Hey, kids. So listen up, this is my first fanfic! Whooo, yes, it's exciting, I know. Anyways, just don't expect it to be a work of art or anything. And I dedicate this story to my friends Abbey, Daron, and Santiago. I hope you enjoy it.
"GAHHHHHHHHHH!" I suddenly found myself on the floor beside my four-poster bed, tangled up in the ruby red curtains.
I looked up and saw my best friend and dorm mate, Marlene Young, staring at me.
"Lily, what the bloody hell are you screaming about? Are you alright?"
"Yea, fine, just fell on my arse. Oh, and I also had a the worst nightmare of my life."
"What about?"
"Well I was kissing Potter and-"
"That explains the screaming…" she interrupted, smirking.
I just looked at her, giving her my infamous Lily Evans glare (I was rather notorious as a six-year Prefect. Most of the students at Hogwarts had suffered from my evil eye, but it was James Potter and his fellow Marauders who were on the receiving end of it most frequently).
"Would you let me finish?"
"Sorry," she apologized. "Go on… I'm rather curious about Potter's snogging skills."
"VOM!" I shouted before continuing. "So anyways, we were kissing and it was actually kind of alright. I … well I just… I think I didn't completely hate it…?" I trailed off, looking up to see her reaction.
I shouldn't have looked. The huge grin spreading across her face made me cringe. I knew she wasn't going to let me forget this.
I rushed to speak before she could say anything. "Er-you know what, never mind. I must have mistaken Potter for someone else or-or something."
Even as I said it, I knew Marlene wasn't going to believe me. She'd heard me complain on and on about James Potter's insufferable-well, everything. I mean, his hair was impossible, for starters. Never, in my six years with him at Hogwarts, had I seen his hair tidy. He was always reaching up his hand and messing it up. Probably wanted to look as if he'd just got off his broom, the prat. Just because it was so soft… (I knew this because Dream Lily had run her hand through Dream James' hair and, well, it was quite a brilliant sensation… only because Dream James wasn't real, of course). And those eyes… hazel. Sometimes they were green, sometimes brown, and other times they were a whole myriad of in-betweens. Just because all of Hogwarts' female population (including the teachers.. yes, I know… EW.) was under his stupid spell, that didn't mean anything to me. I mean, so what if he was good at Quidditch? And so what if he had the body to prove it? So what if he did well in classes without trying hard, if he excelled at Transfiguration while I struggled so much with it? So what if he was loyal to his friends Sirius, Remus, and Peter? Er- where was I? Right, insufferable git. The point was, James Potter and I had a history (albeit, not the good kind), and Marlene knew there was no way I could confuse him for another bloke, even in a dream.
"No ma'am, you are not copping out of this one, Lil. You had a dream about snogging James Potter." She paused, probably waiting for me to get her point (Ha! Fat chance! I would deny, deny, deny until my last breath). "You. And James Potter. Snogging! Do you know what this means?"
"Er… I'm so desperate that I'll snog anything with genitalia?" I tried, knowing it wasn't the answer she was looking for but refusing to humour her.
"No!" she strode over to the floor, offered me a hand (I still hadn't risen from my fall, too shocked by my nightmare), and helped me to my feet. "Lil, look at me." She put a hand on either of my shoulders to keep me from escaping. "You, Lily Lucienne Evans, fancy James Whatever Potter."
I felt my jaw drop, making my mouth a gaping hole. I truly could not speak. I had so many things to say but just couldn't verbalise them. I mean, really! Me, fancy Potter? No way. No bloody way. I hated his guts! How dare she accuse me of such a thing! And what was that noise… was she laughing? She was! Marlene was laughing at me!
"Weyy, close your mouth, Lil, before you catch a Snitch in there." She then laughs. Again. At ME. I managed to gather my thoughts a bit and lift my jaw to a more reasonable position.
"You don't know anything, Marlene! Nothing! Absolutely nothing. The day I fancy James Potter is the day trolls roam the halls of Hogwarts!" Marlene just smirked at me. I broke away from her hold and started pacing the dormitory.
