Okay, so apparently I've got a new obsession in PeckStein. And not even necessarily in a romantic sense.
This is my follow-up to 2x10. I'll probably do one for each episode (as long as it holds my interest) and they'll all stay as close to cannon as I can keep them (i.e. I will not change anything drastic so it could actually have happened in the Rookie Blue world).
I don't own the characters - I just borrow them for over-time and return them none-the-worse for wear ;)
Gail closed the bedroom door behind her, numbly peeling the wet clothes from her body as she stumbled to the dresser. Pulling random sweats and tank top from it she dressed with shaky hands. She wanted to take a bath;wanted to just lie in the scalding water until her skin was all pruney, until the chill in her bones went away and the world made sense again. But she knew it probably wouldn't work, and she wouldn't venture back out into the apartment to even try.
It wasn't often that Gail wished she had a BFF (hated the term even) – she wasn't capable of the selflessness and emotional nurturing they required; couldn't counsel others on their feelings when she was so far removed from her own – but it was times like this that she envied the closeness Andy and Traci shared. The way they had each other's backs no matter what and stood together come hell or high water. She'd been getting along with them better lately, mostly for Chris' sake, but they were still far from being friends. Light years from being BFFs. And there was no doubt in Gail's mind who was going to bear the brunt (if not all) of the blame for the situation. All they'd see was that the Ice Queen was coming between the guys and they'd assume it was some maliciously calculated plan on her part to… well, she didn't know what, but she was sure they'd think of something. It wouldn't matter that Gail hadn't asked for this, wouldn't matter that she still wasn't altogether certain what this was; all that would matter was that the guys were at odds and she was the cause of it.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror, eyes glazed and face paler than usual, Gail passingly wondered when she'd started caring what they thought of her. And how to make it stop.
"Gail?"
Her reflection grimaced. "Go away, Dov." She couldn't deal with him right then, with his selective memory and feigned innocence.
"We need to talk…"
When the knob began to turn Gail picked up the first thing her hand fell upon and whipped it at the door with all the strength she could muster, the perfume bottle shattering against the wood in an explosion of glass and liquid. The turning stopped, and she blinked away frustrated tears.
After a brief internal debate with his sense of self-preservation Dov risked opening the door. He found her leaning over the dresser, facing the mirror with her eyes closed. "Gail…"
Why did the boy never listen? Shutting her eyes tighter she quietly ordered, "Go play with your girlfriend, Dov."
"Sue left." It might have been the disappointment she'd read in his voice. Or maybe it was the way he'd continued staring at the bedroom door long after Gail had disappeared behind it. She hadn't said anything but Dov knew she knew.
Unable to dredge up her usual sarcasm Gail offered a strangely emotionless, "Sorry for ruining your play date."
Everything about her, her posture, her tone, was just defeated, and it killed him. "What happened?"
Gail finally opened her eyes to meet his in the mirror. "Turns out Chris isn't too thrilled with the thought of his girlfriend making out with his best friend." She raised an eyebrow, at the very least expecting a very good explanation.
Dov tried to figure out what she was talking about, brow furrowed, until he found the source of the misunderstanding. "He asked me if I'd kissed you and I had to say yes..."
"How convenient of your memory to come back just in time to throw me under the bus…" Gail marvelled. She'd been trying to protect him (okay, both of them) and he'd gone and made her out to be a cheater. And she couldn't help but think he'd done it on purpose.
Hearing the accusation in her tone Dov shook his head, taking a few steps towards her, stopping at the warning glare her reflection was giving him. "He didn't give me a chance to explain…" he defended helplessly.
Gail turned around, scoffing in disbelief. "Do you even get the position you put me in? You dropped this bomb on me, Dov..." Her voice cracked and she had to swallow before she could continue, "You turned my whole world upside-down and then acted like it didn't happen. And I'm trying to deal…" God, was she trying...
