"I've finished repairing the ship, sir."
Kif emerged from the engine room, covered in grease and clearly annoyed.
"Ah, yes," said Zapp. "Didn't it get damaged when I fought those giant space jackalopes?"
"They weren't jackalopes," sighed Kif, "they were marshmallow bunnies."
"Nonsense! The Nimbus cannot be harmed by marshmallows of ANY kind!"
"They exploded when you stuck them in the microwave, sir."
"Whatever. I'll be in my bedroom. Kif, come with me."
Kif raised a nonexistent eyebrow.
"Are you hitting on me?" he asked.
"Of course not. Now come with me to my…sanctum."
And so the two went to Zapp's lavish bedroom. Zapp lay down on his heart-shaped hoverbed.
"Ahh," he sighed happily, "my sanctuary on this celestial vessel. Hey, Kif, remember the subterranean worm people of Mudlon 5?"
"I'd rather not," Kif grumbled.
"They deified me on account of my incredible humility," said Zapp, extremely proud of himself.
Kif rolled his eyes.
"Oh! And that time I had you exhume my dead hamster!"
"Why did you make me do that, anyway?"
"I 'unno…oh, and the Astronomical Sanction! The one—"
"Ordering that those aforementioned worm people add you to their pantheon?"
"No, that was the Deity Sanction."
"Then what was this one about?"
Zapp thought. This was a first for him.
"…I forgot."
Kif, frustrated, began banging his head against the wall, as Zapp described in detail how he'd banged Leela.
For the millionth time.