"I mean, really! Why on earth would you think I'd ever fancy someone like him? He's arrogant-"
"Some call it charming," Marlene interrupted me.
"-He and his mates pranks people for no good reason-"
"Lil, they haven't pranked anyone this year besides the Slytherins, and really, who can blame them?"
"-And he asks me out constantly! -"
"He's only asked you thrice this year and it's already second term!"
"-He thinks he's some sort of god on the Quidditch pitch-"
"I mean, he is the best Chaser Hogwarts has had in decades…"
"-He musses up his hair as if he's just rolled out of bed-"
"Lil, the witches here would argue that that merely adds to his charm and good looks… Plus, half the time he really has just rolled out of bed."
"-Right, he's lazy, barely puts forth any effort in classes-"
"You're just bitter about that because he matches you in nearly every course except for Transfiguration, where he actually does better than you."
"CHARMS!" I yelped quite shrilly. "I'm better than him in Charms!"
"Lil, just listen to yourself. You're practically in hysterics! The only reason besides James Potter that you ever freak out this much is when you've an important exam coming up."
"Right! See! Fancying him is bad for my health!" I exclaimed, grasping for something with which to prove Marlene wrong.
"Is? Did you say is?" Marlene's smirk grew into a full-blown grin. "Is, as in, present, as in, you fancy James Potter?"
I stopped pacing to shoot her a scowl. "Don't be ridiculous Marlene, I just meant that-well, you said I fancy him, and I only meant-bad for my health and-UGH!" I resumed my pacing and ran my hands through my hair in frustration.
"Lily," Marlene said kindly. I ignored her and kept walking back and forth the space between my bed and hers. It was a good thing that our other dorm mates were early risers, or I'd surely be bothering them with all the commotion. "Lily!" Marlene snapped, and I halted, looking at her. "For heavens' sake, calm yourself and quit the whole stomping thing."
"I don't fancy James," I whispered. "Right?" I looked at her imploringly. "I can't fancy James, Marlene."
"Lily, listen. I know you find him attractive-no, you let me finish what I'm saying!" She cut me off, knowing I was about to protest. "I know that you find him attractive because: A. You're not blind, and B. Why else would you dream about snogging him? Your subconscious has accepted it, whether you've admitted it or not. Now, the reasons you listed earlier about why you hate him are completely bogus-No, you keep your mouth shut, I've not finished yet! - All of the things that he does that you hate, he doesn't do anymore! You had this dream about him for a reason, Lily, and I'll be damned if I don't help your subconscious in giving you a shove in the right direction. Now get dressed, we're going to breakfast."
I just looked at her. Her little speech had shocked me. I was surprised at how right she was. She had certainly given me some things to mull over, which I did as I put on my uniform and went about my morning routine. When I came out of the bathroom, she was waiting for me, all ready to go.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get a move on!" She headed for the door without so much as a backward glance at me. I hurried after her
I silently followed Marlene as she marched purposefully down to the Great Hall, not saying a word as she rambled cheerfully on about some bloke- something McKinnon- who had smiled at her in Defense Against the Dark Arts the other day. I sat down across from her when she plopped down a few metres away from the Marauders at the Gryffindor table, and merely piled some food on my plate as she did the same.
"Now then," she said, rather matter-of-factly, "do you fancy James or not?"
"Marlene!" I hissed indignantly, shooting a glance down the table at the Marauders, who were thankfully too busy poking fun at Peter to hear Marlene's question. However, Potter must have that weird sixth-sense thing going on or something, because he turned and looked at me almost as if he had felt me staring. I immediately blushed-simply from embarrassment that I had been caught looking at him, not for any other reason- but didn't look away. He grinned his lazy grin at me, the kind that always seemed to take forever to make it across his face, and then turned away, instantly rejoining Sirius Black in teasing their mate Peter Pettigrew.
