Title: The Look In Your Eyes
Author: GEM
Date written: 8-6-10
Rated: T
Word count:
Category: Drama
Warnings: Tissues may be needed
Characters: Roslin/Adama
Summary: This a companion piece to Ripples in the Pond, it can be read on its own. Laura has defied the odds once can she do it again? Bill and Laura Reflect on their life together in their cabin on Earth
Spoiler: Season 4
Author's Note: The Song In Your Eyes Belongs to Linda Eder et al. BSG belongs to Ronald D. Moore, et al. No copyright infringement intended. This story has been a long time in the making. I don't have a beta at the moment so all mistakes are mine. Italics are flashbacks.
Bill was up out of bed early this morning. Laura had a rough night and he wanted to call Doc Cottle. When Jack arrived, the old man smiled sadly at his friend and former commander. "How is she?"
"She upstairs go, see for yourself."
Jack put his hand on Bill's arm. "I will but she will put on a front, so I want to know. How is she really?"
"Weak…stubborn and in a fair amount of pain. She couldn't keep anything down yesterday." Bill wiped a stray tear away. "I wish…"
Jack squeezed his arm. "I know why don't you take a little break. I'll go see her. I'll come back when I'm done."
Bill stood and leaned against the railing of the front porch as Jack walked into the cabin. They had come so far. They finally made it to Earth…the wasteland of their former lives was finally behind them. The landscape of this place is as beautiful as any they could have hoped for. They built their cabin together. Bill was happy to have the time with Laura; but he was human. Even when you have it all it never seems like enough. His life wouldn't be complete unless she was in it. Bill wiped his face again think about the near future. She wouldn't be here much longer.
As Jack Cottle walked through the halls of the Adama cabin he could hear Laura coughing from the bedroom. Jack stopped at the door and looked at his patient. The vibrant eyes and smile had dulled. They were replaced by pain and anguish. "What's all this racket about?"
"I have no idea I thought dying was supposed to be done quietly."
Well her wit isn't gone… that a good thing. Jack walked over to the bed and adjusted the pillows to prop her up higher. "You have never done anything quietly. Why start now?"
Laura laughed at this comment and then coughed some more. "Bill called you I see. I told him to leave it alone. I think he thinks if he calls you, you can stop this from happening."
Jack sat down on the bed and took his stethoscope out of his bag. "I wish I could." Jack said with a small smile as he helped Laura sit up against him, while he listened to her heart and lungs. "It sounds good."
"You're not a very good liar."
Jack pulled the blanket up around her. "I was telling the truth. You're not dying today."
Laura looked up at him. "But I shouldn't make long-term plans should I?"
Jack stood up and walked over to the window, looking out he saw Bill on the porch pacing. "I wouldn't, no." Jack stared at the floor. "I'm sorry, Laura."
"You have nothing to be sorry about, you gave me years I wasn't supposed to have. How long do you think?"
"Maybe six or eight weeks…Maybe less."
"I see. Would you come over here please?"
Jack walked back over to the bed and sat down next to her, taking Laura's hand as she spoke. "Thank you for everything old friend, do my a favor or two will you?"
"Anything you know that."
"When I'm gone, look in on Bill once in a while. He doesn't have many people left."
"Say no more." Jack squeezed her hand. "And the other favor?"
"Send him in here when you done talking to him. I would like to spend some time with my husband."
"Of course" Jack bent over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Bill heard to door open and turned to see Jack Cottle exiting the cabin. "How bad?"
"I'd call the family as soon as possible and spend as much time with her as you can."
Bill nodded solemnly looking down at the slats in the porch "I not ready to let her go." Jack stepped up next to him and put a hand on his friends shoulder. "I can't live without her."
"I can't stop the inevitable. I don't want it to happen either but there's nothing more to be done. She wants to see you." Jack squeezed his shoulder and pushed him toward the door. "Cherish what time you have left, my friend." Jack started down the porch stairs. "Call me if there is anything I can do. I'll check on her tomorrow."
