Sam sat on the front row not listening to a word Jack was saying to the crowd of people. Her mind was elsewhere, thinking of the many moments she had encountered with Phil over the years. Regret was seeping into her thoughts at a very fast rate and she had no way of controlling it, if only she could concentrate on what her DCI was telling her. She shook her head to rid the thoughts but it was no use she was in deep.
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too Long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
Cause you know, you know, you know
Why did I tell him it would never work? This question was whizzing round her head it almost made her feel sick. She closed her eyes and thought back to a previous Christmas party, she could almost here the sound of the music as it played the last song of the night.
' Dance with me' He sounded so charming, how could she refuse? She could still smell the aftershave he wore, feel his breath on her neck and taste his lips as they shared a kiss.
I love you
I've loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
But he was a womaniser, she couldn't forget that, but he had changed…for her. Her eyes began to feel moist, blinking back the tears that were forming she tried once again to listen to what Jack was saying. But it was no use she had slipped into her dreamy state once again. She saw the look of worry and concern on his face when she told him she was pregnant. And at that moment she thought ' why couldn't it have been his?'. She relived those few agonising days when she lost everything, her boyfriend, her baby. She had felt so empty and alone, until her friend put his arms around her and enveloped her in his safety.
On my knees. I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I wont give up
Cause you know, you know, you know
Sam thought back to everything they had been through and laughed silently as she thought to herself ' why do I nearly always get killed when I'm with you? ' this received a few glances from her colleagues and she quickly focused her attention back to Jack. Romania. She heard that! Why of all things he was saying did she have to hear that? Suddenly she felt the fear and panic from that trip run through her as she relived her and Phil's ordeal. At least I slept with him, she thought, that was a bonus. Her heart rate quickened and her breathing shallow, she could feel him inside her once again.
That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'd never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
As Sam found herself being ushered outside, underneath the blanket of clouds which soaked her as she walked, she thought back to one last memory. They had received a phone call with a tip-off of drugs deal, it was going down, tonight. Sam walked across the office and perched on Phil's desk, he looked up at her grinning, a grin she will never forget. They spoke about the deal and arranged everyone into their places. Soon the house was surrounded. ' GO GO GO' echoed throughout Sunhill's radio's. The suspects fled, and Sam and Phil gave chase down the road, shouting into their radio's. A suspect stopped suddenly and turned to face Sam and Phil who stopped in their tracks. He lifted a gun from his pocket and in slow motion pulled the trigger. Sam was sure she could see the bullet travelling toward them, like a shooting star on a clear night.
Sam almost walked straight into Gina as everyone stopped suddenly. Sam's thoughts went back to the shooting star, Phil dived for Sam knocking her to the ground. When she opened her eyes she could see Phil lying on top her ' Hes gonna be loving this' she thought. But as she wriggled her way from him, he turned over, blood pouring from his chest like a ruptured volcano. She could still feel the sticky substance as it pooled around them. Her brain flicked quickly to the next the scene, she was stood at St Hugh's with Jack as the doctor spoke softly. 'Im sorry, we did everything we could but the bullet killed him straight away, he didn't stand a chance.'
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
Sam stepped closer to the crowd that had gathered round, she stood and watched as Phil's coffin was gently lowered into the ground.
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me, and never let me go
Keep breathing
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me, and never let me go
Sam threw down her handful of soil and single white rose, as she saw it bounce down on the oak coffin she fell to her knees, crying out for him, all the regret and passion building up inside her as she finally whispered, ' I'm so sorry Phil, I should have told you, I should have told you when I had the chance. I love you, I've loved you all along.'
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go.