"Hello, earth to Lily?" Marlene waved her hand in front of my face, bringing my attention back to her.
"Right, sorry… What was the question?" she sighed.
"Lily. Do. You. Like. Potterrr," she said slowly, treating me like I was about three.
"Merlin, I'm not an infant, Marlene!"
" Well you've got the attention span of one at the moment. It's an easy enough question. So what'll it be? Yes? Or… no?" she asked, looking at me sharply.
I sighed and lifted my gaze to the ceiling while I pondered a bit. Marlene was right, it was an easy enough question, but somehow, to me, the answer wasn't quite as easy as a simple yes or no. Had I been convinced for the past five and a half years that I hated Potter? Yes. Had Marlene proven all of my reasons for hating him to be invalid just this morning? Well, yes… To tell the truth, she had been quite right. Now that I thought about it, when was the last time Potter had hexed a non-Slytherin? I hadn't seen anything since mid-fifth year. And when had he last asked me out?
… Well, there was that incident on the back-to-school train just a few months ago when I became speechless at the sight of him at the platform. In my defense, it had been several months since I had seen him last, and summer had done wonders for him. Besides the obvious things like his more muscular body and the difference in his height, there had been something else about him, something I couldn't quite name. He somehow seemed more of a man and less like the boy who had caused me humiliation and pain with the O.W.L. incident right before holiday.
Anyway, he must have interpreted my shocked and speechless condition to mean that I was pleased to see him, as he grinned at me quickly drew me in for a hug before I could stop him. I was, after all, quite helpless at that point.
"Evans!" he said cheerfully. "How was your holiday?"
I nodded unwillingly. It seemed the only thing my body had been capable of doing at the time.
"Good, then?" he said after a pause, obviously a bit puzzled but still grinning like a loon. "So, d'you reckon you'd like to accompany me to the first Hogsmeade trip of the year? I heard there'll be one on Halloween. I thought I'd better ask you now before anyone else had the chance."
By then, I had come to my senses and managed a haughty "In your dreams, Potter" before turning away to look for Marlene. How ironic that I had said that when, so many months later, I was the one dreaming about him.
The other time he'd asked me out had been right before winter hols, and I really wasn't even sure it counted. I'd been walking alone to the Great Hall (I'd been finishing up one last paper before meeting Marlene for dinner) when I'd decided to take a shortcut. I had ducked into the corridor hidden behind the Godric Gryffindor tapestry and then promptly fell over as I ran into something. Or rather, someone… "Oh shit, Evans, are you alright?" Potter blurted as he helped me up. "Sorry, I was hiding from Filch (pah! Figures! The prankster…) and I wasn't expecting anyone to be coming through here 'cause nobody really knows about this…-hang on, how do you know about this?" He looked at me curiously.
I coughed, giving myself a moment to collect myself. "First of all, I'd thank you to let go of my hand now, Potter." He pulled it away, grinning sheepishly at me. "Secondly, you and your band of mates aren't the only ones who know a thing or two about Hogwarts. I myself happen to know the exact whereabouts of approximately thirteen secret passageways in this castle."
He just stared at me for a moment with a gleam of what I thought was admiration in his hazel eyes before catching himself and replacing his awestruck expression with a trademark smirk. "Really? I always thought you to be more of a goody two-shoes witch."
"Yes, well, people can often surprise you. Just because you think you've got everyone at this school categorized and labeled to your satisfaction, that doesn't mean that's who they actually are, Potter." His smirk practically melted off his face, to be replaced with a serious expression.
"I'll remember that, Evans." I stood there for a moment, caught in his gaze, before mentally shaking myself awake. I walked about but only made it a few steps away before his deep voice echoed after me in the dark corridor.
"By the way, Evans. There are way more than thirteen secret shortcuts and tricks at Hogwarts. I don't suppose you'd let me show you them sometime?" His face now held a wry grin.
"Well… No. I, er- I don't suppose I would."