Bill watched Cottle walk down the driveway, hoping against hope that if he stood their long enough he would wake up from this nightmare. Memories He and Laura's first weeks on Earth were flashing in his head. The long walks in the endless fields when the first arrived. The nights they spent under the stars reminiscing about their journey. He had fallen in love with her on the way and now that they were here there was nothing left to hold them back. Bill walked up the stairs to the bedroom, in the cabin by the stream; that they built together. He wiped all the emotion from his face, becoming the good little soldier before walking into and kneeling down next to her side of the bed. "I'm here." Bill took her hand in his and with the other brushed a few stare pieces of hair from her face. This was real this time. It was happening. She was leaving him slowly but surely.
"Don't look so bleak, I'm not dying today."
Bill cracked a sad smile and brushed his thumb against her wedding band. She had said that very same thing to him years ago and she was right she hadn't died that day. This gave him hope. "I don't think I can live without you here with me."
"You will William Adama. You will be strong and carry on. I have no regrets Bill none. Just fond memories."
Bill smiled think of those memories Laura was always so vibrant. When he looked into her eyes now he could sense that she was saying her goodbyes. It was his job to make those last as long as possible and not leave anything unsaid.
When I look in your eyes
I see the wisdom of the world in your eyes
I see the sadness of a thousand goodbyes
When I look in your eyes
"I've beaten the odds Bill. I've made it to Earth, we built our cabin, I shared my life with you and I've walked on a beach again. I can't ask for anything more. Yet, if you look at our lives I've gotten so much more. I have you, my husband. I have a granddaughter I would never have imagined this ending to my life in my wildest dreams.
Bill closed his eyes holding her hand tightly and once again rubbing the gold band around her finger. When he opened them again. A very alive Laura was standing in front of his mind's eyes. At the same time, Laura smiled up at him from the bed. "Do you remember all those nights we used to spend on the lawn out front looking up at the stars?"
"Like it was yesterday?" Laura lifted herself up in the bed and moved over to give Bill room to lie next to her. I'm not going to break Bill come lay with me. Hold me like you did that night."
Bill stood up, never letting go of her hand; he toed off his shoes and sat on the bed lying down next to her. He gathered her closely in his arms and held her while she fell asleep. He lay next to her and was transported back to their first few months on earth.
The first few days on Earth were surreal for Laura. The dying leader will not see the promised land. Yet here she was looking across the perfectly open field with wildflowers and a stream in the distance. This was the spot. It was just like the spot on New Caprica, except they had no fear of the cylons coming to ruin their lives anymore. "This is perfect." Laura said. She could feel Bill coming up behind her.
"Yes it is." Bill wrapped his arms around his girl. The prophecy be damned. This was Earth and they were here. Bill was not standing alone. He was standing with Laura right next to him. "I say we start building."
"I'm not sure if I'm up for that. The hike up here took a lot out of me."
"You're not done here yet." Bill turned her around to face him. "We have so much more to do." Bill leaned down and kissed her passionately. Nothing in that moment was wrong, the sun was shinning, the birds were chirping, Laura was wrapped in his warm embrace and she wouldn't trade for anything in the universe. "So what do you think?"
"You're kidding right? I think I could use some more of that."
Bill smiled at her and held her closer. "And so you shall have it." Bill kissed her again. When he broke the kiss he took her hand. "I think this is the perfect place. Lee and Galen were up here with me the other day. We can start building tomorrow. What do you say?"
"Let's do it."
"That's what I thought."
Bill wiped tears from his eyes. Those were happy times. The cabin came together quickly after that with the help of so many of the members of the Galactica's old crew. Four months after they picked the spot they spent their very first night in the cabin.
"Where are you?"
"What?" Bill turned toward Laura.
"I was wondering where you were just now?"
"I was just remembering our first night in the cabin."
Laura smiled. "I remember it well. I also remember out little stargazing make out session. Do you remember that? Laura watched as Bill's face turned a deep shade of red. "I thought you might."
"Where do you want these books?" Laura called down to Bill. They had been unpacking all day and Laura was working on the last box for the day. She was planning a candlelit dinner for her and Bill and she was fast running out of time for her surprise. "I have to start cooking soon, just tell me where to put them.
