The moment he saw Cas' grace leaving his body Dean stoppen breathing, all was a blur after that. He was ready to take a shot at Lucifer, but suddenly his mother appeared. Yeah, that hadn't gone well either.
He was just numb, he couldn't process what had just happened. He kind of noticed Sam going back into the house. He couldn't remember why. All he could do was stare at Cas, dead weigh in the dirt, wings burned into the ground. This couldn't be right. No. He refused to believe it. No, Cas couldn't be… No! He just isn't.
His legs gave up and he fell to his knees. He looked up to the sky Chuck please. Don't let this happen. You had helped him son many times before. Bring him back to me. I'll take care of him, I can do it. Please just bring him back. It didn't matter how much he begged, Cas woulnd't open his eyes
He let out the breath he was holding and he just full screamed
- Cas, Cas please. You can't leave me. C'mon buddy, not you! CAAS WAKE UP! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP NOW!, please- he sobbed- please, please, please.
He was full on crying on Cas stomach, where his head had come to rest. He didn't know how and he didn't care. His sunshine was gone. He couldn't go on know. God, Cas was really dead this time. Jesus he was really dead wasn't he?. No more "hello dean", he was not going to see those beautiful blue eyes again. His angel was dead. He was dead and he didn't know. He just had to tell him. He had to.
- Cas, I love you, you are my everything Cas. You are everything – he grabbed Cas face with both
hands - just please, come back ok? I promise I'll be better, I just do anything you want me to, but I need you Cas, I need you.
He just couldn't. He needed him back, he couldn't even breath. He just couldn't.
When Sam came down, nothing could have prepared him for what he was seeing right in front of him. His brother was sobbing, holding for dear life to the vessel that once held their best friend.
- Dean. Dean, I so sorry Dean, but we should move, the nephilim... – he tired.
- I can't Sammy, I won't leave him Sammy
- Dean I….
- I SAID I AM NOT MOVING SAM! LEAVE ME ALONE.
Sam looked at his brother and held him in his arms. He started rocking him, tears threatening to spill, as he saw Cas lifeless body over his brother's shoulder.
- Shhhh! Is going to be ok Dean.
- You don't understand Sammy, you… I am in love with him.
- Yeah Dean I know. I know, and that's how I know you can get through this. It's goint to be ok Dean.
They stayed like that for a while. Jack had eventually taken off. Dean didn't even notice. And Sam couldn't leave Dean so, they would deal with it when Dean got better.
Eventually, Sam got up and started looking for wood. They had to bury to bodies and Dean wasn't able to be able to help so, he had to do all the work. Once, he had finished, he went upstairs to pick Kelly's body. His body ached while he carried the body down. It had been a long couple of day's for sure.
After settling Kelly, he approached Dean, who was now holding onto Cas again.
- No – said Dean
- Dean, we have to do this. I know it's no easy.
- I know. I know ok? Just not here. Not here Sammy. Home, we do it when we get home. Please Sammy, don't make me do this.
- It's ok, Dean, we do it home, don't worry ok. I'll get the car.
Dean was kind of aware of how Sam lit a fire behind him and tossed him the keys. He just noticed because the light was lightening Cas face. Cas beautiful face. A face that Sam just wanted to burn. No, he wouldn't let him, he couldn't even bare the thought. He was having trouble breathing again.
- Please, sunshine. Just fight this, just come back to me – great, he was sobbing again.
He had to hold it together, damn it! He decided to get up, he had to get Cas to the back seat. The moment he rose his head he was blinded by the sunrise. He put his arm in front of his eyes, loosing the grip he had on Cas and he instantly regretted it. If he hadn't done that, he probably hadn't missed the rise of Cas chest.
- Dean?
Dean looked down to face those blue eyes, the eyes he tough he never would see again.
- Welcome back sunshine
Then he just full grinned. He grinned as he gripped Cas face and slammed his lips to Cas. The he actually felt Cas kissing back and they both got lost in the moment. He couldn't believe this was happening but he wasn't wasting anymore time.
- I love you – Dean told Cas as he pressed their foreheads together – I love you, Cas. I am in love with you. Ok? I am in love with you, stop leaving please. You just have to stop this Cas, I can't take it.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry Dean. I love you too. I just felt you hurting while Lucifer was atacking you, and I couldn't let that happened.
When Sam brought baby to where Cas body was he found him very alive, kissing Dean as if his life depended on it. And maybe it did.
Later on they discovered that Cas was not longer an angel. He was human now. But he didn't care, and neither did Dean, because, he got his sunshine back and he didn't care what else life decided to throw at them now that his angel, 'cause that's what Cas was to him, period, was sleeping next to him at night,