Summary: Guess which moron went looking for a good, semi-complete sibling-who-lived story – this one! I'm so disgusted, so frustrated with some of the crap that's out there, some of the things authors are throwing in just make me want to bash my head against the wall. So you know what I'm going to do about it – I'm going to bash the snot out of those bloody annoying clichés and authorisms.

Hold onto your flip-flops ladies and gentlemen, we're about to dive into the twisted world of immoral, sarcastic, vile and wonderful parody. If I do this right you'll be wanting to bash your head too (don't though) as you laugh manically.

All my usual warnings: sex, drugs, rock and roll, bad language, limited attention to grammar and inevitably implied insults….

Hi guys :-) this is like my first fic eva! So plz review! I totally luv Harry lol he's like the cuteest (lol, I can neva spell that word lol) movie hero eva! (haha! U kno I'm rite lol). This fic is about Harry has a bro that evry1 reckons is the bwl and so their all really mean to Harry. I totally suk at sums lol but read neway! and review! or I wont update, lol, no ill prob still update but ill be mad wiv u – not really lol. Ok on wiv the story!

oooooooooooooooooo (isn't it pretty lol)

Lily and James Potter were really in love with each other and they were going to have a baby they were both really surprised when the doctor told them they were actually going to have twins and they knew they were going to be the best parents in the world. (yeah rite lol)

One year later Lily Potter who was really pretty except she had icky freckles dramatically pushed out two baby boys. One had her green eyes and Jameses black hair, the other had her red hair and Jamesss hazel eyes, cos there like the only genetic options dah! (woops I meant to put that in ()lol)

James and Lily Potter were wizards so were all their friends except for Lilys family cos her sister wasn't and she was really mean about wizards being freaks. So anyway, the two babys were baby wizards and they were both really cute but Harry was really little and fragile looking while Sunnybum was very strong and big baby. Albus Dumbledore who was principal of the wizarding school and leader of a war organisation came to see the Potters one day and told them their was a property that said one of the kids was going to be the saviour of the wizarding world. Not at all doubting his words, having named there child after his special talents, right away they pronounced Sunnybum a supa dude.

One night this really evil bad guy called Voldemort who Sunnybum was supposed to save the world from came to the Potter house and only stunned Lily and James. Then cos he's like really smart in an evil way, he knows that Harry is really the supa powerful dude, so he tries to kill Harry. Harry was a really curious 1 year old so he asked the bad dude "what are you doing"

"I am going to kill you said Voldie

"what does kill mean" asked Harry with innocent curiosity(he was only one!) "is it like what happens when you take too many analgesics?"

"umm probably" said Voldemort taking pity on the neglected child that was powerful and reminded him of him. He fired the curse anyway though but the spell thingy did something and came back at him (theirs a real word for that isn't they're? no idea lol) So then he was like dead and their was a big bang and the ceiling fell down or something and Sunnybum got a cut too. When everyone came they all thought that Sunny had destroyed the bad guy so the whole world reckoned he was a really great guy.

5 years later oooooo(pretty!)

Harry was neglected a lot and his parents had anger management issues too so they hit him all the time and he was always covered in bruises and suffered horrible curses etc. One day Harry decided he didn't like this anymore so he ran away and lived on the streets of muggle London which must have been close to his house cos he didn't need to catch a bus or anything, but he was super fit for a 6 year old. So he lived on the streets where he was always starving and fighting for his life, but he never wanted to go home cos he hated his really mean parents. One day he made friends with some other kids, who knew some smarter kids who knew some prostitutes who knew some assassins. So he had lots of friends and learnt all the things they taught him plus he discovered his magic and could do anything he wanted with it whenever he wanted. So by the time he was 7 he was a master thief, assassin, prostitute and everything else and was untouchable in the London underground (like criminals, not the train lol)

10years later – 5years + 1 year… Harry is 11 oooooo (still pretty!)

Harry got a letter to go to Hogwarts and accepted even though he really didn't need to go to school cos he was like a genius but he did anyway cos he wanted revenge on his family. So he went shopping and brought all his school textbooks plus lots of other books and some manga and a cauldron and a spare gold cauldron cos he liked to show off and lots of nice robes and his school robes and a many compartmented (omg what a big word lol) trunk which is like a suitcase but bigger and lots of other stuff too. He had a very busy day shopping. The next day he got on the train to go to school but he didn't make any friends on the train because he was anti social and had plans to kill them all at a later date. As soon as he arrived at school everyone recognised he must be Harry Potter (how many black haired kids with green eyes could there be dah!) and they tried to make nice with him because they realised he was super duper but he ignored them cos he hated them – both his parents were teachers at the school, there aren't a lot of other jobs in the wizarding world.

One day Voldemort came to the school and they all had a big fight on the front lawn and Voldemort told everyone that Harry was the real bwl (bacon wettuce and lamato HAHAHAHAHA I'm so funny lol) and everyone felt really bad for being mean to him but Harry didn't care. He didn't want to join Voldemort he wanted to be the only evil ruler of Wizarding Britain but even though he was heaps more super powerful then Voldemort he got kidnapped anyway and Dumbles really wants him back.

AN the end chappie 1 – wat u think, plz r&r – will he join Voldie? Will he forgive his parents? Will anything be resolved? Not telling till I get 1million reviews! Lol

Of course the bloody morons DO get a million reviews but you still know they're never going to update.

Was that fun? I'll tell you what, it's bloody hard to keep in the character of an idiot. I can literally hear my brain cells slamming doors in my mind. They're saying "Bitch – you keep talking like that and you're on your own"

On that note I deeply apologise if my idiot self managed to get a single there, their or they're right in the story – how terribly grammatically competent of me would that be.

Anyway, hope you liked it. For the preservation of my sanity and brain cells it is most definitely a oneshot.

Katty xx