Of Horses and Men, an ouran high school host club fanfic

Of Horses and Men

Kyouya frowned at the sudden turn of events and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose irritably. Mori was without a partner and the tall senior looked even particularly lonely without his much smaller cousin propped up on his shoulder. Kyouya sighed when Tamaki asked Mori where exactly Hani had disappeared to.

"Mitsukuni is ill," he replied, direct and to the point rather blankly, looking down at the slightly shorter blonde man.

Tamaki sniffled and went into easy dramatics, "Oh pity poor Mori-senpai for he is without Hani-senpai. How cold and distraught he must feel – lonesome, wandering man!"

Hikaru and Kaoru looked over at their lord with similar blank looks of that to Mori's before they leaned over to Kyouya. "So…" started Hikaru.

"Who'll be with Mori-senpai?" finished Kaoru with similar cat grins.

Kyouya slumped and sighed, calculating steel eyes flitting to and fro. "Haruhi," aforementioned member looked over at the shadow king with hesitant eyes.

"Yes Kyouya-senpai?"

"You'll be accompanying Mori-senpai for today, and until Hani-senpai is feeling up to par, you'll also be taking on Hani-senpai's usual clients and you must keep them perfectly happy." Haruhi twitched at the underlying threat of a heftier debt fell upon her like a sack of potatoes slapped over her head.

"Yes sir…" Haruhi muttered, adding the words 'slave driver' in her mind. She didn't trust herself to say it aloud because Kyouya had super hearing when it came to him, money or interesting things.

A large hand came down on the top of her head and Haruhi looked up, blinking. Mori stood over her, dark grey eyes nearly impassive but Haruhi, being ever observant saw tidbits of loneliness and even relief. She also noted that Mori didn't look nearly as uncomfortable or tense as he had before.

Haruhi blinked up at him and smiled, straightening her blue jacket a tad. "Okay."

The sensation of being lifted so easily was stomach curdling and even dizzying, feeling like a child. Haruhi reasoned that this was probably why Hani liked to be carried around so much. Haruhi was set upon a broad shoulder with Mori's left arm supporting her, holding onto her knee firmly. Being carried on Mori like this was like riding a horse.

"Is my daughter comfortable?" Tamaki's voice lilted through and the blonde, violet eyed man had his hands clasped together as though it prayer.

Haruhi glared, "I don't have two fathers." The glare was much more effective when she was at this height and Haruhi duly noted that fact for later uses.

Tamaki sniffled again and big fat crocodile tears dropped from his eyes, "Haruhi, my beloved daughter wouldn't you rather sit on papa's shoulder instead of that strange man?"

Haruhi's voice, unlike Tamaki's soulful and sincere one, was flat and rather cold. "No. You're an explicit pervert and Mori-senpai is not a stranger and is more honorable."

Tamaki, needless to say fled to Mother crying about such a foul mouthed daughter. Kyouya pushed Tamaki to the ground and off his person to readjust his glasses. "Time to open up the Host Club," he had to raise his voice over Tamaki's loud wailing and whining.

"So you're Mori-senpai's partner until Hani-san is better?"

Haruhi nodded at the young girl in her yellow dress, "Yes, Hani-senpai came down with the flu unexpectedly and Mori came today…"

Expectedly, girls flocked around the odd pair of Mori and Haruhi – the 'wild' and the 'natural' drawing more attention than an exhibition of the bubble boy would have brought. Curious eyes of clients from even the incestuous twins, the half French prince and the charming shadow king, wandered over to cast small glances at the newest pair, from pure curiosity and the newness it brought.

Pitying cries and coos from the girls erupted after Haruhi finished her monologue, patting Mori's arm and piling up sandwiches on the tray before him, along with 'Get well' sweets and elaborate health cards for Hani.

Mori looked distant even as he nodded and agreed with the girls, or patiently listened to their day. Haruhi patted his arm. Mori looked down at Haruhi and blinked once, "Mori-senpai, would you like some tea? It's jasmine."

Mori nodded once and absently patted Haruhi on her head before he turned back to his customers. Haruhi smiled brightly at Mori, and the exchange between the two brought up a chorus of loud giggles and exclamations such as, "Haruhi is a new lovely item!" or "Mori-senpai was drawn in by Haruhi's courteous concern!" and quite a lot of momentary fainting from the rare moment.

