It had been a rough two years for me.
In the time following the Christmas that had taken place what seemed like so long ago, I've found myself growing apart from my friends. Collins had been tutoring again; he was never home. Mimi and Roger had been wrapped up in each other ever since they'd found her. Snuggle, cuddle, be lovey-dovey, that was all they ever did. Mimi had moved in after a while, and I've been pushed to the side.
To be blunt, I'm fucking sick of it.
Maybe I'm just being selfish. After all, Mimi and Roger were in love, weren't they? Roger hadn't been truly happy for a while, and I really should just be happy for him. All the same, however, I find myself wishing Mimi would just disappear. And usually, I'm able to convince himself that I'm was just crowded. It had been just Roger and I for a while, so wasn't it just normal that I would need some time to adjust to having another person in the house?
Usually, that's just what I tell myself. But there are times when I think and I know that's not true. After all, hadn't I lived with Collins, Maureen, Benny, April, and Roger? And besides, Maureen counted as two people. So that was way more than that involved, and I know very well why he was feeling so upset. I don't want Mimi there because I want Roger to myself. Anyone would want a best friend, right? I don't like to think about it, but I know that I like Roger as more than a friend. I hadn't had a girlfriend in so long...
Of course, I never thought I was into guys. I never had been. I'm not gay, right? Right. I'm not Angel or Collins or Maureen or Joanne.
And that was why I'd never admit to myself that I really really like Roger. Loved him, even. I wouldn't admit it to myself, or to Roger. Ever. I don't want to ruin things.
Well, sometimes alcohol can cause one's feelings to come out uninvited.