I'm scared. But, I don't know why. That scares me more. I try to recall what happened. We were walking home, Dave and I. It was late. Dave had taken us to a nice restaurant. It was nice out, so we were walking home in the setting summer sun. All of a sudden, there was this loud sound. I remember pain. It shot through me from four points, my shoulder, my leg, my side, and my neck. Now I'm scared. I'm confused and Dave is screaming beside me and when did I get on the ground. Dave was talking to me but I couldn't concentrate through the pain still emanating from those four spots. Then there were lights, flashing red and blue. Some weird part of my mind thought of Sollux. The rest of me was still confused as to what in the world was going on. Strange people picked me up and it hurt! It hurt so much. I think it was about then I passed out.
I wake up and I'm still confused, but not scared anymore. My brain feels foggy and I'm having trouble thinking straight. Once more, I try to recall what exactly happened. For some reason, all I can remember is walking home. That, pain, and fear. There are no specifics. I begin to wonder where Dave is. I look around but all I see is dark. It takes me a moment to realize my eyes are still shut. I open them slowly, for it feels as if they've been glued shut. Like how your eyes feel after a long nap. Once they're open, the first thing that registers is white. It's everywhere. Except for a splash of red to my right. Dave is sitting in a chair. He's holding my hand and leaning on the lumpy mattress I'm laying on. He's asleep and his shades have been removed revealing pale eyelids and dozens of freckles.
After staring at Dave for a little bit, other things begin registering in my still very foggy head. First, there's a constant beeping to my left. Also, some small stings in my arm. A glance at my left arm reveal a needle inserted into it. In fact, there are a couple of needles in my arm. Each is attached to a bag, hanging above me. I can't read them. In fact, everything is a little fuzzy. That is the next thing that registers. Where are my glasses. Oh, there they are, beside Dave's shades. But I can't reach them. My left is restricted by needles and my right is occupied by Dave. I don't want to disturb him since the bags under his eyes prove he hasn't been sleeping well. I wonder why. The fog persists, but I begin thinking. It doesn't take me long to figure out I'm in a hospital. Idly, I wonder why, before flashes from the last time I was awake flit through my head. Lights, strangers, pain. I can feel my heart start to beat faster at those little snippets of memory. The beeping speeds up and with it and someone bursts through the door to my room, startling Dave awake. The nurse glances at me before he begins tinkering with the machine. Dave watches him blearily for a moment before turning to look at me. Our eyes meet and it takes him a moment before he realizes I'm awake.
"Jo-ohn?" His voice breaks and something inside of me does too. Dave Strider never loses his cool. Never. Hey Dave. Nothing comes out. I clear my throat, ouch, and try again. Hey Dave? My eyes widen in surprise and I bring my hand, still linked with Dave's, to my throat. I can feel… bandages? I look back at Dave. What happened? He's giving me this sad, kind of pained look and I feel tears sting my eyes. Why can't I talk? "Sh, John. It's okay. You're gonna be okay." At the sound of his voice, his hand stroking my face, I begin to calm down. The nurse stops fiddling with the machine as my heart rate returns to normal. He smiles at Dave and he gives him a weary grin back. He quickly checks the rest of my vitals. He only talks once he's done.
"It's good to see you awake Mr. Egbert." What happened? I mouth the words and thankfully this person can apparently read lips. "Ah, I believe it will be best if I allow the doctor to explain. I'll go get him now." The nurse leaves and you return to looking at Dave. After a minute, he gives his trademark smirk.
"Dude nurses. Who'd a thought, heh?" I smile back at him, a full blown Egbert dorky grin. Dave cracks a real smile at that, which only makes me grin bigger. He always saves that smile. It's just for me and I love it. I love him. I love you. That sad, pained look is back, but he returns the sentiment, squeezing your hand lightly. "Love you too Egderp." If anyone else were to ever call me that, well, I wouldn't like it. Dave would probably strangle them for stealing his nickname, but I'm not really the violent type. Only if I'm really mad or hurt. Which reminds me, what the hell happened? The doctor finally comes in to explain, the nurse following behind and handing him the chart. The doctor flips through it briefly before looking at me.
