The Days Long Past
A/N- Okay…. Let's think… My story is so far unwritten… and this is my before writing story author's note… I Am your beloved host SeddieDestiny… but you can call me Maha…
As you probably have guessed this will be a R/ade…
The reason for it to be a R/ade is because I have a connection with Robbie… and Jade is probably one of the most sexiest chicks on Victorious… like seriously… Goth… HELLOOOOO…. Who wouldn't want her…? A gay guy that's who…(no offence to any)
I am writing a R/ade because right now I am in the midst's of being alone… without a true best friend and without a girlfriend for about 4 years… so… yeah…. More info than needed…
But now you understand why I have a connection with Robbie…
I've read two other Rade stories start to finish in the past 3 days… and the pairing just tugged at the reason I got into fan fiction in the first place…
Its just a feeling of two complete polar opposites…
First was Freddie and Sam in ICarly…
Then it was (incest, I know) Justin and Alex from Wizards of Waverly Place…
And now… its hits me so hard… now its Robbie and Jade…
You probably see it as well…
Its just… love…
That unending, unfathomable, awinspiring love…
It's the love where you just want to cry because of how much you wish you had something like that…
So for you to understand my views on this, I am Robbie… so think of it as I'm writing this from my own life put into his… im keeping with the victorious life but I just find a closeness with the Robbie character… and Rex if you consider him a part of it…
(Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious… Charlie Sheen does… whoops wrong person… god man Dan Shneider does… he created Kenan and Kel, Icarly, and Victorious as far as I know… so he MADE nickelodeon what it is today… he made us ALLLLLL…. That is why he is god…)
And by the by… if I see any of the M rated Rade writers… WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP MAKING CAT THE BAD GIRL(bad girll…. Hmmm) seriously… she's insane… she doesn't even know what she's doing half the time… but they keep making her out to be the evil mastermind… think of her like a puppet… outside of theater, she's useless… that's why she's such a good actress…
Sorry… im being stupid… without further miracles and magic…
Here is…
"The Days Long Past- Chapter One"
à
Chapter One: "I'm a Mistake…"
-Break-Break-
'Why does she do this to me… what did I ever do to her… when will life be kind to me for once…?'
There I stood… half naked… being photographed; pictures soon to be blackmailed against me later. I was embarrassed, yes…but to be embarrassed by my own friends… but I did have it coming… I embarrassed them… on the world wide web…
As the group finished there barrage of scantily clad photos of me in just a towel… I tried to suck it up and hold my head high. But none were going to leave me in a prideful state of mind. As I watched the two girls come up to me, the brunette Latina and the black-haired goth held up a camera and bid their farewells and a nice signature…
"This is Tori Vega and Jade West… and you just saw a segment of…" Tori stated proudly… followed by an in unison…
"Robarazzi!" Tori and Jade laughed at my shame. Trying to regain any strength in my pride I walked away. Sadly, not before a harsh student ran by and yanked my towel away from me…
'I'm going to go kill myself now…' I said in my head… but I think that I also said it out loud… as Tori and Jade watched their plan grow a thousand times worse…
And to make matters even worse…
BRNGGGGGG the bell…
Kids from eight different hallways exited their classrooms and met in the middle of the school to find me… full naked…
To say I was captured in photos put it mildly… I was caught on camera, people took pictures of me and other things I truly do no want to explain right now…
Before I knew it, my private parts became a laughing stock of the entire school… So I ran… I ran down hallways and anywhere I could get to where I would be met with some solidarity… I deserved it… I made fun of my friends… so why shouldn't they get back at me…
As I was running I found myself caught… there was no place to go… so I decided to head for the exit… but there was only one exit… where it all began… so I had to backtrack… I ran back down hallways… through corridors and under archways until…
BAM
I hit someone dead on…
This got exponentially worse… my vision was blurred and I couldn't move… I pushed myself onto my arms and shook my head back and forth to regain my vision… Everything was dark for a second… I feared I went blind… but as the haze cleared… I learned who I ran into… and that darkness was not me going blind… but the dark frazzled hair of none other than…
"Robbie… umm… can you get off of me?…" Jade spoke silently, almost moaning it…
Her voice made the hairs on my neck stand on end… and the way she said my name made my blood rush at speeds that could have broke out of my skin.
