After years of avoiding the subject, Feliciano finally decides it's time to come out to his Italian mother. On Saturday morning he finds her in the kitchen and nervously reveals to her his true orientation.
Needless to say, his mother was stunned, "You…" she speaks in barely a whisper, "…you mean you're gay?"
"Si, I am, Mama," he answers.
"You mean you do all those dirty sex things with other men?"
"Si, I do, Mama."
"You mean you enjoy putting other men's 'things' in your mouth?"
Feliciano nods, "Si, I do, Mama."
She pauses for a moment and wipes a tear from her eye. "I see," she sighs before beginning to beat her son with a wooden spoon. "So you do all of that, and yet you still have the nerve to complain about the taste of my lasagna!?"