the goodbye girl

constant gardener, 2007.

rating: light language, some graphic violence, and sensuality.

notes: all episodes up to season four's 'fear itself.' references to S2's suffer the children and rebirth. S3's being tom baldwin, gone, terrible swift sword, and fifty-fifty. basically, you don't have to remember much in terms of dialogue. more so characters and settings. this story is about the past, rather than the future. you'll not need to worry too much about spoilers. there will be little bits here and there but most of this story will be made up purely of my own imagination.

notes 2: this story focuses mainly on relationships and important events in life. it's a highly diana centric piece of fiction, but it also surrounds the lives of tom baldwin, marco pacella, april skouris, meghan doyle, and ted garrity. before you even start reading, know that I am shipping: tom/diana, tom/meghan, garrity/meghan, marco/diana, marco/april. like I said before, i'm making this all up for the most part. just because i'm tired of seeing things not go my way on the show. so, yeah. enjoy.

credits: beta'd by my lovely friends purpleyin, jill, and coexistlove.

Room with a view.

This is your life, ending one minute at a time.

The restaurant had been jam-packed to the fullest. Which was surprising considering it's location on the outskirts of the city. Tom Baldwin hadn't thought that making reservations was necessary, but when he and his son pulled into the busy parking lot of 'Emory's' he came to find that he was very wrong. The service was slow and the best seats they could find were near the kitchen, where the sounds of chefs fumbling pots and pans did nothing to settle their stomachs. All and all, the food was decent at best and Tom's son, Kyle, thought it wise of them to skip desert.

The two arrived home a little after ten, both dissatisfied with their Saturday night and disheartened by the thought of the busy week that lay ahead for the both of them.

Tom took off his jacket. "Kyle, we could watch a movie if you want? Maybe grab some beers. My treat?"

Kyle, not looking the least bit enthused, shook his head. He had a lot on his mind through-out dinner and hadn't been the particularly cheerful guy that he normally was. Thankfully, however, it wasn't enough to make his father question his change in disposition. "You know what, dad? I think I'm just going to call it a night."

Tom hung his coat on one of the wooden latches near the door and nodded. He wasn't tired, nearly at all, but he could agree that the night wasn't seeming hopeful. "Well…" Tom took Kyle's jacket from him and hung it on top of his own. "Goodnight."

Kyle smiled warmly at his father and headed for the stairs when he noticed the bare mantel above the fire place from the corner of his eye. He stopped, turned fully to get a better look, than raised an eyebrow. "Did some redecorating?"

Tom came to stand in the archway that separated the living room and the foyer. In a matter of a few days he had come to realize that Alana, though he dreaded it, would not be coming back any time soon no matter how badly he wanted her to. He shook his head solemnly and shrugged. "Yeah. I guess so."

Kyle smiled lightly and continued walking up the stairs. "Goodnight, dad."

"Goodnight, Kyle."

Tom stood there for a moment, rekindling the thoughts in his head that told him that giving up, if only for awhile until he could find solid information, was indeed a good idea. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed a great breath of relief. He could live again, he decided then, if he let himself, if only a little.

Feeling less concerned about his faltering night, he strode in quick steps towards the phone. Picking it up with a thought, he dialed the only hope of restoring his life that he knew. His encouragement for moving on, and resolved, like he had on a few things tonight, to make a good decision.

-------

"You know, Maia. Being so busy isn't such a terrible thing. You'll get to meet new friends before school starts again, you'll get to spend some time with Ben, travel some more. Just because I'm not there doesn't mean that you have to put everything on hold. I'll be back in no time at all."

"I know. That's what Ben said."

"Great minds think a like." Diana Skouris laughed heartily into the phone and began typing something into a NTAC search engine on her lap top. She felt guilty even though she didn't appear that way, for focusing so much on her sister, and so little on her family over seas. Though, on the other hand, she felt it was only necessary to fix this issue with her sister. After all, it would be benefiting them as a family and not just her alone.

"Yeah, if you say so." Was the whiney response she got in return. Clearly, Maia didn't feel the same way.

"I do…" As no results appeared on her computer screen, an irritated expression emerged on her face. She scooted forward on the couch, careful not to shift her shoulder as to knock the phone out of place. Looking for April, was leading her right past nowhere. "Maia. It's getting late here. I'll have to go soon."

"Do you have to? It's still so early here!" Maia's sense of vacation had been drifting from her since her mother had left for Seattle. She was lonely there with Ben, having a lot to do, with little excitement. The days were starting to run together and missing her mother was now a hobby, not an emotion. "You can look for April and still talk to me at the same time, Mommy."

