I initially wrote this as an angsty one-shot but a muse told me that I might be able to develop it further. We'll see...

Warnings for mild Yaoi, bad language, possible character death, cute bondage and dirty dishes. Rated M. Natch.

Disclaimer: Didn't invent Naruto.

An Unfree World

"Kakashi-san, the Hokage will see you now." Shizune called to the Copy-nin.

Kakashi did not want to see the Hokage. He was already late for meeting up with Iruka and their friends at the Crossed Kunai. Damn that wretched mission report.

As Kakashi entered Tsunade's office her nose was buried in paperwork. She looked troubled.

"Good evening, Hokage-sama, you wished to see me?" Tsunade sighed and glanced up briefly from the scroll she had been studying intently.

"Ah, Kakashi. I'm afraid I have another mission for you." Another? Already? The woman really was a slave driver.

Tsunade continued, "Kakashi, a serious situation has been developing over the last few days. Our allies in Suna have reported a powerful enemy presence. Their intel indicates that they are highly aggressive and we have recently identified the leader of this group, a powerful rogue shinobi. I need you to undertake an assassination and sabotage mission."

"Hokage-sama, are there no ANBU available? Would they not be more appropriate for this type of work?" Kakashi had never really enjoyed his days in ANBU. Joining was the ultimate badge of pride for shinobi in their late teens and early twenties as it proved that they had the skills to join Konoha's elite. Of course Kakashi had excelled as an ANBU captain but, although he followed orders and executed his missions swiftly and precisely, assassination was not something that came naturally to him. He valued life too much.

"I don't believe that I have anyone else that would have the skills to complete this mission. All diplomatic avenues have been explored and exhausted. I need a sharingan user and that, coupled with your experience, is the only realistic chance of success that we have. The consequences of failure are likely to result in war."

The jounin nodded. He was well aware of the fragility of peace and that Konoha was always potentially under threat by those who were intimidated by its strength.

Tsunade took a deep breath before continuing. She raised her head and looked Kakashi right in the eye for the very first time during their conversation.

"Kakashi. I have to be honest with you. I don't expect you to return from this one. I realise that I am asking a lot, but my choice is to lose my best shinobi or risk losing the entire village. I have been through a thousand different scenarios a thousand times and I honestly believe that this is the only way."

Kakashi exhaled slowly. A million thoughts began to whir in his mind.

Tsunade continued. "As you know, if you were to take this mission it would be on an entirely voluntary basis. Konoha would see that all your affairs were dealt with. If you can't do this one, I will have to seek an alternative plan."

Of course he would accept the misson, he had sworn to protect Konoha. Tsunade looked away and waited for his response. Kakashi stared at her intently. He could sense that something was wrong, that there was more to this mission than she was letting on, but he didn't enquire further.

Kakashi took a deep breath. "I will take the mission." He picked up the scroll containing the details and turned to leave. There was nothing else to say.

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Konoha will always owe you the greatest gratitude. Good luck, kiddo."

As Kakashi left the room, she delved into her desk drawer, brought out a flask of sake and took a very large swig. There were times that Tsunade really hated being Hokage.

Kakashi was supposed to leave immediately but ambled back to his apartment, taking his time, to prepare for the mission. He had faced certain death countless times but never had he taken on a misson knowing that he was going to die. It made a world of difference.

His mind began to wander to thoughts of Iruka. They had been together for just a few short years but during that time Kakashi had truly come to believe that it was possible to be happy. He worried how Iruka would take the news. It had taken them long enough to get together – Genma had been orchestrating it for months. He finally managed to get them talking at one of Tsunade's legendary parties and – after downing a few sakes - they realised that they had far more in common than simply having tutored Naruto and Team Seven. They talked about the chuunin exam incident; Iruka admitted that Kakashi had been correct in his judgement about the team's abillities and that he had been right to push them to develop their skills. And for his part, the jounin let Iruka know that he had been impressed by his wanting to protect his former pupils and for having the guts to stand up to him. As the evening had continued and more sake flowed, Iruka confessed that he really missed meeting up with Naruto for ramen now that he was away on missons so often. Kakashi took the opportunity to tell Iruka how much he enjoyed ramen and suggested that perhaps they meet up for noodles the following day.

They'd continued to see each other over the following weeks and months, initially for regular ramen but later they'd go drinking together as well, whenever Kakashi's missions would allow, and they began to find that they were increasingly enjoying each other's company. Kakashi had always thought Iruka to be rather prim and proper and had never seen the playful side to Iruka's personality. Iruka had always viewed Kakashi as aloof and was somewhat in awe of his skills and reputation, but learned that Kakashi was simply a very private person and was, in fact, very kind and had a great sense of humour. Hardly daring to acknowledge their feelings, even to themselves, they were beginning to fall in love.

It was when Iruka's apartment flooded that the pair finally admitted their feelings for each other. Their friendship had grown to the extent that Iruka felt completely comfortable asking Kakashi for some crash space while his flat was out of action and the Copy-nin had no hesitation in inviting him to stay for as long as he needed. Kakashi's apartment was a surprise to Iruka. It was minimal but it was clean. The kitchen was stocked with all kinds of cooking appliances and ingredients and it turned out that his friend was an extremely competent cook.

Kakashi was also clearly very literate and possessed a huge bookshelf containing tomes of all descriptions, and not just the Icha Icha series he was so well known for. In fact, one evening he confessed to Iruka that, while he loved erotic fiction, much of his reading time was actually spent enjoying classical literature, but wrapped in an Icha Icha dust jacket so as to prevent anyone becoming suspicious that he might actually be cultured after all. He had so enjoyed irritating his genin team by reading while they were training. Iruka thought this was hilarious and, as he was subduing his giggles, admitted that he had read an Icha Icha book once and had quite enjoyed it. Kakashi told him that if he hadn't already been in love with Iruka, that fact would have made him his all-time favourite person.