I pushed myself up more before… it hit me… I gulped down and looked around not wanting to get up in fear of what would come to light…
My eyes widened as I looked for an escape to make sure she wouldn't see… but there was none…
"Robbie… could you get off… NOW!" Jade demanded…
"Umm…. Could you give me a second…" I stammered…
"For what… for your clothes to magically appear on you body…?" she stated before she noticed something was poking at her sweet spot… she moaned slightly as she gripped her eyes tight… She slightly opened her eyes before looking down… "Is that… what I think it is…?"
"Umm…. Uuhhhhhh…." my heart beat was wild and my chest felt like I had an elephant stand on it…
"Ohh Robbie… Do I make you horny?…" she said seductively before she started laughing at me.
I rolled over and began running down the halls before she grabbed my leg… in that one instant, she reached in her pocket, grabbed her phone and took a picture… I looked down at her a little curious as to what she'd do with that…
"I'm gunna save that…" she bit her lip as she waved me goodbye…
My mind was overflowing with thoughts of what she was going to do with it… but hopefully that would be the only picture of my 'privates' in full bloom.
When I finally reached my car… I jumped in like Jessica Alba when she jumped into the car in Good Luck Chuck… I floored my car until something made everything even worse… my car broke down…
"OF ALL DAYS!" I yelled. "That's it… I'm selling you, Jade…" (A/N- sorry didn't mean to interrupt but Jade is also the name of his car… you know how us guys love naming our motor vehicles… and the reason it's jade… because he wants to well for lack of a better word… "Ride" her… control and all… sorry…. Back to the story)
Trying to figure out something to do… I felt a hand on my shoulder… it was Jade… I must have been moping in my car for awhile for Jade to have made it all the way down in that small of a timeframe…
"Come on, I'll give you a ride… my dad has extra clothes and I don't live very far away…" Jade glanced around, the sun making it's solemn duty to cover half her face in light. She was glancing to make sure no one could see her being nice to me…
She drove a large black Hummer with purple stripings… As we drove to Jade's house, several times had I caught her checking out my 'package'…
So when I caught her glancing for a little too long that we almost got into a car accident I told her…
"Take a picture… it'll last longer…"
Without missing a beat she replied… "I already did… it's my phone's background…"
"That's just… not right…" I retorted…
"Oh you know you like it… not much you can hide from me… at least not now anyways…" she was right…
I was naked in her car… and she had me anyway she wanted me…
The fact of the matter was… that this was slightly turning on a bit… too bad my instincts were a little too quick on the trigger…
"Yepp… I knew you'd like it…" as she stared at my elongating… "text message"…
I tried to get into a position where she wouldn't see it… but in any case she saw something of me I didn't want her to see… so I just laid back and let it all hang out, so to speak…
à
'He looks sooo…. Ergh… I just wanna… uhhh…
God… why is monogamy so god damn hard… hard… nice word… fits well for the moment…
I can not stop glaring at his nice long… 'Focus Jade, Focus, he's a nerd, you are with Beck… but even for a nerd that's one big… FOCUS! Get your mind off it… red car… black car… Mercedes… Blue BMW… blue balls… big massive woody… FUCKKK!'
I yell at myself before ramming the car off the road and screeching to a halt.
I jump out of the car and slam the door and walk to the front of the car… I begin muttering to myself…
"He's a nerd… you are with Beck… He's schizophrenic… you're sane… slightly… he's a jew… and you're… extremely horny…" my lips begin to tingle as my mind flashes in more ways than one to the past hour of multiple occurrences…
"When was the last time you and Beck had your together time… like one week… so much can happen in a week… maybe I can use him… no… you are a devoted lover… lover…" I look at Robbie through the windshield… He's staring at me… the sun setting behind me… I stare at the sunset… The colors that it makes on the sky… purple, green, orange, red, yellow, blue… then I hear a screeching sound of birds flying by…(A/N- To give a sense of what it looks like… watch the movie 5 centimeters per second, second story, during the dream sequence….it's actually where the idea or this part came from…)
I look back at Robbie, still staring at me… he looks down… then looks around… the wind blows my hair… and I push my hair back behind my ear…
I sit on the grass in front of my vehicle… and I stare at the diminishing sunset… I hear the car door open and slam shut…
"Jade…" he speaks… and all I feel is just… emptyness…
Tears well in my eyes as I realize… I'm not complete right now…
"Don't… I don't want you to say anything…" I try to tell him with a demanding tone but all I can pull out of me is want and desire…
He walks forward to the front of the car and tries to hide his 'package' but with a friend that big, it's impossible… I tell him to sit down next to me…
As the sun sets, and he is sitting so far away from me afraid to show his member again… I feel a little more complete…
I scoot over towards him and I stare at his face… he turns his head…
"What?…" he has a slight fear in his eyes… and his lips are trembling…
I move my hand to his face, and cup his cheek… his head tilts and leans into my warm hand… his eyes close as he most likely commits this touch to memory…
"Jade… I… I don't want to destroy you and Beck's relationship…" he whispered…
"Our relationship has been dead for months… we just stay together because we know that we'd be damaged beyond repair if we tried to go with anyone else… I'm a bitch… and you don't know this but Beck is a narcissist. How do you think he keeps his hair like that?… Four hours every morning…" we both chuckle softly.