"Well Mr. Egbert, it's good to see you awake." I was thinking of replying with a cheesy, 'good to be awake, doc' but I guess it wouldn't really work since I couldn't actually say it. Instead, I go for the question that has been burning in my mind since I woke up. What happened? I guess doc couldn't read lips. Nurse dude had to translate. "Well, how about we start with what you remember." You shake your head. Very little after walking home. Some lights, strangers, I grimace at the next word, pain. The nurse dude repeats it all and Dave grimaces beside you when he gets to the word pain. Doc just nods. "Well sir, according to the report, as you and Mr. Strider were walking home, you became the victim of some kind of drive by shooting. Police suspect you were the target for some reason since Mr. Strider was not hit at all. You were hit by four shots. Once in your left shoulder, once in your right leg, once in your left side and once in your neck. Mr. Strider called 911 and you were brought here. We preformed minor surgery to remove the bullets and you have been kept sedated and asleep for three days. Any questions?" Why can't I talk? "Ah, yes, well. Though the bullet to your throat managed to miss puncturing anything to create a fatal wound, it did tear your vagus nerve, which controls your voice box. The damage done was irreversible." Oh. So, I'm mute now? Forever? Doc nods. Interesting. This is really a lot to process, but before long, I smile again. But I'm alive. Doc smiles and nods after nurse dude translates. "That's the spirit Mr. Egbert! Now if you need anything, this is your nurse, Fredrick Armstrong. Thank God we had someone on our staff who could read lips." Nurse dude smiles at the compliment. "I'm your doctor, James Stagmier and I'll be in to check on you later tonight. Until then." Doc and nurse dude leave and Dave looks at you.
"You're really okay with this whole mute thing?" I shrug then wince cause, damn that hurts. Could be worse. I'm alive right. They didn't kill me. From the sounds of it, they easily could have. Dave drops his gaze and he looks upset. "Sorry dude, I can't read lips." I force his head up so our gazes meet again. then I smile and mouth really slow so he can understand. It's okay. I love you. He tears up a little and leans over the bed to hug me tight, and somewhat awkwardly, around the waist. "Love you too, John. So, so much." I reach my arm up and hug him back, inadvertently pulling him onto the bed with me. Neither of us really mind as I scoot over and Dave shares the bed with me. After all, even though we haven't 'done it' yet, we've been sharing a bed for months now. Ever since we got a dorm together, bedtime has been for warm snuggles and the comfort of another to keep some of the worse SBURB nightmares away. We liked it that way. So Dave cuddled with me on the lumpy hospital bed. After a few minutes, Dave fell asleep again. Nurse dude came in again, chuckling lightly at position, before inserting something into the IV needle.
"Pain killers. Do feel any." I shake my head and mouth, Not much. The killers are really doing there job cause I'm still trapped in this kind of foggy mind. It was clearing, but with the new add on, it thickened. I barely heard the door open and shut before I was out like a light.
"JOHN!" My ecto-sis, Jade was squealing in my ear. "We've been so worried about you. Dave's been keeping us posted and he said you woke up for a bit yesterday. Rose and me had to wait three days before we could get off work so we couldn't come right away. But we're here now and your awake and it's so good to see you." She's hugging me really tight around the shoulders and it kind of hurts, but I can't say anything. I look at Dave and he notices what's wrong.
"Careful, Jade. You're hurting him." Jade lets go immediately.
"Gosh, John, I'm sorry. Are you okay." For a minute, I forget I can't actually talk. I'm fine Jade. Don't sweat it. Jade looks at you sadly. "Oh, right, your voice." I sigh and motion to Dave for the whiteboard and marker nurse dude found I so you could talk to Dave since he couldn't read lips and neither of us knew sign language. He grabs it from where it fell under the bed when Jade tackle hugged me and I mouth to him thanks before writing out my message for Jade. She smiles at me and I grin back. Rose decides to make her presence known.
"How do you feel?" I'll be fine. "And, are you okay with this, being mute?" Could be a whole hell of a lot worse. Rose smiles. "You aren't an easy one to keep down, you know that?" I just pull out one of my trademark Egderp grins and before long everyone is smiling for a while, we seemed to forget I was in the hospital. We just visited and enjoyed each other's company. They spoke and I wrote and we laughed. Laughing was kind of weird. First, it hurt as my shoulder moved. Second, all that came out was this raspy sort of breath. We laughed less after that, but we still had fun, just enjoying each other's company. Around six, nurse dude brought me dinner, just soup since they had been tube feeding me for a few days and didn't want t upset my stomach. Rose and Jade left and Dave had to go down to the cafeteria and get his own food, which meant I was alone for a few minutes. I took the opportunity to asses myself.
My voice was gone, duh, and never coming back. There was a dull throb in my shoulder, side, and leg. It was easy not to think about. I could feel the tubes and wires extending from my arms and bladder. Those felt weird. Doc said they would send me to rehab in a couple of days, they wanted to make sure there were no complications from the surgery. Nothing like an infection or something. The bullet in my leg had imbedded itself in the bone, but hadn't broken it, which was good. The one to my side nicked a rib, also not to terrible, and the one to my shoulder missed the bones completely. They would all heal. The only one that had done any permanent damage was the one in my throat. The police had come by earlier in the morning to ask a few questions. So far, they had no leads. I didn't have any enemies that I knew of. Neither did Dave. No exes either since we had only ever dated each other. It was a baffling mystery to all of us. I continued contemplating these strangers until Dave came back. "Whatcha thinking about." The people who did this. Dave frowns. "Don't worry about them. That's the cops' jobs. You worry about getting better." You nod, thinking again. Dave, thanks. "For what?" Everything. For being here. For being patient. For helping me. Everything. He smiles softly. "Anything for you John. I love you." I mouthed the words I wished I could say. I love you too, Dave.