Bill climbed the stairs and joined her on the landing He took a hold the box and kissed her lovingly. "I'll take care of these, you go and cook, but don't wear yourself out."
Laura smiled, kissing Bill again, "I won't." Bill watched Laura walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. She loved to cook and every night it was something knew, but tonight it was going to be special. They had left the temporary tent-city behind for their new home. Their dream home in the wilderness, just like they always wanted. Bill was now unofficial retired and enjoying every minute. He carried the box of books up to the study and listened to Laura work in the kitchen This evenings meal was her domain, but Bill had something special planned for them after the meal. It was beautiful summer day, which no doubt would lead to beautiful summer night that he did not intend to let go to waste.
They shared dinner in silence, each not willing to let the moment go. "It's a beautiful night", Bill said as he stood up and cleared the table. "What do you say we take a blanket and sit out under the stars?"
"Just like New Carprica except without the weed." Laura said with a giggle.
Bill came up behind her and kissed her neck. "We won't need it. The moon is full and I intent to make love to you under those stars. That is if you have no objections.
"Oh…ah, no objections Admiral." Bill picked her up and carried outside and down the stars to the grassy field. There was a set on pillows and blankets set up already Bill gently set Laura down on the blanket "This was your plan all along wasn't it?"
"I confess I've been caught." Bill unfolded the other blanket and covered Laura before sitting down next to her on the blanket. He pulled her into his arms and the stared at the stars.
"We've done well. We did our jobs. We found our people a home. Your Son has gotten back together with Dee and things seem to be well. We've come along way since we first run from the cylons, Bill. This is Earth and there is no cylon occupying force to face like we did on New Caprica. It's a place were we can live peacefully and make love under the stars.
Bill smiled. He saw the moonlight reflected in Laura 's eyes. Her desire was apparent. Now he knew how his son felt around Dee. Bill could hardly keep his hands off of this woman. "Laura. I love you so much. We have so much to look forward too Destiny growing up. She needs a grandmother. I know we aren't married but that is the way she looks at you. I hope you are aware of that.
"I am but I'm look up at these beautiful stars and I lying here hoping that you will fulfill a fantasy for me. Make love to me under the stars.
And it is no surprise
To see the softness of the moon in your eyes
The gentle sparkle of the stars in the skies
When I look in your eyes
We made love for hours under the stars that night. It is not a night I will soon forget my love. Bill pulled Laura's fragile body closer to his. Lee, Dee and Destiny will be here this weekend. Are you up for the visit?"
"Yes, of course." Laura closed her eyes. "I'm going to take a nap, don't you leave me here alone, because when I wake up we are going to reminisce about the night you proposed to me.
"Yes, Ma'am."
Laura closed her eyes and dozed off. Bill held her close and watched her sleep. Still stuck in the memory of their first night in the cabin on the grass. They had made out under the stars for hours. Explore every bit of each other's exposed skin. Once they had finished with the exposed skin Bill was the first to start removing items of clothing—hers not his. He looked into her moonlit eyes for conformation that this was indeed what she wanted. He didn't blink twice as he saw the desire dripping from her features. He was careful to remove one piece of clothing at a time and made sure he paid close attention to each newly exposed area.
The moonlight added to the allure of the evening Laura could see the passion reflected in his eyes. He loved her and she loved him and they would spend the night showing each other just how much.
In your eyes
I see the deepness of the sea
I see the deepness of the love
The love I feel you feel for me
Laura was on the beach, She and Bill were walking hand and hand in the surf. They stopped every once in a while and shared a kiss or two before continuing to walk down the beach. "It beautiful here." Laura said as the continued to walk.
"I knew you would like it." Bill stopped and faced Laura. He kissed her lovingly on the lips and got down on one knee.
Laura began to laugh. "You're getting soaked down there. Stand up. She tried to pull him up but he didn't stand.
He reached into his and pulled out the handmade ring, Galen had made for him.
Bill was kneeling in front of her. The surf was coming up around them. He held out a homemade right. "I know it's not much but we've always made do. "We you marry me Laura?"
