He was the black to my white. The moon to my sun. The hell to my heaven. He was absolutely everything I could have wished for, yet he was taken from me. Over and over again he was taken from me. First by every girl at Hogwarts who fancied him while he still thought of me as a friend. Then by all those Order missions he had to attend to while leaving me to worry about him at home. Taken by Azkaban for all those years while my heart ached for every second. Never was I allowed to have him for myself. Never was I allowed.
Every day I just stared out the window feeling the empty void take hold of my soul. Wondering how he was faring with all the dementors trying to steal away his happiness. It wasn't fair that just as he confessed his love for me and I for him that he was taken. It just wasn't fair! Always out of grasp. Always one step away from me. Always in my thoughts. Always near me when the sadness was too much to bear, but never near enough. Never near enough to truly comfort me. Never mine.
It wasn't fair that everyone I had ever cared for was taken from me. First Lily and James, then Frank and Alice. What was the world coming to where everyone in my life kept getting knocked off? One after another, gone. Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone from this wretched life where one wasn't able to walk the streets of Hogsmeade for fear that they were going to be killed by a Death Eater.
Then there was the light at the end of the tunnel. The hope in my heart upon hearing of his escape. Finally we would be together again. Finally the pain inside my chest would be quenched. We would be together again and I would feel whole, but he couldn't stay for long. He had to keep on the move. Had to go find the man who betrayed his best friends. Had to go and find the traitor. Had to go and leave me by myself to worry about him getting caught again.
So, I waited and watched for any news in the daily prophet of his capture. I waited for his brightly colored birds to arrive with letters for me to assuage my worries. I had to walk through my days as a ghost with my mind not on my work or my colleagues and I was once again drifting into the shadow of the person I once was.
Then, out of the darkness I was pulled when I got an Owl from Sirius. An actual Owl! It said he was living at his old house, considering I knew where that was, and I was supposed to meet him there as soon as I was able. Naturally, I sped over there and was surprised to see how full the place was. Members of the Order, as I was later told, were zooming around the place making it habitable.
Down the hallway I ran and I was surprised to see how gaunt he looked. He was sitting in a chair talking to my old friend Molly Weasley and I immediately asked her if I could be alone with Sirius. It was a joyous reunion and I was more than delighted to be with him again. That year I was happier than I had been in a long time. I met Harry, Lily and James' son. Everything seemed to be getting better.
One night I was called away from Grimmauld place to see an old friend of mine who had just returned from her exile in America. Upon returning to my current home, I noticed that nobody was there. I frantically searched every room in the place and my heart sped within my chest. Where was he? Dumbledore had specifically forbidden him from leaving the house, and he wasn't there. An Immediate sense of foreboding filled my senses. Running to the Floo, I specifically sent a message to just about every Order member I could think of, yet no one responded. Where were they? Why was I the only one not informed? What was happening?
Not sure of what to do, I sat in front of the fireplace in a dusty old floral chair waiting for someone, anyone to return. An hour later, maybe more and maybe less, someone finally emerged from the fireplace and the look his face wasn't good. Why was Remus so sullen? Was the full moon coming closer? I didn't think so, but my fear was worsened when he grasped me into a tight hug.
"Remus, Remus what's wrong? Where's everybody? What happened?" I gasped fervently needing information. He looked to his feet and said nothing. "Tell me. I need to know." I whispered and tears filled in my eyes.
"He's dead, Ellie. Sirius is dead." Remus whispered back and took me in another hug. The floor dropped from under me and all feeling was taken away from me. I couldn't walk; I couldn't breath; I couldn't do anything.
Snapping out from my daze, tears flooded down my cheeks and I covered my eyes with my hands. How was it finally happening?
Back when he was in Azkaban, at least I knew he was alive. At least there was that fleeting hope that I would see him again. At least I had hope that we would be together some day. Now that was all gone. Now I knew I could never see him alive again with that wonderful smile upon his face. We would never be together. Never be together, only in death.
"Sirius, My dear Sirius." I gasped out as Dumbledore lead me to be by myself. To a lone room to wallow in my sorrow. The room marked with red and gold and Muggle posters on the wall. Where the love of my life spent his childhood. It was there that I died in my sleep. All in order to be with him.
For we were Black and White, the ultimate pair.