Title: Cause and Effect

Author: YappiChick

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Stargate: Atlantis.

Author's Note: This is a total plot free oneshot. Drunk!John makes an appearance so if that stuff offends you, turn back now. As always, please R&R. Thanks!

Teyla walked down the corridor, exhausted after her day on Athos. The new crops were plentiful and her people needed help harvesting them. Despite her tiredness, she was satisfied. Her people had plenty to trade; they would prosper this year.

As she was walking down the corridor, she could swear she heard a man singing off-key. She stopped walking. There was someone singing. Changing her course, she went to find who was making that noise.

She walked briskly towards the man. As she approached the corner, she began to hear his words, "Eighty eight bottles of beer on the wall…Eighty eight bottles of beer. You take one down pass it around…eighty seven bottles of beer on the wall."

She shook her head. Despite spending so much time with the people on this expedition, sometimes she found them so confusing. Turning the corner, she came face to face with John Sheppard.

"Oh, hey Teyla," he said with a big toothy grin.

She sniffed his breath. "Have you been drinking, Colonel?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yes. All my life. See, when I was a baby, I drank from a bottle. Then I moved to a cup. Now I drink from a bottle. But this time it's a beer bottle." He looked extremely pleased with himself.

She closed her eyes and asked the Ancestors to give her patience. "May I ask why you have been drinking?"

"Yes," he answered simply.

When no response came, she asked, "Why have you been drinking, Colonel?"

"Uh uh," he said. "We're off the clock. Try again." The grin was back again.

She would not get annoyed. After all, she decided to pursue the mystery singer. "All right, why have you been drinking tonight, John?"

"Because Dr. Morales is getting married," he answered.

"But his wedding is not until tomorrow," Teyla replied, confusion in her voice.

"Right, but tonight was his bachelor party," he explained.

There were times, like these, when she wished she knew all of earth's customs. "And that would be?"

He became very serious. "I can't tell you. It's part of the man code." He leaned in close to her ear. "But, I'll let you in on a secret: there was drinking involved."

Truly, seeing a drunken colonel was quite humorous, she had to admit. "Really? I could not tell," she said dryly.

For a second, it looked as though he was trying to figure out if she was serious. Finally, he settled on leaning against the wall with a dreamy look in his eye. "You know, when you and I get married, I don't need a bachelor party."

Her eyes widened. When they got married? Had she missed something? Like a relationship that went to the next level?

Fortunately for her, John didn't seem to notice her discomfort. Instead, he kept talking. "I certainly wouldn't want anything to ruin the wedding, especially suffering from a hangover all day. And, if you found out there were strippers, you would kick my ass, wedding day or not."

Forcing herself to focus on what he was saying, she frowned. "Strippers?"

He smiled again. "Yeah you know…" He started taking off his shirt to illustrate his point.

"Colonel!" Teyla hissed, pushing his shirt back on him.

Before she could pull away, he wrapped his arms around her. "I said we're off the clock." She saw him looking at her with another smile. "I'm going to kiss you now," he whispered.

Teyla froze. Was this how she pictured kissing John? Drunk and adorable? No, she admitted, but nothing was predictable when it came to the colonel.

Slowly, he lowered his lips to her own. His aim was off, half of his lips kissing the side of her mouth, but it was the perfect kiss. It symbolized him perfectly, she thought, as he kissed her again: unique, passionate, and irresistible.

Finally, he pulled away. "Wow!" he said loudly. "You're a good kisser!"

Though the halls were empty, Teyla's face colored. For a moment, she had forgotten he was drunk. "Come on, John, let's get you back to your quarters. I have a feeling you are going to have a rather large headache in the morning."

With a grin, he put his arm around Teyla's shoulders and started singing, "Me and Teyla sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"