Hearing her daughter's frustrated tone over the phone brought her back to reality and she finally closed her lap-top. It didn't matter. She wasn't getting anywhere with it anyhow. "I'm sorry, baby. You're right…" Crinkling her nose, another thought occurred to her. "Are you sure…you can't tell me anything about your Aunt April?"

"I don't know anything, Mom." Maia groaned. She really had no idea, and that upset her more than anything. If she had even the slightest clues, she would have been spilling them out like a Pez dispenser. "Everything I see nowadays is pretty fuzzy unless it's something small."

"I'll figure it out. Don't you worry."

"I won't. I'm just hoping that you find out soon so you can come home." Maia twisted the phone cord beneath her fingers jadedly. She looked around for Ben and when she saw him standing by the door, patiently, she waved for him to come get the phone. "I'm going now, Mom. Here's Ben."

Perking up at the sound of his name, she smiled gently. "Bye, baby. I love you."

"Bye, Mommy. Talk to you lat…-Hello!"

Diana relaxed once she heard Ben speak. He had been her stone pillar since she had received the news about April from Marco. Her ex boyfriend, of all people. He had been more than happy to stay with Maia while she traveled to Seattle and even offered to take care of her future meetings with the EU officials.

Thinking of nothing else to say, but to smile instead, she offered him a breathy, "Hi."

"I miss you." Ben sunk into the chair by the phone and waved to Maia as she gave him the signal that she was once again going outside. His smile, like Diana's, was not fading any time soon. Her phone calls, it had to be said, were what kept him going.

"Not nearly as much as I miss you."

"You know, Diana, if you don't come home soon, I'm going to end up coming to you." As much as cooing to her seemed like a pleasant idea to entertain, his feeling of strength was lop-siding south like the leaning tower of Pisa. "I think if I work over time, I may be able to wrap it up here in a few weeks."

"Don't do that." She bit her lower lip, it was a terrible habit, that was a sign for insecurity that she picked up in grade school. This new obsession--with finding her sister--was starting to drag her down. "Don't worry about it, Ben. With my new badge, I'll be able to unlock doors I wouldn't have access to otherwise."

Sighing, Ben remarked: "Yeah, because you've had such luck with it already."

She blinked twice. She was not expecting that. Her eyebrows lowered, she switched the phone from her right shoulder to her left, and blew her lips out like a pouting child. "Give me a little room--would you? This isn't like finding a lost puppy. It's a little more important than that. This is my sister…"

"…-and I apologize. I didn't mean it like that. All I'm saying is that Maia and I miss you and you working towards a dead end seems a little unfair sometimes." Ben could tell this statement relaxed her, because on some level, he knew she agreed. He smirked, resting his phone-free hand in his lap.

He didn't even have to close his eyes to imagine the face she was making. He was sure that her nose was scrunched, her cheeks were red, and she was biting her lower lip. He had become accustomed to that face, when she was deep in thought and sure no one was watching. "I miss you at night."

Her pale cheeks that were already red from deep concentration were now scarlet with timid anticipation. "Mm." She rubbed her eyes. She felt the same way. "I will be back in your arms in no time."…But it was late, and if she wanted to get back in his arms, she needed to finish her work. "Talk to you tomorrow."

Groaning from the change of pace, he accepted his fate of loneliness this day. "Right, tomorrow."

She knew it drove him up the wall, but she refused to do something so distasteful over the phone. Not tonight at least. Not with so much on her mind. "I love you."

"I love you too. Bye, Diana."

Hanging up her cell phone she felt empty. Until the phone rang again.

Annoyed, she picked it up with a snap, "I'm not making love to you over the phone!"

"Well, I just wanted to ask you a question, but…" Tom Baldwin nearly lost it over the phone, but knowing the embarrassed bulge of Diana's eyes would surely be present the next time he saw her, he contained himself. So much for late night excitement. Not what he expected.

"What do you want?" She wouldn't have barked at him so meanly if she wasn't so mortified beyond belief.

"Are you tired?"

"Why?"

He laughed lightly, "Well if you aren't busy…" He shook his head, "would you be up for popcorn and La Dolce Vita? I figure if we can't beat her, we ought to join her."

"I'm working on April." She had planned to anyhow.

"Any luck?"

"Not at all." This was Tom she was talking to; he would have questioned her further if she had lied.

