CatB: Just like everything else on this account, this is being reposted. (See my profile page if you want to know why). Enjoy!

Cinderella's Drabble: The First Act

I'm Cinderella

I hope to go to the King's ball

My stepmother and stepsisters laugh at me

I'll show them

My stepsisters are mean

The evil stepsisters

My stepmother is too

Why are they so mean to me?

I think they're just jealous of my beauty!

----------------------------

Great. My stepmother just dropped the frickin' lentils into the ashes, ON PURPOSE!

She says that if I pick through them in two hours then I can go to the festival

What does she think I am, a frickin' magician?

-grumble-

-----------------------------

My birdie friends just finished helping me pick the lentils out of the ashes

Oh my God, I never want to see a lentil again

Oh, look. Here come my pathetic stepsissies, forcing me to help them get ready for the ball

Lucinda's dress has a tear. How unfortunate

And Florinda wants her hair in a twist

Now she says I'm not twisting hard enough

I'll give her a hard twist!

OW! She just slapped me! Bitch.

-------------------------------

They just left

I tried to convince them that I should go too

They just ignored me, as did my father

What shall I do?

I know. I'm such a genius

I'll visit the grave of my mother!

Off I go into the woods!

---------------------------------

My mother was able to help

She gave me gold and silver dress

And gold slippers to match

I don't know how, but-

-gasp-

My outfit is…COORDINATED!

I love my mom

-------------------------------

I went through the woods to escape the Prince

How ironic is that?

I went to the festival to meet the Prince, and then I run away from him

Well, he can't know who or what I am

My stupid matching slippers made me fall in front of this random woman

She helped me up and I told her about the ball

When the Prince came along I hid

When he asked where I was she lied for me

He went off in completely the wrong direction What a moron!

Well, a nice, handsome, rich moron

I'm thinking about that woman and how she lied to royalty for…me

Me. Cinderella

That was nice

No one is ever nice to me

Her niceness makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside!

She was quite strange though

Why the hell does her husband need a cow to undo a spell?

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!

And she was weirdly fixated by my golden shoes

What if she has a foot fetish?

That would be so freaky!

Well, she said she needed my shoes

So much for the fetish idea

But hasn't she ever heard of Target?

You can buy shoes at Target for cheap

I'll suggest that the next time I see her!

---------------------------------

I ran into the random woman again tonight after the second evening of the festival

No, I didn't run into her

More like fell in front of her AGAIN

I'm such a klutz it's not even funny

That voice inside my head is laughing at me now

DAMN YOU, STUPID VOICE!!!

-grumble-

Anyway, the random woman who might have a shoe fetish -not a foot fetish- asked about my shoes again

Then she asked about the ball and the Prince

She really is random, no?

Or maybe just on crack or something

But when I tried to run after hearing the Prince's voice (Oh, his beautiful, princely voice), she totally wouldn't let me!

She grabbed my shoe (which I had taken off) and wouldn't let go

And she made a comment about needing it to have a baby

How does that work?!

Does she want to have sex with my shoe?!

I thought she was married!

Maybe she really is on crack!

Finally I got the shoe away, thank God

What a weird woman

--------------------------------

I guess the Prince isn't really a moron

That sucks

I kinda wanted him to be, but I guess he's not

He did manage to get one of my shoes

He spread pitch on the steps of his castle

When I left the festival, I was stuck

It was really hard to make the decision

Stay and be caught?

Or escape?

I changed my mind

He's definitely an idiot

It took me forever to pry my shoes out of the frickin' pitch

Stupid bastard

He was probably so proud of that plan

It didn't work

He must be devastated

He's not getting any sympathy from me!

And I ran into the Shoe Fetish Lady again

She was like, chasing me!

Then she had the nerve to offer me a bean in exchange for a slipper!

A bean!

A "magic" bean, she claimed

I'm not stupid

She made that comment again- the one about needed the shoe to have a child

The Prince was getting closer

My feet hurt

She gave me her shoes in exchange for my remaining slipper

It's so weird

I still don't get why she needed my shoe

Unless she's going to sleep with it there's no way she can use it to have a child

And how do you sleep with an inanimate object?

Never mind, I don't want to know

Maybe she was talking in code!

Or maybe not

Whatever

I don't care

---------------------------

I am a genius

I was so right to leave my shoe on the steps of the Prince's palace!

He came to my house with my shoe

Every maiden in the kingdom was going to try it on until he found the foot that fit

I felt kinda bad about that

Anyway, he let my stepsissies and mom try it on

No fit!

When he asked if anyone else lived there, my stepmom told him that I didn't matter. Bitch

He insisted, so I got to try it on

It fit perfectly! (No duh!)

My stepsissies were soooo envious

Having people be envious of you is a nice feeling

Well, we went off to his palace to become man and wife and live happily ever after

Oh, and I ran into Shoe Fetish Lady yet again, but this time she was pregnant!

By my shoe or by her husband, I'm not really sure…

CPF: To be continued in Cinderella's Version of Events, Act Two.