From across the room, a flash came and Haruhi paused in her action of pouring the hot jasmine tea from its decorative Chinese teapot into the cups around the coffee table. Then she frowned. Kyouya had obvious taken advantage of the moments between Mori for later sales.

The girls chatted quietly amongst themselves and then to Haruhi and Mori. "Is…there a possibility…of reserving the two of you as our hosts?" one bold girl with long curly black hair asked, albeit shyly and red faced.

Haruhi blinked and Mori just sat there, not blinking but equally deadpan as Haruhi. "You mean, together? Like Mori-senpai's and Hani-senpai's clients?" the girl nodded and looked faint. Haruhi blinked again. "I…I don't know."

A lingering shadow of doom appeared over Haruhi as Kyouya blocked out the sunlight coming from yonder window behind her and a chill crept over the back of her neck. She went stiff and curled closer to Mori's side out of self-preservation instinct. Mori put a large hand on Haruhi's shoulder, warm and steady.

"But of course it's an option, lovely ladies. Which one of you would like to reserve the wild and natural type, then?" pen, notepad and clipboard at the ready with a winning businessman's smile, Kyouya approached his victims like an eagle eyed vulture.

Three of the girls before Haruhi and Mori murmured amongst each other before giving their names one by one to Kyouya who noted it.

"Kyouya-senpai"- Haruhi made to protest out of the fact that Mori-senpai was always with Hani-senpai and she didn't want to be the disrupter of their lives ultimately.

Kyouya's glasses cast an odd and eerie light from the light, but Haruhi could still see the grayish-violet hues of his irises and how they darkened threateningly.

Haruhi sunk back into Mori without another word who wordlessly patted her head comfortingly again. Kyouya smiled suddenly at the girls who giggled and sent another arctic-like stare over at Haruhi and Mori.

Haruhi's left eye twitched at the shadow king's deliberate moves. It was now understandable that instead of just allowing Mori to work by his lonesome, he wanted to see if he could rake in more customers with a refreshing change and combo of 'wild and natural'. It had been a test, an experiment for money grabbing.

Haruhi's head dropped in exasperation and she knew by doing a few calculations in her head that these customers would not count to her debt seeing as they were hers and Mori's, not just hers. Kyouya…was evil and precise like that…

A small green lined with gold painted thread plate was shoved under her nose and she saw fatty tuna and juicy salmon sushi on it. Her stomach grumbled a little.

She looked up and saw Mori's steely grey-blue eyes staring at her patiently. The proffered plate was still staying steady beneath her nose. She smiled at Mori's attempt to comfort her rain clouds.

"Thank you, Mori-senpai." She took the plate from him and a flash from behind made the smile freeze only momentarily. Doomed rain clouds came back before a tuna sushi pinched between a large thumb and index finger forced their way into Haruhi's mouth. The appendages extracted themselves before Haruhi bit down and chewed with a delicate sigh. Mori blinked and Haruhi smiled, but politely so as she was still chewing. The girls sighed and giggled, red faced and another flash went off in the background, but Haruhi paid it no mind.

Mori gave a small, wordless smile back before turning his attention to their customers.

Kyouya looked happy, extremely happy…in an unholy antichrist sort of way. He was smiling at the entire Host Club, which as a whole felt an omen nip like a chilled winter wind at their necks and ears and insides. Kyouya had the power to do multiple things to a body involuntarily after all.

Haruhi twitched as she was used the living meat shield for not only Tamaki, world renowned Kyouya-fearer, but also for the devilish twins who feared any sort of out of place reaction from the frightening Mother. Mori stood silently by, looking doubtlessly unnerved but brave enough to stand on his own without whimpering or hiding behind the club's shortest member. Haruhi, instinctively after the Kyouya incident yesterday, latched onto the cuff of his jacket.

"Why do you all look like something dreadful is coming?" Kyouya's light voice only ceased the twin's whimpering into that they curled up against Haruhi's back more forcefully and Tamaki began to wail and cry. Haruhi began edging behind the taller form of Mori. Kyouya's smile didn't even damper.