"Which means you are in need of a break." Looking over top the couch from his stance beside his work desk, he eyed La Dolce Vita with a welcoming grin. It wasn't the most pleasant thing to hear about every day at work, but talk is cheap when it came to movies at the office water cooler, and the new boss didn't like it that way. "I'll be over in no time. Your apartment okay?"

"It's a mess." She had just cleaned it this morning.

"Couldn't be worse than my house." He knew she was being tight-lipped with him because he caught her in a personal moment. He was willing to get past it if she would.

"I agree. I guess I'll see you."

He smiled and hung up the phone. So maybe tonight wasn't a complete waste.

-------

Meghan Doyle could not get the image of the healed boy out of her head. Not even if she tried to, which she had spent her entire Saturday doing so. Nor could she forget about her dying father over at Highline Medical Center. And somehow, her brain linked the two together, making her day near unbearable.

It wasn't until late in the evening when the idea popped into her head to get Shawn Ferrell to heal her father. In fact, she was sitting there at her desk when it had occurred to her. Immediately, she had pulled out his file, knowing it would not be easy to bribe him into doing so, and studying it. She'd been going over it for nearly five hours now, and still had no clear idea of how it would all work. Though she knew she would figure it out, at this rate, sooner than later.

"Meghan? Do you have a moment?" Ted Garrity, looking in fit form, peeked his head into her office. He had recovered within the few hours after the autistic kid's healing and was feeling almost back to normal. Surely, he would under go therapy for his mental state, but physically he was ready to work again.

Slowly looking up from Shawn's file, she nodded. "Yes. Feeling better?"

Ted nodded with certainty, standing up to full height and coming into the office to stand in front of her desk. It was so strange to him, as he didn't much care for her, that she was sitting in Nina's old desk. Apart of him agreed that NTAC needed a change of pace, but this, he wasn't ready for. "Yes. I'm fine. Thank you." He smiled shortly, than got right to the point. "Should I call Baldwin about the switch?"

"No. That won't be necessary. I'll take care of it." She sat forward in her chair, pulling a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She wasn't much for talking today, especially to someone who was dispensable in her book. She had already talked to Tom about the switch, and he seemed to keep Garrity on the same level she did. Her eyes drifted back down to Shawn's file.

"Great." Garrity noticed that her attention wasn't particularly on him. "Is something bothering you?"

Or maybe she had just undermined him: "Garrity, can you tell me about Tom Baldwin and Diana Skouris?"

Garrity peered at her with great interest. When he had asked the question, he hadn't meant to get that answer in return…-as if it was an answer at all. He stepped forward and took a seat in the client chairs. "Well what is that you want to know?"

Taking the file from its place on her lap, she sat it flat on her desk. She'd already double checked Shawn's records, probing a staff member was no longer beneath her. "They seem to have an awful lot in common, don't you think? I mean, Diana has Maia and Tom has Shawn."

Garrity hadn't a clue where she was going with it. He had doubts about this one, this commander, and her questioning added to his collectively functional dislike. He admitted: "Not only are they dedicated workers, they are very family oriented. So what's that got to do with anything? They are people just like everyone else."

Meghan countered her next words for a moment, squinting her eyes towards Garrity, trying to figure him out. She knew she could only say so much, after all, she had caught Baldwin and Garrity going out for drinks a few nights ago after the Holt incident. "Were they ever involved?"

"Romantically?" Garrity spat, nearly laughing at the thought. "Hell no. Tom Baldwin's a faithful sort of guy, and you can't touch Diana Skouris with a ten foot pole if you wanted to. What is this about anyway?"

"Nothing. I'm just thinking." Meghan stared at him a bit grimly. No, her first instinct was right. He was dispensable. "Look, Garrity, I'll call you once I've found you a new partner."

For once, Garrity held his tongue and stood up. "Yeah. You do that."

With a shake of his head, adding to the pot of bad things he was eager to say to her, he walked out of her office just the same as he had come in. Loathing her a bit more.

-------

As if the face he made when Anita Ekberg wasn't entertaining enough. She nearly died of laughter every time he snorted at the corny pick up lines the main character, Marcello, used on the seemingly unsuspecting bleach blondes. To say that the night was less than eventful was a huge understatement.

"More popcorn?" Diana lifted herself off of her plushy couch to head towards the kitchen. Both her and Tom had settled on their sweats for the movie fest and were looking extremely comfortable. As she made her way into the kitchen, she glanced over her shoulder to see him narrowing his eyes in disbelief at the scene were Marcello found that Steiner had shot his children then committed suicide.

