Loss

When the knocking sounded at her door, she just knew that it would be him. They hadn't set a date nor had he given any mention that he would be visiting... she just knew. She didn't really bother to think before calling out, "It's open!" As usual he strode in, as though he owned the place, and followed the sound of chopping. He found her in the kitchen, smashing a blade repeatively against a small bundle of carrots.

She smiled, never taking her eyes off her work at hand, and spoke out ot him. "So what's the occasion this time? Are you hungry? I've just started, but the soup I'm making shouldn't take too long... There's enough for the two of us." The sound of the knife hitting the counter resounded in sharp smacks.

"Sakura," he began slowly. "Hm?" She snuck a glance towards him, all dressed up in his Jonin attire. It really suited him, although she had told him that the green vest clashed with his eyes. He had laughed, saying that he wasn't wearing it for fashion. 'It's a step closer to becoming the Hokage.' he told her. He still hadn't given up. Still a persistant brat, not that she minded much anymore. In fact, she found she rather liked it...

"I want to invite you to my wedding." The chopping ceased.

Her hand frozen in place, hovering just before hacking another slice of the vegetable off, she noticed the slight tremble in her fingers. 'Wedding?' She hadn't heard of a wedding. What wedding? Who was getting married?

She lifted her head slowly and gazed into his eyes. They weren't squinted like usual, though. They were wide and observant, watching her face for a reaction. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"I'm marrying Hinata, and I want you to be there." The knife clattered noisily against the countertop. "Hinata?" she repeated, and the name tasted sour on her tongue. She had noticed that the two of them were together quite a bit, but she assumed it had been dealing with work. Hinata was working with the hospital and often tended to many patients with ties to Naruto. Hell, everybody had ties to Naruto. But when did Hinata's become so prominant?

Naruto's head bobbed and a smile broke out on his face. "Yeah! It's gonna be on the 18th, cause Granny Tsunade said that the weather should be warmed up by then. Hinata-Chan hasn't really said so, but I bet she would like a spring wedding. It's gonna be great!"

Sakura dipped her head briefly in a nod. Her eyes fell to the floor, staring at the dirty tile. 'Naruto's... getting married. It's so weird, I can't believe it. I know Temari and Shikamaru wed... but she's much older than we are and he's so mature. Naruto isn't mature like the rest of our class, and Hinata's not much better. They can't get married... They can't...' her head snapped up when his face pushed into view.

"Sakura?" he asked. And she wondered how long it had been since he had stopped calling her "Sakura-Chan" and since when he started calling her "Hinata-Chan".

"You're not upset, are you?" he reached out tentively and gently cupped her cheek. She shook her head, willing the tears to dry before they could fall. She couldn't cry in front of him. She couldn't be selfish, she wouldn't. How could she? For years and years she had turned him away, even after Sasuke left. She still turned him down because somewhere deep in her heart... she was still waiting for that bastard to come back. So how could she be so selfish? How could she tear apart the happiness he had created, the future he was weaving, simply because her own didn't turn out how she wanted... She wouldn't do that to Hinata... She couldn't do that to him...

She shook her head and forced out a smile. "Not at all!" she choked out. But he really was stupid, because he took her smile for real and exhaled pure glee. "That's great! So you'll come? You'll be at my wedding?" Her gaze bore into the tile, urging it to shatter and swallow her up. But it wouldn't, nothing was going to rescue her from this nightmare.

Her head nodded weakly.

He pumped a fist into the air, exclaiming loudly in his excitement. "I'm so happy! Thanks, Sakura!" He leaned over to her, pressing a kiss to her brow like old times. She shoved her hands into her apron to keep them from snatching a hold of him. 'He isn't mine to hold onto anymore...' she thought sadly. Her chest hitched painfully. Naruto pulled away, flashing her another of his infamous smiles before swiveling on his heel. "I've got to go tell her the good news!" he explained and rushed out the door. She watched him walk out, hearing the door slam shut behind him. She then let her head drop, and stared into the watery vision of blurred orange.

'How many times have I pushed him away... and given up my chance?'

I really hate when this happens:

When you get a cute idea to write but you just crawled into bed and you're exhausted and you know you have to go to sleep and get some rest because you have a test the next morning or something just as important, so you really need to go to sleep but you just can't because you have this great fic idea and you know it won't go away until you write it out...

Yeah... it sucks.