Laura was overcome with emotion the ring was beautiful. As tears cascaded down her cheeks she tried to speak to no avail. All she could do was nod. As Bill placed the ring on her finger, her legs gave way and she too was kneeling in the surf as the waves dissipated around them.
Bill laid down keeping Laura on top for now and they made slow passionate love in the surf to celebrate their engagement.
Bill held his sleeping wife and watched her face blossom into a smile. He held her close and wondered silently what she was dreaming about.
In an effort to make herself more comfortable she shifted in her sleep and collided with the strong chest of her husband. "I love waking up in your arms."
"I love watching you sleep." Bill whispered as he kissed her forehead. "What were you dreaming about before you woke up."
"The night we spent in the surf." Bill smiled his all knowing smile. Laura looked deep into his blue eyes, it was then that she saw the love and pain that this was causing him. "I love you Bill...don't ever forget that. You saved me...you and you only and I love you for it and so much more."
Lee, Dee, and destiny arrived the next day. Bill put on a brave face for his granddaughter. It was a face Lee and Dee saw right through.
"How is she doing?" Lee leaned up against the railing next to his father.
Bill stared out into the open yard watching Dee push Destiny on the tree swing. "She sleeps a lot now. She doesn't have much time, Son."
"His father's admission hit him like a ton of bricks. "Okay...okay. Do you mind if..." Lee motioned to the door.
"I think she would like to see you very much."
Lee made his way into the cabin, looking around at his surroundings as he made his way to the stairs. He quietly walked to the bedroom. The sight in front of him made his heart break. Laura was propped up in bed, with a book in her lap, her glasses were laying haphazardly on her face. Lee kneeled down next to the bed and took her hand gently in his. He caressed her soft skin and did his best to keep his emotions in check.
"If it isn't my Captain Apollo." Laura smiled at her step-son. "There will be no tears shed in front of me is that clear Captain?"
Lee smiled and his breath hitched as he attempted to control his emotions. "No Promises, Ma'am, but I will try."
"Very well. Did Dee and Destiny come with you as well?"
"Yes, they are outside with Dad."
"How is your father doing?"
"He is quiet. He does a very good job of keeping his emotions in check. "
"But...there is a but there?"
"But...his hurting." Lee stood up and sat in the chair next to the bed. "We're all hurting. You saved us Laura and you taught me so much. You taught me that it was okay to stand up for what I believed in. You taught me it was okay to have a different opinion than that of the old man. You taught me how to communicate with my father and for that I will forever be in you debt. "
Laura started to respond but was interrupted by a violent cough. Lee moved quickly to help her sit up and take a drink of water, it was gesture not unlike one his father preformed not so many years ago.
"I have good days and bad But don't look so worried I'm not dying today. "
"Sorry."
"What can I do for you?"
"You were right about Cain Pegasus had a civilian fleet with her, 15 ships. Cain stripped them. For parts, supplies...people."
"I wish I could say I was surprised, but it's who she is. She's playing for keeps, you've gotta do the same."
"What's gotten into you?"
"Mm."
"You've become so bloody-minded."
"I know that as long as Cain lives... your survival is at risk, I know that." Laura starts coughing. Bill reaches over to her bedside table and get her glass of water. He helps her sit up while taking a sip.
"What can I get you?
"A new body. Perhaps, o ne of those young blonde models."
"I can't see you as a blonde."
"You'd be surprised." Laura laughed softly at the thought as well as the look on his face.
"We'll see you tomorrow?" She could sense the uncertainty in his voice and something else was that sadness.
"Mm-hmm." She gave him a slight smile and as he started to walk out She stopped him. Her demeanor now serious. "Commander. She won't hesitate to kill you. Don't let her."
Laura smiled at that time not so many years ago. She was not certain if she could make the same promise to Lee that she made to Bill that day.
"Where were you just now?" Lee asked with a smile.
"I was remembering one of the many conversations I had with your father not so long ago."
"You make him very happy. For all the fighting and the disagreements. I wasn't surprised when you two said you were getting married. It seemed right."
