PROMPT: grasping

. . .

I did not ask for her to come into my life. I did not ask for her to become such a great part of me. Entering like storm and cementing her presence in every corner and crevice of my heart and mind. I did not ask her to enter into my life. But I never asked her to leave.

And In my regrets, I wish I could have held her tight.

Her

She was… is a moon. Glowing and pure. Hanging, flying, floating… above the earth in an elegant halo that surrounds it. It is one thing to be a sun that lights the light of day, but to be the moon that illuminates the darkness of night, she shines so much brighter than any sun could ever hope to be. Her presence was the like the light of the moon, and her eyes shone like the stars. I could not help but be sucked in by her radiance.

Her personality that was so much like the fall of snow, delicate yet resilient, and her being so much like the sword she wielded, powerful yet graceful and pure. She was someone who loved so whole-heartedly and so unapologetic – how much she cared for everyone was the only thing she never apologized for. Out of everything she thought she didn't deserve, the love everyone returned to her was the least of the things I wanted to give. Because every time the wisps of her hair would fall in her face while she tried to draw her ridiculous drawings, or her fingers would delicately grasp the hilt of her blade, she was like the light of a flame and everyone else a moth in her wake. And her smile… so innocent and carefree. She smiled for everyone, and she smiled for me. That smile that could fill the room and set the night aglow, in the haziest of autumn and rainiest of seasons, her smile is what could light up my whole world.

In the darkest of nights, she is my moon.

And as I watched her there, standing with her small frame towards me, face away; her brilliance was slowly fading. I could feel my hand twitch from within my pockets, like a lost child grasping in the darkness. My moon was disappearing from my sight, and I was powerless to stop it.

I wish I could have held her tight.

"Tell everyone I give them my best."

I should have held her tight.

"Okay."

In one last, fleeting glance, our eyes met, and that shimmer of the stars had already gone. Her eyes did not sparkle of the cosmos, but only held the dull shine of heavy rain. She was the moon, and the moon did not belong to the earth. She was the moon, and she did not belong to me.

"Bye, Rukia…"

She is gone.

"...thank you."

And the night had never seemed so dark.

. . .

August 2016
February 2017 - revised