Mori's brow twitched slightly but other than that there was no movement from the tall senior. Kyouya sighed and smiled, "Our sales went up fifteen percent thanks to Mori-senpai's and Haruhi's joint tasking yesterday, and Hani-senpai's usual crowd had been delighted in such a change where they were free to tour or join other groups from the other hosts as well."

Tamaki gathered enough courage to peek around Haruhi's hair which he'd purposely fanned out as a sort of shield/curtain. "You're not mad then Mother?"

Kyouya laughed a little and pushed his glasses back up, "I'm actually quite pleased."

Immediately Tamaki came out of hiding and flounced over to Kyouya who didn't bother shoving Tamaki's arm off his shoulder where it landed and the blonde prince leaned into the shadow king, laughing joyously. "Well then! Perhaps as a more refreshing change, Haruhi should be paired with myself?" he leaned his face towards Kyouya's with large, watery eyes.

With a smile on his face, Kyouya replied, "Absolutely not."

Tamaki staggered a little from the blunt force of the rejection.

The twins, seizing a prime opportunity snaked their arms around Haruhi and blocked any means of escape from them. They'd wrapped themselves around her like a pair of stubborn octopuses but with similar antagonizing grins on their catlike faces. "Ne, Kyouya-senpai…" Hikaru began with a teasing gleam in an amber eye when Tamaki opened his mouth to rant at them for touching his daughter.

"Can Haruhi have a 'joint task' with us?" they chorused and Haruhi began trying to wriggle from their clutches.

The smile still in place on Kyouya's face, another rejection was handed out, "Of course not. Haruhi will remain with Mori-senpai and continue to raise our sales with wonderful photographs."

In response the twins didn't tighten nor loosen their grip on Haruhi who was still struggling between them vainly, but they did assume similar pouts and faint whining. "Why not?" the whine was chorused between the downtrodden twins.

Kyouya coughed lightly, still smiling a little before going on to explain. "With the twin's style of incestuous manner and forbidden love, where would Haruhi complete the equation other than an overused love triangle which would put off many of Hikaru's and Kaoru's customers. She can't possibly be paired with Tamaki because the customers would get to have none of Tamaki's time seeing as he'd be much too focused on Haruhi to paid them any real mind." He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

There was silence before Haruhi, now being constricted by the long arms of the twins who were reluctant to let her escape, gasped out, "Mori-senpai!" in a squeaky voice, fingers wiggling in the air at him.

The twins grasped only each other and thin air when Mori strolled over and easily lifted Haruhi above their heads and settled her on his shoulder. Keeping her forearm on top of his head and keeping her legs close together in order to remain balanced, she settled in as the 'refreshingly natural lovely item' with Mori's hand on her knee to prevent her from falling.

Haruhi looked down at everyone and felt tall, so she smiled at Mori who gave an agreeable nod back.

Kyouya looked expectantly at Tamaki who remained cooing up at Haruhi who gave him a baleful stare back from her place high above him. The stare became frigid and ankle biting within half a minute.

Tamaki turned to find Kyouya staring at him, hard and irritably before he snapped up straight and pointed a finger up at the ceiling almost accusingly, announcing rather dramatically the theme they'd decided upon (Kyouya's various costume pamphlets and decoration catalogues, Tamaki's slow uptake). "It has been decided upon Greek mythology!" he looked briefly over at Kyouya who nodded in agreement that it was in fact correct.

From her place high on Mori's shoulder, Haruhi gave Tamaki a blank, bland glance and sighed. She thought she heard Mori give a sigh through his nose. I'm not the only one exasperated then, Haruhi thought.

"Ah! Haruhi looks so cute!"

"Mori-senpai, this really suits you!"

Haruhi, despite being fitted with a furry goat like bottom, shiny black tap-dancing shoes and twin plastic horns while carrying around panpipes, wasn't too bothered by it all considering it wasn't as boring as she'd anticipated. Being seated atop the broad shoulder of Hades wasn't all bad, looking down at her customers with a benevolent smile. "You think so? Then I guess this silly costume was worth it, huh?"

Mori was dressed as the dark and gloomy lord of the underworld closed his eyes and nodded sagely before looking down at one of his customers. "Mori-senpai, Haruhi, do you think…we could also have you both as our hosts?"