With a grave nod of his head, he finally looked over towards Diana. "Yeah. Thanks."

Diana snickered quietly and reached into her cabinets to pull out a new bag of popcorn. Both she and Tom were of a certain age where their weight became less of an issue. With that said, the popcorn had been devoured very quickly. "Enjoying the film?"

Not particularly--but it is somewhat interesting. Tom shrugged a little. "I'm just trying to figure out why Meghan likes it so much. Sure it's a classic Fellini, but I don't see anything to get a head rush over it." Tom eyed the screen a little more loosely. "You need help?"

"It's a good film, I think. But I agree, Doyle is a bit over obsessed." Diana poured the bag of popcorn into the glass bowl and sprinkled butter on top of it. It wasn't awkward for them like this. Sure, it had taken them four years to get to this point, but it wasn't for lack of trust. Diana simply smiled at the thought. Tom was no longer a lion in the face of a lamb. "And--No. I've got it."

Tom stretched his neck, grinding his teeth, like most men who are bored with something they are looking at. He picked up the television remote and turned it off.

"What're you doing? What are we suppose to watch now?" Diana raised an eyebrow as she came back with the popcorn and plopped next to Tom on the couch. She sat on her feet, bowl on her lap until she was situated enough to sit it in the middle of the them.

"Certainly not that." Tom took a big handful of popcorn, and sat up a little straighter. He was more of a gentleman then to shove it all in his face, although, if he had been sitting with Kyle it would be a different story. He looked at her with a soft expression, than suggested, "Let's talk."

Diana took a handful of popcorn herself, "About what?"

"I don't know." Anything but that movie. "We haven't really gotten a chance to talk about your life, besides April." They hadn't spoken much about her life in terms of Ben or Maia. In fact, she rarely mentioned them. As her friend, he found that suspicious. It was no small secret that Diana loved Maia more than anything, and that Ben would some day be her fiancé. It was unlike her to keep quiet in the matter.

"Actually…" She genuinely smiled at him. "Before I left, Ben and I were looking for a house. San Sebastian is beautiful, and we love it there, but we're not sure whether or not we're ready to call it home." She frowned when a kernel fell into her green tank top. "I think Maia is really happy too…-" She shook her blue sweat jacket out to relieve herself of her current predicament.

Tom laughed tenderly in amusement. "Stand up and shake it out."

"…and I wouldn't say Maia was happy unless I knew for a fact, and I do." Diana stood from the couch and wiggled her shirt away from her body so that the kernel could gracefully drop to the floor. "Thanks." Once it had, she thanked him with a nod and sat back down. "So, I don't feel guilty about being in Spain."

As soon as the words escaped her mouth, Tom's laugh faded, and she knew she would some day regret it. He swallowed whatever food was stuck at the back of his throat and furrowed his eyebrows. "You never planned on coming back, did you?"

A doubtful frown pulled at the corners of her mouth. "No, Tom, I didn't."

"Right." He was done with popcorn for now. He wasn't angry with her, but he wasn't elated with this news either. On a subconscious level, he'd already known before he even asked her. Still, the confirmation didn't sit well with him. "So you are going back when you find April."

"Yeah."

"Only if you can find her in the first place." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Any guesses as to where she might be?" He would tell her one day that he did some looking himself but, like her, he came up empty handed.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about April."

"I was just wondering." He lifted his eyebrows at her. She was defensive now, when she didn't have to be. It was her life and he was her friend. He would support her no matter what her decision on residence was, even if he didn't particularly care for it or agree.

"Fair enough." She bobbed her head, relinquishing some control. Maybe his input would be helpful; she'd tried everything else she could rationally think of. She tried calling her sister's friends, surrounding tattoo parlors, even tried contacting her ex husband, Trevor. Nothing, not a clue, nothing at all. "I think she could be hiding with my father. It's the only place I haven't checked."

By the look on her face, he could see that she had taken some time to really think about the idea. That she had done some research, maybe ever scanned the perimeter of her father's house for clues. She had just yet to do anything about it. "Was that your first instinct?"

Moments like this reminded her of just how long she'd known him. It also reminded her that she needed to stop being so transparent. With a sheepish twitch of the eye, she acknowledged: "Yes, it was."

Relaxing, he took another handful of popcorn. "Then chances are…you are probably right."

She exhaled harshly, "I hope so."

reviews are welcomed as always. in fact, they are encouraged. -cg.