"He makes me very happy as well." They were interrupted by the sound of little feet running down the hall. "Well look at this beautiful Princess, "Hello Destiny, Would you like to come and sit by grandma?"
Destiny stood in front of her father and looked up at Laura. "Yes, Grammy." Lee laughed at his daughter's expression and lifted her up on the bed. She quickly cuddled next to Laura.
"Be careful Des..Grammy doesn't feel well today."
"It's fine Lee." Laura looked at Destiny. "You've grown so much since I saw you last. You are a beautiful strong young lady. And you have you Daddy's eyes."
Laura was doing her best to keep a brave face. Destiny was wonderful, but a constant reminder of the things she would miss. As she held the little girl, Lee continued to talk about the things he learned from her and how happy she made his father. He talked about Destiny and all the things that she was doing. Some of the conversation she followed but some of it was like standing in a fog.
She felt her granddaughter little body against her and was transported back to her last visit, only a month ago.
Laura watched Bill and Lee play with Destiny from the kitchen window the little one was growing up so fast. She was on the swing and Bill and Lee were taking turns pushing her up high in the sky. Laura smiled at the sounds of her giggles. Soon she wouldn't be here anymore. Bill would be alone, but not truly because he had Destiny, Lee and Dee and they truly had become a family.
Autumn comes, Summer dies
I see the passing of the years in your eyes
And when we part there'll be no tears, no goodbyes
I just look into your eyes
Laura was pulled back into reality when she felt Destiny's weight being shifted off of her. She didn't realize she was crying, she looked up through watery eyes. Lee was holding his daughter whispering into her ear. He held Destiny down to her again.
Laura reached out and caressed her granddaughter cheek and kissed her forehead. "Grammy, loves you little one." Laura couldn't hold her emotions in anymore. Lee carried Destiny out of the room and returned a few moments later with Dee.
"Are you Okay?" Lee asked.
"Yes, I just..."
Dee sat down on the bed and took Laura's hand. "You don't have to explain we understand. "We love you and We always will."
"I have one last special mission for the two of you."
"Anything you need, Laura." Lee sat down next to his wife and looked into his step-mother's eyes, "Anything."
"Don't let you father wallow away in self-pity and tell Destiny about me. Take care of them both. I'm afraid for your father, Lee. I don't know what he'll do when I'm gone."
"Don't worry about that. We'll make sure that he'll be fine."
Dee leaned down an whispered something so only Laura could hear. Laura smiled and Dee did as well. "I love you Laura, Thank you for giving me the family that I never knew I could have." Dee kissed her and then turned to her husband and kissed him. "I'm going to go check on Des."
"She's a special lady, Lee treat her well."
"Yes, Mom, I've learned my lesson. I will treat them both very well." Lee leaned down and kissed her. "I love you, Mom. I always will...get some rest."
Bill made his way up to their bedroom, Laura was awake when he entered which surprised him. "They just left. How are you feeling. Bill asked as he sat on the bed next to his wife.
"I'm feeling okay. I think I would like to go outside and sit on the swing with you like we used to."
Bill smiled. "Okay." Bill when over to the chest below the bed and pulled out a big blanket. He pulled back the covers on the bed, wrapped Laura in the blanket and lifted her up in his arms.
She felt safe her in his arms. She always had. "Thank you, my love."
"Anything for you love."
He carried her down the stairs and out onto the patio. He placed her on the swing and sat down next to her. They sat and swung under the moonlight much like they did the first night they arrived on Earth.
Bill brushed loose hairs away from her face and showered her with light kisses. "I love you...but you don't need to hold on for me, Laura. I can see the pain in your eyes, the love too. You can let go Love I will be fine." He looked deep in her eyes and saw everything he needed to know. Their time was short but they would love each other for eternity.
"I don't want to let go yet. I just want to sit here in your arms like this." She didn't want to say the word, goodbye...it had such finality to it. She wouldn't say it and neither would he. She would look into his eyes and he into hers and that would be enough for both of them.
And when we part there'll be no tears, no goodbyes
I'll just look into your eyes
Those eyes so wise, so warm, so real
How I love the world your eyes reveal
The End