Haruhi smiled and nodded, "Sounds wonderful."

Said bold girl blushed and fainted, would have fallen to the floor had her gasping friends not caught her.

Mori bowed his head while the girls carted their unconscious friend away and the two waited for their next customers in silence. Mori walked back towards the black throne that stood on clawed canine paws, the black wood looking like it was studded with onyx. A shroud of thin dark silk fell from the ceiling and around the throne which was surrounded with dead rose petals.

Mori managed to sit down comfortably with Haruhi still on his shoulder.

Pan and Hades both watched as Tamaki crooned to the ladies wearing a ring of olive leaves in a white toga, playing as Zeus. Kyouya as the infamous Dionysus was offering ambrosia and grape juice to his customers, smiling benevolently and checking that each station was doing its duty with slanted eyes when his clients weren't looking.

Hikaru and Kaoru played the role of Apollo and Artemis respectively, offering more incest but in pure polar opposites to which Kaoru wore blue and carried about a quiver full of arrows and a bow. Hikaru wore yellow, but not pertaining to Apollo who carried the same weapons as Artemis, instead carried about a wooden sword borrowed (courtesy of Mori) from the Kendo club.

There was silence and for once, besides yesterday, there were no smacking away grabby hands or telling off idiotic comments of daughters and fathers and brothers and sisters and toys. It was quiet, still but comforting.

"Mori-senpai?" Haruhi suddenly asked.

"Hm?"

"Do you feel very lonely when Hani-senpai isn't here?"

There was a contemplative pause, "Not as much as before."

Haruhi looked down at Mori's head, "Before what senpai?"

"I cannot carry around anyone else beside you and Mitsukuni."

Haruhi's mouth formed an o of understanding after a moment of analyzing what Mori said. "You feel lonely when there's no one to carry around? That's quite odd Mori-senpai."

"I suppose."

Haruhi was quiet and Mori was Mori. "Mori-senpai, you're like a faithful steed."

Mori looked up at Haruhi with his usual passive and impossible to discern face, and he looked almost offended slightly until Haruhi continued. "But, unlike a faithful steed, you're gentlemanly and you never whine or ask for anything yourself. You take everything into stride and try to make everyone around you comfortable. You're a gentlemanly knight and the faithful steed."

"Ah."

"Mori-senpai?"

"Hm?"

"May we go over to Hani-senpai's so I can give him a get well soup?"

"I think he'd like that."

"So do I." Haruhi smiled and Mori smiled back, and a flash erupted from the background but it didn't seem to damper the good mood.

"Mitsukuni."

"Yes Takashi?"

Haruhi had already left, leaving behind a pot of healthy soup which Hani, despite loving Haruhi as a close friend, would not touch for all the cake in France. "You were never sick, were you?" Mori's voice was flat and it almost wasn't a question.

"Huh? What gives you that idea, Takashi?"

"I asked your mother yesterday…and she said you went to the beach."

"Hm…I just needed a day off Takashi and Kyo-chan would have been terribly upset if we both went away."

Mori stared Hani down before the little blonde sighed loudly. "Did you have an ulterior motive, Mitsukuni?"

Hani looked innocently up at Mori, smiled and asked this: "Were you lonely, Takashi?"

Mori stopped his mild interrogation to answer with a small, barely there and quiet smile. "Not really."

As a side note concerning the deities that each Host Club member personified, Hades would have been much more suitable for Kyouya, he being tricky and lord of all the riches, but to the clients, it wouldn't fit his Host personality and he is the 'gloomy and serious one' of the Hosts.

Tamaki's personification of Zeus was based purely on rank and not truly personality since he only flirts, does not commit adultery.

In relation to Kyouya and Dionysus is only because he is said to be charming and sweet, but like Dionysus who was said to be driven into frenzies and have women rip children and men apart, there is something lurking beneath, no?

Hikaru and Kaoru…well…they're twins and naturally, between Apollo and Artemis, one was calmer while the other was impulsive and instinctive, both were protective of each other, and I'm not that creative. -.-

Haruhi…it was just for hilarity. No logic. Just for kicks.