"Jade… you are not a bitch… you just push too much… and everyone you push away just gives up on you… and you become lonely… but why have you not pushed me… you push Tori, Beck, Andre, and even Cat… but when it comes to me you lighten the blows." the truth was coming out.
"When it comes to you Robbie… you are the only one I find myself getting weak-kneed around… the only one I find myself wishing I never hurt to much… because I know how easily you can break… how much that would hurt if I saw it… so I try to push your boundaries ever so slightly to get you to build up the armor… so when someone worse comes along, you can tear them down worse than how they tore you down… Robbie… I can't get you off my mind… ever since the day you and Trina stage kissed and then the following Cat kiss… I had the most ferocious feelings of jealousy that when I saw it, I ran to the bathroom and broke every mirror…" I spilled my guts…
"So many times have I found myself getting angry that you never notice me that way… the way you look at Cat… or the way you look at Trina… or even the way you look at Tori… even Beck looks at Tori… so to know that a new girl is taking away the guy I have developed such a desire to be with just causes my world to come crashing down…" I began to cry… tears fell like bombs on Pearl Harbor…
"Jade… please don't cry…" Robbie's voice felt like a knife was tracing it's way up my arms and down my back…
"Robbie… I don't want to lose you… I won't… I can't… You are everything to me… and I Lo-"
In that instant, Robbie gripped my head with both of his hands and pulled me into a kiss with him… he bit my lip begging for entrance, and I allowed him in invitingly… Before my tongue could leap into his mouth, his tongue beat me to it. He pushed into mine and tasted every inch of my mouth… from my tongue to my cheeks, even to the roof of my mouth… I could only describe it as a tagger running around spray painting… "Robbie was Here!"
His taste was that of lemons and salt… I wondered why salt… then I understood… that it was his tears… his and mine…
He tried to pull away but I wasn't done… I pushed him on his back and grabbed as much as I could from him… I didn't know when I'd be able to do this again… and I feared I wouldn't ever be able to…
Suddenly… without cause… he pushed me off of him… Gasping for air… almost hyperventilating… I was as well but it wasn't as dramatic as his… He looked at me in anger but then he jumped right back onto me… Now he was on top and I felt that twinge in my stomach that I felt earlier…
"arhhh…" I moaned slightly… as I squinted…
"Does little Jadey not like that…?" he smirked…
He was pretty mean when it came to teasing me… I guess that's a perk to having him…
For the next couple of minutes, he made it his job to make me squirm for his teasing… to make me moan louder than the moan before… and to make me ache…
That hole was no longer… there…
It was him… he filled that void… that emptiness I had inside of me…
At my boiling point… the point when I couldn't take anymore… I begged and pleaded for him… for him to do it… that hole inside me need to be filled… it couldn't remain at half mast…
"I can't… Jade… I'm nothing more than a mistake… by tomorrow you'll forget that you even had feelings for me… this is just because you want to help the stray puppy… by tomorrow you'll return to Beck and we'll be back to where we were… you with Beck and me… lonely… like I'll always be…" I didn't want to accept that there might have been truth in his statement…
"You may be a mistake… but trust me when I say… right now… we can never go back to how we were…" He stands up and glares down at me… I get up to get some control for the situation…
"I love you Robbie… you are the only one who can fill this hole I have inside of me… and with the picture I have that shows your true feelings for me… I know you love me as well…" I open my phone… and look at the background…
"I might love you Jade… I might have loved you since we met… but you don't love me like I do you… I know that… because there is no way you could…" He looked at the ending of the sunset and in one minute, it was as black as shadows in the night.