Her eyes were glossy and he could tell she was trying not to cry. "Gail…"
She cut him off with a sharp wave of her hand. Taking a deep breath she willed herself not to say anything she couldn't take back, willed the lump in her throat to go away so she could choke out, "But it's not fair that you're in our kitchen playing happy couple with your clueless little girlfriend while my relationship is imploding…"
Dov could have told her that pretending to be happy with Sue was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment but it was hardly the point. "I'll tell him what really happened, Gail," he promised softly. "I'll make him listen."
Gail shook her head in resignation, dropping to sit on the bed before her unsteady legs had a chance to give out. "It won't matter," she admitted hoarsely. Dov could swear up and down that she hadn't done anything to reciprocate (she hadn't, she kept telling herself) but it wouldn't make a difference either way. Chris was more upset by what it meant than the physical betrayal itself. And even if he wasn't exactly right about what had happened he wasn't exactly wrong about that.
It sounded so final that Dov was torn between guilt and hope. And then self-disgust for hoping for something that was so obviously making her miserable. Sitting next to her, careful not to touch, he asked gently, "What do you mean?"
"Nothing." Saying it aloud would be like saying Chris was right, like she was accepting the end of her relationship, and Gail wasn't ready for that. "Just forget it."
Yeah – 'cause 'forgetting' had worked out remarkably well for them so far. "Talk to me, Gail…"
Talking to him is what had gotten her into this mess in the first place; all those late nights playing DeathDomain and chugging margaritas while Chris recovered from the stabbing. Things had been so much simpler when he was just that annoying loser who dared think she had a crush on him. Gail would laugh at the irony if she weren't almost certain it would turn into a sob. "Dov, just go…" If Chris walked in on them it would only make things worse.
Dov knew what she was worried about; saw her keep glancing out into the apartment like she was expecting to get caught at any moment. And he got it. But he couldn't just leave her sitting in the room all night waiting for Chris to come home. "I fixed our game console…" he suggested lightly.
Giving him a dubious look Gail corrected, "Don't you mean your game console?" She didn't know if he'd been so quick to clarify because his girlfriend had been there, or if it'd bothered her more because of it, but she was tempted to tell him just where he could shove the game console.
Despite the arched eyebrow Dov could tell the comment had hurt her. He hadn't meant it to, at least not consciously. It was just that ever since she'd moved in he kept trying to re-establish the boundaries she so casually defied, needed to stop thinking of everything in terms of 'ours' because it only fed the fantasy that refused to die. She may share a bedroom with Chris (and other things Dov didn't even want to think about) but sometimes it felt like he was as much in a relationship with her as his best friend was. And he wondered if she knew how much that hurt him. Or if she even cared. "Do you want to see if your high scores are still there or not?" he huffed.
Gail wasn't fooled by the act, had seen the maelstrom of emotions flashing behind his eyes, and it made her heart constrict painfully. This whole time she'd been so preoccupied with her and Chris that she hadn't even thought about how it was affecting Dov. She'd been so busy trying to ignore her feelings for him that she'd completely disregarded his feelings. And that wasn't fair, either.
The look she was giving him was the same one she'd had when he'd made the Great Confession, all sadness and confusion and pity, and Dov was afraid she was going to tell him her high scores didn't matter anymore because she was done with video games. Either because she wanted nothing more to do with him or because Chris wouldn't approve.
She wanted to take it all away: the rejection, the guilt, the hurt. And she could if she'd just tell him the truth. But Gail couldn't bring herself to do it; not when all their relationships were teetering on a ledge and that little admission could well be the thing that sent them toppling over it. Couldn't tell him that he may have put her in this position but it was her own feelings that kept her there… Bumping his shoulder she stood up and headed towards the living room, teasing over her shoulder, "You'd better hope my high scores are still there, Epstein…"
Dov blinked at the sudden movement, the sudden change in mood, then decided better than to question it. "Quaking in my boots, Peck…" he countered loudly, a relieved smile on his face as he followed her.