The Fall

English is not my mother tongue French is. This is my first Sandman fic, even though I wrote numerous pieces in other fandoms. Probably every author in this fandom thought about writing something like this. I haven't read any other Sandman stories. I have no other inspiration but my own, and my frustration at Morpheus' death.

Disclaimer : The characters and universe of The Sandman belong to Neil Gaiman. The quote appears in William Shakespeare's play "Hamlet".

I always liked the rain.

This is the foolish idea that crosses my mind, as I stand on the borders of nightmare, with rain pouring down on my face. I always liked the cool feel of rain on my skin, its icy fingers gently washing down the mistakes and the sins. Water strains at the scar on my cheek, but I can scarcely feel the hurt anymore. I feel hollow, and empty and yet, I feel serene.

I know I have done everything I could have done. As my realm is torn apart by the Ladies, I know it is the only way to save the dreams, the nightmares and the dreamers. I know it is the only way.

Matthew departed, a few minutes back. Or is it seconds, hours, years? Somehow, it is not important. I passed on my helm, I passed on the sand, I gave him the Eagle stone. I know he will use them well.

I am waiting for my sister, but I know she will come, in time. And as I watch the sea rumbling down below and the lightening tear the sky above, I reflect, letting the rain pour down on my face. Washing my world away.

The Ladies still laugh at my face, wanting me to end this mess so they can revenge. For one song and a few tears. Because the Furies can not be moved, because the Furies can not weep.

Are you satisfied, Desire, my dearly loathed sister-brother? Are you satisfied of your victory? And you, Lucifer Morningstar? You both swore to destroy me. Mayhap the Ladies would have sent for you, Morningstar, if I had dwelt on too long.

Their laughter echo with the crack of thunder as my kingdom suffers from their cruel claws, ripping it bit by bit, shred by shred, killing my dearest creations, freeing my prisoners.

This is the price to pay for spilling family blood. This is the price to pay for killing my son, my own flesh and blood.

I failed you a long time ago, Orpheus. Have I redeemed myself, now?

I wished I had asked. I wished I had helped him in his folly back then.

Or maybe not. Maybe I would have done exactly the same thing, were I given opportunity right now. I don't change.

I feel naked and exposed, without my cape, my gloves and my helm. I had prepared for battle. But, deep down, I had also prepared myself for this. A long time ago.

I miss having someone by my side. I miss my faithful little raven, but I know it is for the best that I sent him away. He would have gone with me and I did not wish that. It is kinslayer blood that the Ladies crave. Not their foe's friends' blood.

"I was thinking about duty. And second chances."

Can I have a second chance ? Maybe earlier, maybe when I had just shed the blood of my son. Maybe then, I could have escaped. But not now. That, I know.

Death silently appears by my side. Matthew succeeded, then. This is good.

I wish she'd scold me, like she did before. Even throw that wretched loaf of bread at me, for old times' sake. But she is right. It is far too late for that. Somehow, I wish the end would be different.

For the first time in a long long time, I am scared. But I am so very tired too. The Dreaming has become a cage, no better than my former prison of glass. Only my gaoler is myself and not a stupid mortal. I am bound by my own choice, by rules and duty. I am not Destruction. I can not shy away from my responsibilities. I can not change the way the world wants me to. It is change or die. And now, I don't have to opportunity to change anymore.

Their laughter has stilled, at my elder sister's command. We are as old as the world and still, I feel so young beside her.

I want to ask her "Will you stay with me, sister, at the end?", but I know she will. For she is, after all, the End.

I watch the sea rumbling down below. Hear the thunder tear the sky above. Feel the rain pour down on my face.

Words nearly forgotten rush back to my memory. Words said in a play, long ago.

To die, to sleep— no more. And by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep— To sleep—perchance to dream.

I wish I could dream again.

"Will you stay with me, sister, at the end?"

She murmurs my name and grasps my hand, with a sad smile on her lips.

And then, I fall.