Title: Death to Hope; Long Live Insanity!

Chapter: Prologue (How Long?)

Disclaimer: I do not on Naruto (I ish poor)

Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto

Note: It is some what short, but I always make my prologues short. Later chapter will have much MUCH more.

How long had it been ever since he first started this wild goose chase? Days, weeks, months, years? Yes, years would be the perfect term to describe how long he tried. Two thousand one hundred and eighty-four days of running brutal miles, and still no progress. No matter how many clues he had received, no matter how close he got, Naruto could not bring back Sasuke. It hurt; it hurt so much. Everyday, it felt like someone was using a heavy hammer to drive a hot-iron pipe into his heart, his soul. Sasuke had been right, Naruto was weak, and now he was paying. Oh how he was paying for it.

He hated this, this nothing that he did. He should be out, fighting against the heavy rain that fell from the dark gray clouds and pelted Konoha, but here he was, left in his house to wallow in his self pity. Why did Sasuke leave in the first place? Why did he have to seek out that snake man for power? Was it because he had to, or because he wanted to? But it could not be Sasuke's fault, oh no; Naruto was the one to blame. If he had noticed how Sasuke personality changed, he would have tied him to a tree and not let the Uchiha go with out a fight. But, of course, this was not the case. Instead, Naruto was nearly killed by his teammate, and now had spent six long, tiring years on the hunt. Each day he came in, Sakura was upset that he had no game to drag back. Sakura bitched and whined about how Naruto could let Sasuke go, and, on occasions, would beat Naruto into a pulp; a big, messy, gruesome, bloody pulp.

And Naruto could not blame her; he did not fight back nor attempt to defend himself when Sakura had those little violent mood swings. He deserved every full blown punch thrown at him. Strangely enough, he enjoyed his monthly beatings by Sakura. It gave him something to build on, to learn off of. It made him try harder, if that was possible since he was already working his ass off. Things could not last that long though; just a few months ago, Sakura had gone on a mission and never returned. Now Naruto could only stay home and sulk, refusing any missions Tsunade handed him, blowing off Iruka, and snapping at Kakashi.

What did he do as he sulked for three months straight? He punished himself for his mistakes in any way, shape, or form he could. He had scars on his body. Some inflected by blades, others by hot objects. Hell, he even what as far as to strangle himself with his head band for a minute. The Kyuubi roared and howled at him to stop his foolishness, but Naruto just blocked the demon out. Yes the fox interfered with his self punishment by healing any damage that was given, but slowly, the time it took to heal the wounds had grown longer, and eventually stopped. Weeks of self torment had drained the Kyuubi of a significant amount of chakra, and the demon could only watch as his vessel tossed himself into a cold world of despair.

It was too late, or so Naruto concluded. Orochimaru was probably inhabiting Sasuke's body by now, and the Uchiha the blonde had come to know was gone. Everything was gone, stripped and torn away from him and stuffed into some dark crevasse at the world's end. Sitting in a bathtub full of hot water, Naruto did not even let out a hiss as the scolding water ate away at his skin, turning it into a light pink. The small room was quiet since his entire apartment was empty besides himself, and Naruto could feel tears claw their way out of his eyes, but he did not release them.

This was it; this was the day he had been waiting for. The day he finally had enough of this slow destruction that rotted him from the inside out. Finally, after giving into his emotions, clear tears left his azure eyes in a steady stream. The wet trail that was left in its wake only made more of those acid tears fall; the blonde hated it when he cried. It was like he was accepting defeat, which was what he was doing, but he pushed that thought aside. Slowly, he took hold of a sharp knife that he had placed on the tiled floor a few moments before he had slipped into the tub and looked into the void eyes that stared back at him in the reflection of the shining metal.

"Hehe, never thought I would be brought to this; don't you agree Kyuubi?" Naruto joked in an emotionless tone, knowing full well that the demon could hear him. Of course, this angered the powerful demon and he trashed in his sealed cage and roared in vain; Naruto knew how he could separate himself from the one, wet room in his mind for a few moments, and that was just what he did. Hesitating for a second, Naruto let out a scream of pain as he dug the point of the knife into his palm, and raked the blade vertically on his right wrist, cutting through the veins like a hot knife melting through butter. He dragged it all the way up his forearm, slicing through the muscle, tendons, skin, and veins with ease. Quickly he lifted the point up, and cursed as the wound started to heal. It appeared as if the Kyuubi was afraid of death, but Naruto was welcoming it with open arms. Sticking his arm under water so the blood would not clot, he repeated the unmerciful actions until his forearm and wrist area was a mangled mess.

The knife slipped out of his fingers as he leaned his head back, his noggin hitting the wall with an almost inaudible thump. So, when was the death coming? Was it just going to pop out like a surprise, or was it going to slowly lull him into a never ending sleep? He sure hoped that it was the second option. Crimson liquid leaked out from the gashes that he inflected on himself, coloring the water a light red, and it made his head feel heavy and fogged up. Naruto could feel the darkness starting to consume him in a blanket of security and warmth, and even the Kyuubi was starting to drift into the blissful sleep, but his lips were still curled up in mid-growl. It only took a few minutes until Naruto let himself slip into the trance that everyone faces when life was near its end. Resting on his dresser next to a picture of team seven, which was currently lying face down, was a letter; a farewell note to all those Naruto had come to love and those who loved him back.

Dear everyone,

Thank you… Thank you so much for everything you have done to help me. Everything you sacrificed for me, but I am afraid that I can't go on. You see, there is this thing in my soul that will not go away. It hurts so much, and it won't stop. It haunts and torments me to the point that I swear I will lose my mind. I can't take it any more. So just humor me, please, as I go through the people I would like to recognize and thank.

Iruka-

You have been like a father to me; taking me out to ramen, sticking by my side, and caring for me. I would like to say sorry for all that money I sucked up in the form of my favorite food. I believe I have enough money in the bank to pay off all my bills, so go ahead and take what you like. God, again? Sorry if everything seems smudged, I can't stop crying… But don't worry, they are tears of joy.

Kakashi-

I am not sure if I have anything good to say about you. I mean, all you did was read that stupid, perverted book of yours, and you were constantly late to practice. Not to mention that you spent most of your time teaching Sas… Never mind. Wait, I think I have something that I can thank you for. Thanks for carrying my ass all the way back to Konoha on that day; I think you know which one I am talking about.

Jiraiya-

Three words: Get. A. Wife. If you keep spying on girls at the baths, it is going to be the end of you.

Sakura-

I am so, so sorry for breaking my promise, and I really do miss you. I hope your mission does not take too much longer. I really wanted to see you one last time before I did this, but I guess life sucks huh? And I just have one last thing to say. Beat Sasuke's ass for me if he ever gets back, and tell him that he got his wish, that Naruto Uzamaki is dead and will no longer be bugging him.

And for all of you who I did not mention, like Lee, Kida, Shino, and Shikamaru, I still thank you for being my friends and helping me out when I needed you.

I have to go now. My tears wont stop falling, and I don't want them to ruin the writing an-

The message had gone unfinished, a small mark indicating that the pencil that had written it broke. Tears adorned the once clean white paper, and a few words were smeared but still readable. So now, the entire house was silent. No splashing of water coming from the bathroom, no talking, no nothing. It was an eerie silence, and was only broken by the heavy thunder of the raging storm out side, the rain beginning to pick up yet again. And in the tub, as if he was lost in a peaceful dream, laid Naruto, his hair dry and added a heavenly glow to him, but this angelic look only added to the irony that the water was now a dark, unforgiving red.

This is not the end of the story, more chapters are to come. Please review; I accept constructive criticism, but no mega flaming.

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