Today was the day. He was done being afraid; done with the constant anxiety; done with keeping it inside. Talking with Buffy helped but it never satisfied the empty feeling that had been growing in the pit of his stomach. Talking to anyone but Jonah made him feel like he was avoiding the situation. But, until this moment, fear had been holding him back.

He was Jonah Beck- un-arguably the coolest kid Cyrus had ever met.

He was literal sunshine in human form. Not liking him was impossible- he didn't have a choice. Those eyes, that smile, those dimples, that laugh. Even his ridiculous vocabulary contributed to his already sufficiently charming personality. Jonah was a wonderful friend and Cyrus knew he could tell him anything and Jonah would be supportive.

So why is he so scared?

Maybe because there was a chance this time Jonah wouldn't be supportive. Maybe this time he'd get uncomfortable and leave and never talk to him again. There is a very real chance that Cyrus could be throwing a grenade on his and Jonah's friendship and that scared him. That scared him more than anything. A life without Jonah Beck would be like living without the sun and Cyrus never did well with dark. Like, at all. Ever.

But not telling Jonah made him feel like he was lying to him and that made him feel worse. Jonah wore his heart on his sleeve. He was totally and completely himself and Cyrus envied him that. He wanted that too.

He waited for Jonah outside The Spoon. It was a nice sunny day with a clear blue sky overhead. Cyrus's palms were sweating and he couldn't stop fidgeting. With every second that passed it was like he could feel Jonah getting closer. The moment was getting closer and closer and soon there would be no turning back. Every person that walked by seemed to know what he was about to do. He could feel their stares, their stifled laughs. Maybe he shouldn't do this. Maybe this crush will run its course and he's just going to cause himself unnecessary pain.

He turns to go and-

"Cyrus!"

Cyrus felt his stomach drop onto the ground.

"Cyrus?"

He turned to see Jonah standing in front of him. He was smiling that goofy smile.

"How's it goin'?" Jonah asked. He gestured toward The Spoon. "You wanna grab something to eat?"

Cyrus opened his mouth but nothing came out.

It felt like an eternity had passed when Jonah said, "Cyrus, are you ok?"

Cyrus sighed. "No."

The light that surrounded him dimmed and his smile turned to concern. "What's wrong? Can I help?" He moved closer.

"Jonah." Cyrus started to feel some shakiness in his hands. "I think I need to talk to you but I'm not sure I know how to say it."

Jonah put a hand on Cyrus's shoulder. "That's ok. We'll figure it out together. Come on."

Jonah led him to the park. They found a tree to sit under far away from anyone who might hear what Cyrus had to say. They sat opposite each other, the look of concern still evident on Jonah's face. After a moment or two of silence he said, "You kind of worrying me Cyrus."

Cyrus looked away. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to- I swear! It's just…" Say it. Say the words. He looked back at Jonah. "I need to tell you something important… but it's going to change things and I don't want things to change."

"They won't," Jonah said immediately. That made him happy. "Why would things change?"

"They just will. Trust me."

"Cyrus- what is it?"

Cyrus looked away again. He could say these words and look at Jonah Beck at the same time. He didn't want to see the look of disgust. "I…" The words kept getting stuck but Jonah said nothing. He just waited, silently. "I… like you, Jonah."

Jonah laughed. "I like you, too, Cyrus. That's it?"

He thinks I mean as friends. That was like a punch to the gut. "No," Cyrus said. The shaking was getting worse. He could feel every emotion welling up inside of him. He tried to meet Jonah's eyes for as long as he could. "I like you… more than a friend."

Cyrus saw the smile die on Jonah's face and that was all he could take. He pulled up his legs and hid his face. From the darkness he heard Jonah utter one thing.

"Oh."

That's when he let go of everything he was keeping inside. The tears came and ran. When Cyrus lifts his head, Jonah would be gone. That was it. It's over. He lost Jonah.

But at least he would know the truth and Cyrus wouldn't have to lie anymore. He would just sit there, under the tree until the end of time where he belonged.

"Cyrus." It was Jonah. He was still here.

Why must the torture continue? Cyrus thought.

"Cyrus, can you look at me?" The sound of his voice was kind. Not harsh or judgmental or disgusted. He sounded like Jonah.

"Do I have to?" Cyrus asked.

"Please?"

Who could say no to Jonah Beck? Cyrus raised his head and looked at the boy sitting across of him. He was smiling.

"Cyrus, thank you for telling me. I know it couldn't have been easy. Um...," He looked down at his hands. He suddenly looked conflicted. "I like you, too. But I don't know if I like you like that." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "I don't really know what I'm feeling. These past few months have been a really confusing time for me. I feel good with Andi but I feel good with you, too. Happy."

"I feel happy with you, too."

Jonah smiled a quick smile. "Good. I'm glad."

"So what happens now?" Cyrus asked.

"I don't know," Jonah said. "I still want to be friends."

"I want to be friends, too."

Jonah nodded. "Good. I don't know what I would do without my biggest fan!"

Cyrus smiled. "Don't worry. I would never let the team down." He rubbed his eyes dry.

Jonah lauged. There was a bit of a pause before he said, "I think I need time to figure out what I want. Who I am."

"I understand." It was enough for Cyrus to know he wasn't losing Jonah. Wherever this was going to go, he'd still have him in his life and that was enough. For now.

"Are you hungry?" Jonah asked.

"Oh, yeah! I feel like I've shaken off ten pounds!"

They laughed.