I was finally going home. After a week in the hospital and two in therapy getting my shoulder and leg to work right and weaning me off the pan killers, and I was finally going home. Dave was excited too. He couldn't stay with me in rehab. Starting tomorrow, Dave and I were both enrolled in a class to learn sign language. Starting tomorrow, I would learn to speak again. But tonight, tonight would about getting used to being home, spending time with each other, and cuddling. Lots of cuddling. We got back to our dorm around six. We had gone to Taco Bell and I was glad Dave didn't need to ask what I wanted. "Why don't you go find some movies to watch." I grinned and immediately grabbed Con Air off the meticulously organized shelf. I also grabbed Signs cause Dave liked it and a 21 Jump Street cause neither of us would want to mix Signs with the normal post-game nightmares. Sometimes, it's tempting to seek help for those nightmares, but if any of us tried to explain the game to people, we'd all probably end up in a mental ward. So we dealt with them on our own. We ate our dinner, delicious after what they gave you at rehab, and settled in for a movie night. It wasn't long before cuddles ensued.
The movies were over and we were both tired, but apparently Dave had something important on his mind. "Hey John?" I looked at him, giving him my full attention. "I have something I wanted to ask you. Actually, I wanted to ask you three weeks ago, but then…" he trailed off and I admit, I was more than a little curious. He shook his head and continued. "I love you John. More than anything. I want to hold you and cuddle with you and protect you and never let you go. You held me together after the game ended and we came home. You have no idea how close I was to breaking. So I wanted to ask you," He blushed bright red. He took off his shades and got off the couch. Then, he reached into his back pocket and suddenly he was on his knee in front of me and, "Will you marry me?" He looked at me, eyes open to see the emotion swimming in deep red pools. They were gentle and loving and nervous, but he had nothing to be nervous about because I tackled him to the floor and kissed him and I was crying because never before had I wanted to say yes, I love you, so badly, but I couldn't. "Shit, John, what's wrong." I look at him and I am so sad because I want to do is say yes. I want him to hear the word. But I can't he never will all because of a stranger with a gun. "John? John! C'mon, look at me. Tell me what's wrong." And I want to so bad, but I can't and, dammit why is this mute thing just now hitting me. I can't help but cry harder as silent sobs wrack my body and Dave grabs my whiteboard and marker. My writing is sloppy as I try to see through the tears. I want to say yes. "But…" He seems sad and I know he misunderstood cause he looks heartbroken, so I try again. I want to SAY it. I want you to hear me say it, but I can't and you never will. I can't say yes because I can't say anything! I know he understands this time cause he's holding me and comforting me, rocking me in his strong, warm arms. "John. It's okay. Sh. It's okay." Three weeks. This happened three weeks ago. Now, I'm better and the wounds are only a little sore, but my voice is never coming back and it waited three weeks before it really hit me. It waited until I was the happiest person in the universe before it decided to tear m up. "John, don't cry. It's okay. I don't have to hear it cause as long as you tell me, no matter how you tell me, as long as it's from you, I'll be the happiest person in the world. So it's okay. It's gonna be okay cause I'm gonna make it okay." I admit, his presence was so comforting. It took some time, about half an hour, but I calmed down. Now I was even more tired than before. At some point, Dave had moved us to our bed and we were both close to drifting to sleep, but I had something I needed Dave to know. So I got up and retrieved my whiteboard and marker and sat back down with Dave. He watched me write. Thanks, Dave. I don't know why this whole mute thing waited till just now to really hit me. "It's okay. It was bound to happen eventually. Rose warned me back at the hospital." Huh, well, that's Rose for you. And Dave, "Yeah?" Of course I'll marry you. I look up at his warm, gentle eyes, the ones he hides behind shades I gave him for his thirteenth birthday, ones he really only ever shows me, and he's smiling too, another thing he reserves just for me. His beautiful eyes and beautiful smile, he keeps just for me. He pulls the ring back from his back pocket and slips it on my finger. I love you, Dave."I love you, too, Egderp"
Author's Note: As promised Lacila, here is your mute!john dave fic. Probably finished, but I do have a few more ideas for this. Just a few short things I could add if anyone wants them. Otherwise, hope you enjoyed. Until next time,
Carida^^