half an hour, Cheryl Blossom had turned their Thursday night into something a bit crazier. Cheyl, whom Veronica is "fucking and having brunch with, but notdating," came armed with a 30 pack of Bud Light, a large bottle of Strawberry Smirnoff, two dozen wine coolers, six pizzas, and Archie Andrews and Jughead Jones to carry everything. She also brought the news that Joaquin (Kevin's long-term boyfriend) and Valerie (Archie's girlfriend of the week) would be joining them shortly.
Once everything had been crammed onto the kitchen island, Betty greeted her boyfriend with a kiss. "I see you were kidnapped by Jessica Rabbit."
He slung an arm around her shoulder to pull her close and rolled his eyes. "More like bribed by and then blackmailed by Arch, if you can believe the injustice of it all. There I was, pining after my gorgeous girl but staying strong and working on my term paper, when bam! The door to my apartment is kicked in and I'm being forcibly dragged from my computer chair-"
"We get it, Prince Zuko, you'd rather be sulking in your room," Veronica quipped.
A crease formed between Betty's eyebrows as she frowned. "Does that make me Mai?"
Kevin scoffed, looking both offended and amused at the prospect. "Everyone knows he should have ended up with Katara, B. You're clearly her - motherly, overly optimistic, scary when angry."
With a solemn nod, Archie added, "Yeah, he's got you there, Betty."
"If you losers are done with the shipping analysis, I'm trying to get drunk before I'm thirty."
The party was in full swing when Joaquin arrived shortly after Val, wearing a leather jacket and the scent of motor oil. He grabbed a beer before planting himself on the arm of the couch next to his boyfriend. Cheryl had already called for three rounds of shots, and now everyone was drinking at their own pace. The large Bluetooth speakers in the living room were put to use while Val sipped a screwdriver. Meanwhile, Cheryl had challenged Archie to a game of beer pong. His girlfriend was content to DJ and Jughead declined to partner with his childhood friend, so he roped Kevin into being on his team. Veronica agreed to play and the game was under way. With only two cups missing from their side of the table, the hostess and her partner celebrated their win with a decidedly heated make out session that lasted a full five minutes.
Betty was happy to curl up on the couch with a Fuzzy Navel wine cooler and her boyfriend. While she wasn't much of a partier, it was nice to watch the others. She listened to Val and Jug talk about their recent great vinyl finds. Every once in a while, she would comment on an album. It was nice; she enjoyed the relaxed but fun ambience.
But of course, it didn't last. Cheryl had grown rather bored with winning at beer pong and there was only so much making out that could be done before it crossed from PDA to exhibitionism. So she suggested a game. (Betty tried not to shiver at the high school memories of games suggested by Cheryl Blossom.)
"Hey V, why don't we all play Never Have I Ever?" And the learning experience began.
The group formed a haphazard circle in the living room, occupying the classy leather sectional and plush rug around the glass coffee table.
A staple party game for staple party gays, Never Have I Ever was simple. Everyone started out with ten fingers. Someone makes a statement starting with, "Never have I ever..." such as, "Never have I ever been to traveled outside of the country." If another player has been to different country, they put a finger down. Optionally (unless Veronica is hosting - then it's mandatory), the game can be played with each member taking a shot or a drink when they have to put down a finger. When all their fingers are down, they've lost the game. The last person standing wins.
This is not solely a game about experience. This is a game about knowing everyone else's secrets and using them to win. It is a game of extortion, revenge, pettiness, and singling another player out. The more one player knows, the more they can use against someone else.
Veronica kicked it off with a smirk. "Never have I ever tried anal."
Cheryl and Kevin put a finger down with matching eyerolls. Joaquin smirked and followed suit. He looked a bit sheepish, but Archie (heteroromantic, but "fair game, sexually," as Cheryl once said) also joined in. V poured four shots, grinning wide as half the group made quick work of them.
Up next, Valerie confessed, "Never have I ever slept with a woman."
A loud chorus of groans and grumbles came after this, with everyone but Val, Betty, and Kevin losing a point and taking a drink.
"Never have I ever had a threesome!" Archie counters. This prompts Veronica, Cheryl, Kevin, and Val to drink.
With a devious smile, Joaquin turns to Archie. "Never have I ever walked in on my parents having sex."
"Ugh, dude, I'm never telling you anything again." The redhead grimaced and took shot. "That was uncalled for."
Jughead, looking a bit queasy, also drank.
Pulling her mouth away from Veronica's momentarily, Cheryl chuckled. "You must've been pretty young, Archiekins, since your mom left so long ago."
"Actually, Cher, it was like, six months ago when Jug and I went home for Thanksgiving."
"Ooh, and who is the lucky lady Papa Andrews was screwing, Arch?"
Instead of answering, he finished his beer and opened another one. Joaquin looked downright gleeful, answering, "Its not Fred who's doin' the screwin'..."