And that was that. So I suppose the evidence was stacked against me. I couldn't help but admit that James Potter had changed, and for the better. And I couldn't deny that my dream hadn't felt real, hadn't felt wonderful and yet absolutely terrifying at the same time. I wondered what it would be like kissing him, for real. I glanced down the table at James, saw him laughing and joking around with his friends. He'd apparently just told a joke because Sirius was clutching his sides while laughing and Peter was practically falling to the ground. Even Remus was chuckling. I quickly looked back at Marlene before James could catch me staring. She was watching me intently.
I sighed. "Marlene, I… well, er, you see…"
"You're not sure," she said calmly.
"Yes." I buried my face in my hands. "I mean, it's not as if it's my fault I don't know what it feels like to fancy someone! I haven't got a lot of experience with the lads, you know? The farthest I've gone was holding hands with Amos Diggory at the Halloween Feast back in third year! How am I supposed to know if I fancy James or not?"
"Er, Lil…" Marlene said hesitantly. "You may have said that a bit loudly."
"Oh, Merlin," I moaned. I really should learn that sometimes your Library Voice should be used outside of the library. "Tell me he isn't looking over here."
"Well, er-you see, my mother always told me growing up that if I lied, I'd be sent to Azkaban…"
"Oh my Godric!" I groaned. "Well, how does he look? Disgusted? Frightened?"
"He looks a bit puzzled, actually," she said thoughtfully, "almost as if he can't believe his ears. He has got a hint of a grin, though… Oh, yes… Now he's smiling like it's Christmas all over again. Perhaps we should get out of here before he decides to come over here, Lil."
She didn't have to tell me twice. I skedaddled out of there faster than you could say holy hippogriff.
All day, I had trouble concentrating in classes. In Transfiguration I accidentally gave my hen a handle and spout instead of fully transfiguring her into a teakettle. In Defense Against the Dark Arts I wasn't listening, so when Professor McDonnell asked me a question, I just blurted the first seemingly reasonable thing that came to mind. Apparently it wasn't the correct answer; as my classmates laughed, Professor said, "No, Ms. Evans, an Ethereal Patronus is not what you would use if you were encountering an Inferi. Five points from Gryffindor." It was a disaster. I tried to pay attention, I really did, but James Potter kept fighting his way from the back of my mind and placing himself right at the center of my focus. In History of Magic, I found myself staring at him several times, each more embarrassing than the last. The first time he just grinned at me, as if he knew he was the cause of my distracted state. I mean, really! Just because I happened to zone off in his general direction a few times and he decides that I'm looking at him on purpose! Not that he wasn't right, but… well, that's beside the point. Where was I? Oh yes… The second time he caught my eye, he winked. No joke, he literally winked at me. The third time he scribbled something on a piece of parchment, crumpled it up, and threw it to me while Professor Binns was writing on the board. I reluctantly unfurled it and found his messy scrawl.
Evans, I know you can't help yourself, but do try to stop ogling me. Some of us are trying to learn here.
-JP
I mean, really! The nerve of him! To say that I was ogling him… What rubbish! Utter and complete rubbish. And insinuating that he was actually trying to learn! Where does he come off? I knew for a fact that he was either thinking about Quidditch or doodling some nonsense on his parchment. He never pays attention in class. Not even in Transfiguration, his best subject!
I had never been so relieved to hear the end-of-class bell. However, I wasn't able to leave right away. In my haste to throw my supplies into my bag quickly so I could escape, I knocked over my ink well.
"Son of a boggart! Oh, shit! Marlene, I've gone and spilled my ink. Could you wait while I clean this mess up?"
