The Innocence of Lemons
Yeah. I just recently found out what lemons are… Grins. This is my Second D.N.Angel fic. I was peeling an orange while my friend talked about D.N.Angel and somehow this piece of crap ended up in my head. Set in a variation of the real universe where Krad isn't psychotic, Dark is exceptionally sadistic, and Satoshi doesn't need to be put on Prozac. Also, no offense meant to the fanfiction writing nerds as I am one myself. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the series D.N.Angel.
Dark sighed and stretched his long legs on Daisuke's coffee table. Satoshi quirked an eyebrow infinitesimally at the thief and Krad thrummed his fingers on the armrest of the chair he was sitting in. Daisuke was fishing for cold drinks from the outside refrigerator instead of the kitchen one in hopes of a lack of booby traps.
As if on cue, a resounding crash filled the house followed by something heavy dropping and the distinct snapping of the jaws of what sounded like pack of ravenous wolves. Satoshi cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Krad pounded his fingers against the armrest with increasing intensity. Dark, however, didn't seem at all perturbed, and said lazily, "Any of you been on any good fanfiction sites lately?"
Satoshi stared stoically at Dark and didn't even bother to reply. Krad, on the other hand, said, "Yeah. It seems like everyone only writes smut now though. Not that I mind, but you'd think these nerds wouldn't have enough experience in that department to write such graphic stuff,…"A noise that could have been a blow torch activating rose up from the garage and Dark chuckled.
"Yeah. Such sick minds. I kinda like the kinky stuff though, you learn something new every time." Footsteps pounded up the stairs.
"The great Dark Mousy learned the art of attraction from semi-pornographic fan based fiction?" Satoshi asked; the thought seemed to amuse him.
Dark leaned back farther into his chair. "Thank goodness for lemons…" he said, smirking lecherously.
Daisuke appeared with an armload of cans, crossing over to the kitchen for glasses and ice. "I like lemons," he said, ducking quickly when a punching glove on a spring flew out from where it was concealed in the cupboard. The threesome of teenage boys stared disbelievingly at their friend until they realized he had no idea of what they were talking about.
Dark smiled and decided to play along.
"Really Dai?" he said, concealing a grin.
"Oh yeah," Daisuke said, still searching for glasses and oblivious of the fun being poked at him. "Lemons in water are good," he continued and both Krad and Dark were stifling laughter, "Gives it an extra zip, you know?" Even Satoshi was beginning to smile.
"Oh, we know Dai-chan," Dark said and his friend continued.
"Yup. I think Dad said they're good for you. They make the body release happy endorphins or something…" at this, neither Krad nor Dark could hold their laughter in any longer and they burst into a fit of maniacal giggles.
Daisuke spun around, very confused, and rightly thinking that he was being made fun of.
"What's so funny?" he demanded, realizing all three of his friends where getting their daily dose of laughter at his expense. "All I'm saying is that lemons are delicious!" Dark rolled around on the floor, kicked his legs into the air and clutched his stomach. Krad was in a similar state. Only Satoshi retained any semblance of sanity.
He chuckled and patted a put-out Daisuke on the shoulder. "We'll tell you when you're older," he said. The angels just kept on laughing.
Yeah, how was that? Sorta short and not nearly as funny on paper as it sounded in my head. Plus, the conclusion was SO crappy. I wrote this in less than half an hour, and it was late. Me thinks I shouldn't submit it, but I write stuff so rarely that I'm gonna do it anyways, so yeah. Review please, if you feel so inclined to write a response I'd be eternally greatful,…