"Its my dad," Jug interrupted. "We walked into the living room of Archie's house and my dad was fucking his dad on the sofa. I stayed sit in the floor the whole damn week." He shot Archie a look of solidarity, clinked his bottle to the other man's, and they finished their drinks.
Kevin looked as if he'd been slapped and his boyfriend was on the ground, laughing and clutching his stomach. Betty hid a grin while rubbing Juggy's back. Her best friend and V's... Fuck buddy? Bed mate? were giggling and snorting into their daquiris.
The game went on.
"Never have I ever had sex in a public setting..."
"...been to a strip club..."
"...used anal beads..."
"...spanked my partner during sex..."
"...fucked in my parents' or sibling's bed..."
It continued in a similarly filthy fashion. Shots were taken, pizza was eaten, fingers were lost, and jokes were made. The longer the game went on, the more specific and creative the group had to be to get each other out. Kevin eventually prompted an argument with his, "Never have I ever sucked dick on a Tuesday while wearing cat ears."
And while Valerie groaned ("Really, bitch? Really? I know that's about me."), Betty watched as Archie scrolled through the calendar on his phone while looking thoughtful. She understood his preoccupation with anything but this game. So far, no one had managed to get her to drink and it made for a boring time. With all ten digits still in play, she was very much sober, watching everyone else creep closer to putting their hands down in defeat. It didn't feel like winning though; it felt like babysitting. Case in point: Kevin and Val had fallen into an easy exchange of insults while arguing if that was fair, since no one else had done it.
"Clearly," Valerie huffed, "I am the only person here who has ever sucked-"
And, in a perfectly normal and simply curious voice, Archie Andrews asked, "Does it count if it's a Snapchat filter?"
Betty wanted to die.
Veronica, Cheryl, and Kevin were officially #livingforthis. The two girls exchanged an absolutely filthy look that made Betty's skin crawl. Her boyfriend looked unsurprised but still found it funny enough to choke on his wine cooler. Kevin just gave Archie a very appraising look before turning to whisper tohisboyfriend (she didn't want to know specifics). Archie's date seemed to view him in a new light, likely surprised they had this in common.
A flurry of questions started up: "Who was it?" "Was it a picture or a video?" "Were you taking the Snapchat or was he?"
In the end, it was ruled that yes, it did count, and it was Joaquin's turn again.
"Hey guys, you know we haven't gotten Cooper over here to put down a single finger yet?" Val asked, running a hand high up her date's leg and looking lazily at the aforementioned blonde.
And suddenly, Betty wished she could go back to being bored and vaguely annoyed.
The group collectively turned their attention to her.
Joaquin appraised her for a moment, before breaking out into laughter. "Guys we've been doing this all wrong! Look at her fucking boyfriend! Never have I ever tied my boyfriend to the bed and fucked him in only a pair of heels. Drink, Betts."
The room quieted around her and Betty wanted nothing more than to hide her face in Jughead's shirt. But she didn't. "...Okay," she said, and drank.
The room went wild. "Betty!"
"You did what?"
"Damn, Jones, get it."
"I mean. If he's tied up, technically Betty is the one getting it..."
"First my dad, now this... I need a new brain, Val, mine can't take any more of this."
In the end, Betty did not win the game. She came in third. Cheryl was the first person out, quickly followed by Kev. V and Archie folded at the same time. Then Joaquin and Betty herself, leaving Valerie to take second place. Jughead was the last man standing with two digits left. By the time he was crowned (metaphorically, of course, he already had the beanie), their hostess and a certain Blossom were suspiciously absent, Arch was dozing on the rug with an empty pizza box as a cuddle buddy, and Kevin and Joaquin were dangerously close to christening bottle littered kitchen island. It was three in the morning and Betty wanted nothing more than to brush her teeth and crawl into bed.
Valerie began to attempt wrestling the pizza box away from her date and Jughead helped Betty to her feet. He slipped his leather jacket onto her shoulders. While heading towards the door, he gathered their things and called a car. They rode the elevator to the lobby in silence, Betty almost dozing on his shoulder for the minute it took before the doors opened again. Ever the gentleman, Jug opened the door for her when the Uber arrived.
He gave the driver the address and slip across the seat to sit closer to his girlfriend. With a glint in his eye, Jughead ran his hand high up Betty's thigh. She looked at him curiously, attempting to wake up.
"Never have I ever been so turned on after a party game," he whispered to her.
She looked up at him in the darkness of the car. His eyes were hooded and his pupils larger than normal. With a smile, she brushed his bangs from his forehead and kissed his cheek softly. "Never have I ever blindfolded you and made you beg, Juggy. But I think that's about to change."
Notes: This is inspired by @ Jaxxgarcia's amazing Snapchat story adventures, as seen on Tumblr. Thank you for reading; please let me know what you thought!