It had just slipped out. Both were shocked by that confession and, for a moment, took their time to let those words sink in. Kakashi focused his grey eye onto the chuunin to gauge his reaction. Iruka exhaled slowly, smiled and invited the Copy-nin to kiss him.

Iruka was Kakashi's rock. Kakashi was Iruka's liberation. The sex was hot and steamy, their embraces warm and strong.

Kakashi sighed and shook himself from his thoughts. He rooted through his wardrobe and picked out his ANBU gear. Somehow it seemed to be the most practical thing to wear for this mission. His hand traced the smooth contours of the porcelain dog mask. He wouldn't be needing that. As a teenage ANBU captain Kakashi had been anonymous, but over the years his reputation as a fearsome shinobi had grown and his crazy silver hair was recognisable throughout the lands – no mask would disguise his identity these days. Besides, the porcelain was really very impractical and further impaired his already limited peripheral vision; he had never quite worked out why the authorities hadn't devised a more suitable design,

He really hadn't imagined that his ANBU costume would ever see action on a mission again. The last time he had worn that gear was when he and Iruka had been engaging in some naughty ANBU roleplay. Who'd have thought that Iruka would have been such a tiger in bed? Iruka's sense of fun had led to numerous pranks and practical jokes until one day he pushed Kakashi a little too far and the jounin felt obliged to tie him to the bed with chakra enhanced rope and torture him mercilessly with a selection of naughty toys. Kakashi had plenty of toys and a wild imagination. He was incredibly creative when it came to finding new and exciting ways to please his lover. Their play had lasted all night – until they collapsed on the bed in each other's arms, exhausted and completely satisfied.

Kakashi looked around the room. The apartment was tidy enough, he didn't have time to sort through paperwork or wash the dishes. Well, things would just have to remain like that. He picked up his katana and slung it across his back.

Iruka had been waiting patiently at the Crossed Kunai, chatting and drinking with the other shinobi – their friends – and hoping that Kakashi would be joining them soon. He hadn't seen his lover all day and was longing to be with him, to hug him, to hold him. Still, it wasn't unusual for Kakashi to be late and Genma was keeping everyone entertained as he told them a long and convoluted story about his latest mission, embellishing it with tales of extraordinary bravery and heroism. Of course, he saved the girl too and they both shagged happily ever after.

At last a shock of silver hair appeared in the doorway. Iruka breathed a sigh of relief and got ready to welcome his lover, nudging Yamato to shift over and make room on the shared seat. When he saw what Kakashi was wearing Iruka's first thought was "Oh kami, does he look incredible in that gear" but this was swiftly followed with confusion as to why Kakashi was dressed as ANBU and then finally concern as he saw the dreadful look on his lover's pale face. It was clear that something was very, very wrong. The bar fell silent as Kakashi strode across the floor and Iruka rose from his seat to meet him.

Kakashi stood tall and in a clear voice declared slowly, "Umino Iruka, I love you. Now place your arms around my neck and hold tight." Iruka complied. The jounin then turned to address their friends, who were all looking on with astonishment at his uncharacteristic behaviour.

"Be there for him, please," Kakashi said, and the pair vanished in a puff of smoke.

They reappeared in the forest beyond the gates of Konoha. As they walked hand in hand, they headed in the direction of the enemy and Kakashi explained the details of the mission. He was not supposed to have done this, he probably shouldn't even have taken time to see Iruka before leaving, but to hell with the rules. Most ninja never had the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved ones. They left for missions fully expecting to return – they had to - protracted goodbyes were simply not appropriate in shinobi life; the only effect they had was to spook everyone out.

Kakashi and Iruka had both lost family and close friends – in war, on missions, and Kakashi particularly could never forget the horrible circumstances of his father's death. They had learned to come to terms with grief. But neither of them had ever had to face losing a lover. Both had sincerely hoped that the next generation of shinobi would live in a society that could achieve peace, taking pride in having been involved with the training of younger ninja, to give them the skills to survive in the harsh world to the best of their abilities. As they walked together Kakashi talked to Iruka about practicalities – asking him to take care of the dogs and whether he'd mind finishing the washing up at his apartment – ridiculous considering the circumstances, but what was one supposed to talk about?

As they approached the point where Kakashi had to go on alone, their pace slowed. Eventually they came to a halt. Turning to face his lover, Kakashi removed Iruka's hitai-ate and then his own, revealing the sharingan. He grasped his lover's hands as they looked into each other's eyes. Kakashi was determined to record every last moment with Iruka and didn't care about expending chakra.

"I'm not afraid. I brushed with death briefly during the conflict with Pein. I know that it won't hurt. You need to know that I love you more than you can ever know and that we will meet again, even if it has to be in the afterlife."

Iruka couldn't speak. He wanted to blurt out declarations of undying love, of the joy and happiness he'd found with Kakashi, how he would miss him, how he didn't want to go on without him. But there were no words in any language that could possibly express those feelings. Instead he grasped Kakashi's neck and pulled him into deep kiss. Letting go, they pressed their foreheads together and gripped each other in a strong embrace. They held each other for the longest time, until Kakashi knew that he could delay the mission no longer. He kissed Iruka tenderly on the lips for the final time and walked away before finally leaping into the treetops.

Iruka remained behind for half an hour after Kakashi had disappeared from view. Then slowly he turned and began the long trudge back to Konoha, tears streaming down his face. He'd been stoic during his last moments with Kakashi and would be stoic again once he was through the gates of Konoha. But for now, so what if the Shinobi Code forbade any ninja to display emotion. Fuck the shinobi code and fuck this wretched world.