"Oh-er-actually, Lil, I've got to go and-er… save our seats! In the Great Hall! You know how crowded it gets at lunch so… I'll see you there!" With a quick apologetic grimace at me and a grin to something behind me, she dashes off, leaving me with a mess of ink. I look behind me and see that the classroom's cleared out except for the Marauders and myself. I saw Potter say something to the others and they had soon gone. Oh, Merlin, this did not bode well. I quickly turned back to my desk to deal with the mess that I'd made. I attempted to use Potter's note to soak up the ink like a cloth, but with no luck. I swore under my breath. She had so just made up that bit about lunch. Well, she'll be sorry when I refuse to visit her in Azkaban…
"Alright, Evans?" James Potter drawled almost lazily from behind me. I turned to face him and saw that he was only a few metres away and quickly closing the gap between us. To top it all off, he was grinning that grin that made you think he knew something you didn't know.
"Er-yes, you're quite fine- I mean! I mean, I'm quite fine. Not you. Not that you're not fine… you look reasonably healthy- I just didn't mean fine like… oh, bollocks. What do you want, Potter?" I could feel my face growing redder by the second as James' grin grew even bigger.
"I noticed you staring at me in class. Any particular reason, or is it just your usual attraction to me that caused you to gawk at me the entire class period?" I wish I could wipe that stupid smirk off his face. It was driving me crazy. Not to mention that my dream kiss with Dream James kept replaying itself in my mind as I stood there, gawking at James for what felt like the one-hundredth time that day. I wondered again what it would be like to kiss Real Life James, to run my hands through his Real Life Hair.
James apparently took my silence to mean that it was the latter reason- my "usual attraction to him"- because his smug grin was replaced by a serious expression and he took another step closer to me. He was now almost to me. His ever-changing eyes, now appearing to be a deep green, met mine in what felt almost like some sort of twisted staring contest.
"Will you go out with me, Evans?" he said sincerely for the first time I could recall. I blinked. Looks like I'd lost that round. Suddenly, my subconscious decided to give me a much-needed shove in the Real Life James direction. I felt myself closing the gap between James and me. His eyes widened. I lifted my hand to his head and ran it through his hair. He swallowed audibly. I pulled my hand down to his neck and stood on my toes, leaning in to meet his lips with mine.
After what felt like an eternity (a great one, filled with James' soft lips and his lush hair), I broke away. I stood there for a moment, catching my breath and regaining my bearings. When my breathing had become (somewhat) normal, I opened my eyes. James was looking at me as if I had suddenly sprouted another head. I, however, couldn't keep a smile off my face because guess what? Kissing Real Life James wasn't the same as kissing Dream James. It was even better. It was with this cheerful expression and peaceful state of mind that I said, "No, thank you."
I turned sharply with a newly cleared mind. I Vanished the ink (c'mon, Lily, are you a witch or what? Why didn't you think of that when you spilled the damn stuff?) and shoved my parchment and quills into my bag. I slung it over my shoulder and walked briskly towards the hallway. When I reached the door, I turned to look at James. He was standing there, seemingly in shock. His hand was raised to his mouth, and his fingers were on his lips as if checking to make sure they were still there.
My smile grew bigger, if that were even possible.
"I'll see you around… James."
As I walked into the corridor, I spotted Marlene waiting for me by the stairs. I knew she hadn't gone to "save our seats". She'd no doubt wanted to give Potter and me some alone time or something. I should be angry, but with what had just happened, I didn't have the energy or reason to.
"Look at you, grinning like a loon. I take it things went well?" Marlene said eagerly.
"You could say that," I said with a smirk, knowing that an evasive answer would drive her mad. I started down the stairs, leaving her staring at me from the top of the stairwell.
"What exactly is that supposed to mean? Lil? Lily! Do you fancy him or not?" she hurried to catch up to me.
"Perhaps," I said. She grinned widely.
"Say, Lil, is that a troll I see down there?" she said, pointing to a hefty Slytherin at the foot of the stairwell. She immediately started cracking up. I rolled my eyes. She thinks she is so funny sometimes…. "Lily loves Ja-ames, Lily loves Ja-ames…" she sang, off-key, might I add. "James and Lily sitting in a tree, S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G"
"Oh, shut it." I said, but couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face.
Ayyy, what up? I hope you liked it… If so, please review. If not, well, review and tell me why you didn't like it. Don't be mean though.