Our Wild Middle Earth: A LOTR Fanfic
Summary: After electricity/cable/TVs are installed in Middle Earth, Legolas starts his own TV show about the wild creatures residing in Middle Earth.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings.
Chapter 1: The Plan
(A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a humor fanfic, so please bear with me if it's not that good! Thanks!)
Electricity was not something new to the citizens of Middle Earth. It had been discovered before the War of the Ring, but since the War was so important, nobody had time to wire up all of Middle Earth. So after Sauron was defeated, men from all over helped to wire up all the homes and buildings of Middle Earth. Cable, TVs, VCRs, computers, the Internet, and telephones were all available to every citizen. More people had jobs because they were needed for TV shows, the news, and movies. Even the lowliest of creatures could now find a place on some reality show, game show, or home decorating series.
A few years after all of this, Legolas, Elladan, Elohir, and Haldir became bored. Since there was no more fighting and no more use for bows-and-arrows, they had nothing to do. But because Legolas was Prince of Mirkwood, and Elladan and Elohir were the sons of Elrond, and Haldir worked for Celeborn and Galadriel in Lothlorien, all of them could do anything their hearts desired.
"Haldir, I'm bored," Legolas whined, as he, Haldir, Elladan, and Elohir sat in Legolas' bedroom in Mirkwood. Elladan and Elohir were sitting in two bean bag chairs, Haldir was sitting in the recliner, and Legolas was sprawled out on his bed.
"What do you want me to do about it?" Haldir asked.
"Elladan, I'm bored," Legolas said again.
"So what?" Elladan grumbled.
"Elohir, I'm bored," said Legolas for the third time.
"Legolas, shut up!" yelled Elohir.
Legolas glared at his friend, and there was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" Legolas said.
The door opened, and in came Thranduil. "Hey boys, what are you doing?" he asked.
"We're bored," Legolas said.
"Bored? How can you be bored?" Thranduil said, surprised. "With all the stuff you have in here, I can't imagine that you would ever be bored." He scanned the shelves on the wall that were crammed with games, puzzles, toys, and videos. "Why don't you watch TV? There's always something on."
"We haven't tried that yet," Haldir said. "Thanks for the idea, Mr. Greenleaf."
"No problem, boys," Thranduil said. "Have fun!" He walked out.
Elladan grabbed the remote from off the floor and turned on the TV. "Tell me if you see anything," he said as he went to the TV Guide Channel.
As they looked at the listings, nobody responded, until Haldir piped up. "Hey! 'Dwarf Masterpiece Theater' is on!" he exclaimed. "I love that show!"
Everyone looked at him with shocked expressions. "What? It's entertaining..." he trailed off.
"Hey! What about 'Designs by Ms. Balrog' on the Home Shopping Network?" Elohir asked. "I heard she has a new jewelry line out."
"Elohir, that's a sissy show," Elladan told his brother. "I wouldn't be caught dead watching that. Let's watch 'Trading Kingdoms' instead on TLC. It's so awesome!"
"Never heard of it," Haldir said. "What's it about?"
"Two pairs of Kings and Queens switch palaces for two days and redecorate eachothers' houses," Elladan explained. "Each team gets a designer to think up the plans, and both teams have to share one carpenter. I was actually thinking of signing Arwen and Aragorn up for it. Their palace is so in need up an update."
"Oh, I see," Haldir said. "It sounds neat, but what I don't get is why they have to share a carpenter. Wouldn't that be hard if they're in different kingdoms?"
"Well, the network only has enough gold coins to pay one carpenter per show," said Elladan. "But it is kind of a problem. Say, one couple lives in Erebor and one lives in Rohan. The carpenter is stationed somewhere in between those two regions. Whenever he builds something, he has to take his horse-and-cart to the kingdom. Then, he has to run all the way back, and then go to the other kingdom, and-"
"Guys, that's enough," Legolas interrupted. "Let's face it. We'll never be able to agree on one show."
"But I want to watch 'Trading Kingdoms'!" Haldir exclaimed. "It sounds interesting!"
"No, we're not watching that," Legolas said. He thought for a moment. "You know what we should do? We should have our own TV show." A sly grin spread across his face. "We could call it 'Our Wild Middle Earth', and we could travel around and tell the citizens about the wild creatures that reside in this world."
The four Elves looked at eachother and grinned. Elohir said, "But where will we get the equipment?"
"My father has a video camera with a cable hookup in his study," Legolas said. "We can 'borrow' it, and then hook it up to the TV to broadcast it to the world!"
"Sounds fun!" Elladan said.
"Let's do it!" Haldir chimed in.
"Count me in!" said Elohir.
"Come on, guys," Legolas said to them. "Let's go get the camera and begin the adventure."