When he looked back at me, I tackled him slightly… I forced him to kiss me while I stroked his member… As I pulled away I bit his bottom lip and brought it with me before letting it go and making it snap back… My hand was on his throbbing member before I soon let my hand free it from my grasp…
"Oh really… I will always love you Robbie… time may pass… but I will still love you…" I watched as a tear fell down his cheek.
I turned around and tried to straighten myself up by wiping my face of my own tears…
"Come on… School has ended a long while ago… I got to get you home…" I stuttered slightly… laughing inappropriately.
We both returned to the car and I began driving to Robbie's home… We barely said two more words or exchanged a single glance at each other…
When I arrived at his home, he slowly opened the door, and before he got out, he looked at me… no words were spoken… no words were needed to… As he walked into his home… I broke down… I just started sobbing in my seat… I punched the dashboard before bashing my head into the steering wheel. I scoffed as hard as I could and tried to beat my tears back with a mental stick…
à
I leaned against the door, trying not to cry… trying to keep a piece of me unbroken by Jade's words… Jade wanted everything from me… she wanted me… but I couldn't give her me… I couldn't even give her happiness… maybe I should kill myself… the one girl that is head over her fucking heels in love with me and I couldn't give her a piece of me…
I'm truly worthless…
The house was empty… it's always empty… it's as empty as the life I live… no wonder Rex came along… I got up and trudged up the steps to my room…
I opened the purple and black striped door to reveal a billion pictures… artist drawings… all of the same one girl… the one… dark-haired… black eye shadow… goth… that I have the slightest obsession on… This room is filled with that one big secret…
The one big secret that would truly kill me if said aloud… No one must ever enter this room… it's my solemn rule… the only thing I must guard with my life… It's a curse… But to be surrounded by Jade… it's my own little heaven… I know if she saw any of this… she'd realize how right I was… she could never love me like I do her…
Its impossible…
à
I open my purple and black striped door…
I reveal a nice little room… posters of bands I love… Cuddlefish… Leaping Lemurs… and Panic! There's a Fire!… I walk over to my dresser… I open the top drawer to reveal my underwear… many are dark thongs and some are frilly… I open the second drawer… shirts… mostly black but theres that one shirt that just reminds me of a moment… a moment when I was normal… a moment before all this… before Tori… before Beck…
The moment when I became goth… but then I throw that memory away… "I NEVER want to remember that again… way too… yea…"
I open the next drawer, pant's… goth pants and tight jeans… I stick my hand underneath the outcove… and under the previous drawer… I pull out the book I hid under it…
My diary…
Well more like my notepad of artist drawings…
I open up to the first page…
Robbie…
Next page…
Robbie but more of him…
Next page…
Robbie but it's a torso shot…
Next page…
Robbie but it's missing a single spot in his anatomy…
I pull out my phone and open it…
I look at the picture and begin doing the finishing details on the picture…
The abs I saw on him…
His package…
And all those little marks on his body…
His blemishes…
The mole on left thigh…
Even the small little scratch on his arm from the hospital… WAIT… he's never been to the hospital…
Stupid me… I laugh at myself… (A/N- if any of y'all caught that, this is before he got that car surgically took out of him…)
I loved every spec of him… from the smallest to the… longest… erhm…
I scurried over to my bed and jumped on it… I pulled the phone up to me… and took a nice long look at the picture I captured about three hours ago… I began searching my phone for other photos… til I found one… of Beck and I… Beck… I forgot about him…
Maybe Robbie was a mistake… maybe this is all nothing… maybe this is just a teen girls fantasy…
NO!… I love Robbie… No matter what happens, that hole will remain inside of me until I have Robbie forever… until Robbie is mine… I can never be complete… never…
è
I love Jade so much… but if she were here… she'd be so scared of me… I am me and I am afraid of myself right now…
I'm obsessed with her… with Jade…
I just wish she was obsessed with me…
-Break-Break-
A/N- Drama drama de drama… this is life of the polar opposites…
I know it sucks… I know it is probably the worse thing you've ever read…
But could you give me reviews…
I know I suck at this… I'm trying…
If you want to know, I put Robbie as an obsessed boy because im a slightly obsessed guy… and I wanted to give him my actions… I'm not sure how this story will go…
I wanted a straight to dvd porn but what I got was an obsessed romance…
If you want more… ask… cuz I don't know how this one played out for me…
I'm kinda unsure if you guys will even like it…
Im kinda getting that feeling im not gunna get many reviews for this…
Well this is SeddieDestiny, or Maha saying goodbye…