Disclaimer: I own none of these characters; TNA does. The song that I am using is not mine either, so please don't sue me. My lawyers will kick your ass.
Author's Notes:
The weekend is here, baby! I like weekends, because weekends rule. Weekends are just awesome, y'know that? Mmm, sitting on my ass all day long while doing nothing productive. Yummy. Okay, let's move on. I'm sorry for not doing any stories last week. I was busy coming up with something for this story-writing competition in school. It's supposed to be targeted to children, and that makes me very sad. Children run away from my stories, they don't read them. Like, duh.
So, this is my first songfic! It is to Jimmy Eat World's 'Carry You'. You can find the song from their album Futures, which was released in 2007, if I'm not mistaken. I was listening to it the other day and I thought it'd go pretty well with AJ and Christian. Eff TNA for not keeping the Coalition slash alive! Slash makes the world go round! It does!
Living in the Moment
When I know I'm all alone
I say your name slowly
And I know that I'm alone
But I carry you
A fast and violent knocking on the door broke the silence of the apartment hallways. Letting his hand fall to his side, AJ Styles stepped back from the door and waited for it to open. He felt tense, but he tried his best to ignore the anxiety. Christian had left him a message on his phone a few hours ago, asking him to come by his place whenever he could. He hadn't said anything else apart from that, and AJ had wondered what his motives were.
He shifted his weight from foot to foot, feeling his nerves taking over as time passed by. After a few moments of waiting, AJ was already beginning to have second thoughts. God knows why Christian would want to see him again. His relationship with him hadn't ended well at all. They hadn't even agreed on going their separate ways. It all went by in such a blur, that AJ couldn't even recall half the things that happened on the night that it all ended.
Does it feel good like the memory
When you try some history
It's a dream to come around
The rule doesn't bend
Because the taste doesn't taste the same again
It's easy feeling righteous when removed
All you'll get is what you wanna hear
It hurts because it should
How else am I to make it clear?
"You're just gonna stand there?"
AJ jolted out of his reverie. Before him was the very person he was pondering about; Christian. He was standing right in front of AJ, his facial expression unreadable. AJ shuffled his feet uncomfortably.
"Uh. You wanted to see me?"
Right at that moment, something seemed to click in Christian's mind, as he raised his eyebrow. Opening the door wide and stepping back, he then said, "Yeah. Come in."
AJ hesitated, and looked to be doubtful.
Sighing, Christian held his hands up, signaling that he meant no harm. "I'm not gonna hurt you or anything," he stated, stepping back even further.
After a pause, AJ finally nodded and walked past Christian, who was locking the door. AJ walked into the living room. He knew the directions all too well, having shared the place with Christian during the months that they were together.
AJ smiled slightly, feeling himself reminisce. The memories of him and Christian together appeared so clearly in his head that he wondered whether he could ever forget them at all. He remembered virtually everything about their relationship. Everything significant about them was etched in his head, vivid and clear as if it had happened merely yesterday.
Maybe a lie is what I need sometimes
You told the most and best of anyone
You said to "keep me in your pocket"
So I carried you
You'd better choose your words carefully
Because I'm not your anything
Gonna stay here in my place
And you stay in yours
Because your only good is what you're good for
However, deep down, he knew that their separation was long overdue. They were dysfunctional. There were times when he wondered why they were even together in the first place. They fought an awful lot, and the cause of their arguments ranged from the directions of their relationship, to types of pizza to order. To put it simple, they did not work well together.
Timidly, AJ took at seat at the leather couch in the living room. He toyed with a coffee mug for a few seconds, waiting for Christian to finish locking the door. Seeing him finally enter the room, he stood back up and questioned, "Did you want to talk to me?"
"Obviously, yes," Christian eyed AJ up and down. He added, "You look good."
I pace around the room to spend the time
Waiting while the burning pictures fade
One thing to make your mind
And another to say its name
I could never be the one that you want, don't ask
Well, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
It passed
"Don't do that," AJ shook his head.
"Do what?"
"That thing you just did."
Christian looked intrigued. "Complimenting you?"
"Yes."
"I can't compliment you?"
"No, that's not what I…" AJ paused, before stating, "Look, I'm not coming back to you."
"I don't remember asking you to," the blonde replied. "I just wanted to talk."
AJ sighed. "About what?"
"Us."
"I'm not coming back to you."
A smirk framed Christian's face. He took a few steps towards AJ. "Like I said," he whispered, continuing his steps until they were inches away from each other. "I just wanted to talk."
Christian grabbed AJ's face, roughly pulling him into a kiss. He didn't care about anything anymore. All that he could think about was AJ, and the fact that he was Christian's. It didn't matter whether or not he aligned himself with Kurt, or whether or not he fell for a whore like Karen. AJ will always be his, and Christian wouldn't have it any other way.
Soon enough, buttons were flying across the room, and AJ felt the familiar heat of Christian's body against his own. He craved for more. Their clothes were discarded in a hurry, and soon enough, AJ found himself being pinned to the sofa. He couldn't even think anymore, because it was Christian, and they simply had to touch.
And so, they did.
I'm still carrying a little hope
That maybe, things could be different now
Is that so wrong?
Is that so wrong?
Is that so wrong?
"Where are you going?"
Resisting the urge to groan, AJ turned around. He had planned to slip out quietly, but now it seemed that it would not be possible. He gestured to the door, and replied, "I'm gonna head out."
"Well, will you come by again later?" Christian asked, as he sat up from the sofa. AJ cringed, seeing as Christian hadn't bothered to cover himself up at all. "I mean, you're coming back, right?"
"No, I won't."
As soon as those words left his lips, even AJ knew that he was lying.
He'd come back. He knew he would.
Because he came back last week. And the weeks before, too.
The whole thing was ridiculous. Couples who broke up were just exactly that; broken up. AJ and Christian were somewhere between taped delicately together and completely falling apart. His secret visits to Christian were stupid, and he would regret them the minute they were finished. The fact that he couldn't find it in himself to resist the older man was frustrating. But he needed Christian, and he couldn't possibly live without him.
Would I see you tonight
At a place we'll go
(Keep going through the motions, they lead to real emotion)
I wanna make things right
Before time runs out
(It was like you said, the taste don't taste like it should)
Roll down the windows
Let the cold air come in, yeah
Slap my face just to feel
To feel you somehow again
Again
As he turned around to leave, he didn't know what to think of them anymore. Their situation was confusing, and AJ didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. Thus, he merely smiled to himself. It was a forced, insincere, and bitter smile, but it was a smile nevertheless.
AJ liked to smile. Smiling would let everybody else know that he was happy. They wouldn't think that he was sad when he smiled, and they certainly wouldn't think that the fact that he still loved Christian was shattering him to tiny pieces that nobody would be able to pick up.
On his way to the door, he accidentally knocked Christian's coffee mug to the ground.
"Shit," AJ cursed, kneeling down.
"Wait," Christian appeared behind him, pulling him away from the sharp glass pieces. "Let me pick them up."
And AJ found that to be funny.
I could never be the one that you want, don't ask
Well, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
I could never be the one that you want, don't ask
Yeah, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed
It passed
'Cause it passed
Passed, it passed.
-end.-
