Pairing: R/T
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters…
I hate him. So why am I here sipping coffee and watching him sleep, in my house, in my bed. What happened, how exactly did this happen. Everything was going fine and then I woke up. I woke up to nothing. Nothing, no I got a great view of his back and his fucking cold shoulder. Now here I sit watching the rain, sipping coffee and stealing glance of that bastard. Too scared to wake him up too scared to just walk away. I had to invite him. It was all my fault I ask him here. I kissed him first. I didn't say stop. I didn't want to stop. I imagined that I'd wake up in his arms, his big strong arms and time would stop just for us. That all came crashing down when I woke up chilly to his back. His bare back staring my in the face as his shoulder rose and fell with his steady rhythmic breathing. In. Out. In. Out. My breathing on the other hand was staggered as I pulled myself out of bed. I looked back before I disappear into the kitchen. The coffee brewed while I took my shower and after I got dressed I stationed myself next to my window waiting, deciding, contemplating. So now I sit here for God knows why. I can't leave. I don't want to. I want to know what is so wrong with wanting to be held. Is there something wrong with me. What did I do to turn him away? I could kick myself.
Our chance meeting at the party last night was actually quite reminiscent of our many encounters at high school. When our eyes meet across the room it was if nothing had changed and those three years we hadn't seen each other disappeared. We quickly nodded at each other than toward the door to the yard of the frat house.
"Mary," he chuckled with a smile, "Where's your book?" I pointed to my purse before hugging him tight.
"I missed you," I whispered almost scared he would hear.
"You too," His smile was soft and caring, the look in his eyes as he pulled away brought back memories of a night I often found myself reliving in my mind. It was right after my original break-up with Dean at my first real Chilton party. I found Tristan sitting by a piano after a big fight with his current 'flavor of the week' Summer.
"Oh sorry." I murmured when I walked into the room and saw Tristan hunched over a piano.
"No problem." He replied but didn't look up.
"I'm sorry." I repeated.
"About what?" he looked up lightly touching the ivory keys of the baby grand.
"About you and Summer." I replied sitting next to him on the piano bench.
"I don't want to talk about Summer." He growled.
"Ok. How'd you do on that biology test?" I asked in a sad attempt to change the subject
"What?" he suddenly looked over, surprise evident in his wide eyes
"The test. It was hard wasn't it?" I tried to ignore the look.
"Yeah it was hard." Tristan lowered his eyes back to the keys.
"I got a B+ "
"What are you doing?"
"Talking about the test." I replied trying to be nonchalant.
"Why?"
"Because you said you didn't want to talk about Summer." I shook my head. He could be dense sometimes.
"I don't." He restated. I believe he was trying more to convince himself than me.
"Ok, so I moved to biology. Sorry did you want to talk about Spanish?" I made another attempt; I wasn't good at subject changing at all.
"You just loved it, didn't you?" He said suddenly.
"Loved what?" I asked confused.
"Seeing me get nailed like that. Must have been a great moment." He let out a small chuckle.
"Not really."
"Please. You loved it, she loved it, everybody loved it." he insisted.
"I did not love it."
"I really liked her too." He sighed.
"Yeah I know." I said sadly because I knew he did you could tell in the way he looked at her. The way he put everything he was on the line just to keep her.
"So where's your boyfriend tonight?" he asked smugly.
"He's...not my boyfriend anymore." It sounded so unreal. I couldn't believe the words the words I said we true.
"Why not?"
"He didn't want to be." I replied somberly turning my gaze to the piano wiping off non-existent dust from the lid.
"Idiot." Tristan muttered in response.
"So's Summer." I countered.
"You think you'll get back together?"
"He was pretty set in his decision." I looked over at Tristan.
"When did it happen?"
"Yesterday."
"Wow." Tristan breathed.
"It was our three month anniversary." I added.
"That sucks."
"Yeah it does suck. Do you think you guys will?" I asked turning to face Tristan on the bench.
"No, no. No, no, no, no, no." Tristan shook his head.
"So no?" I added in spite of myself.
"No. Hey, I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time for a while." Tristan had now turned toward me as well. We now sat face to face. His eyes showed such emotion. Something I had never noticed before, not that I ever really look into his eyes but they shined with concern and sincerity.
"Oh that's ok." I lied.
"It is?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Well no, but you're sad." I smiled and he looked me in the eye.
"Yeah well. I am sorry."
"I accept your apology."
"Oh man, it's a great party huh?" Tristan exhaled loudly.
"Yeah not bad. It gave me a chance to catch up on my reading." I smiled and clenched the book in my purse.
"You are very odd, you know that?" Tristan smirked.
"Thank you." I smiled.
"You're welcome." He smiled back. He slowly leaned toward me and licked his lips. And before I knew what was going on we were kissing. A soft and sweet awkward kiss. It was so nice but I just broke up with Dean. I mean Dean just told me he loved me a day ago and here I am kissing Tristan. Of all the things, kissing. Of all the people, Tristan. Kissing Tristan the day after Dean told me he loves me. I pulled away crying.
"I'm sorry, what did I do?" he began apologizing sliding back, "Did I bite your lip or something?"
"No it's not you. It's just - I have to go." I waved lamely and run out of the room crying.
"Rory, hello. You in there?" Tristan waved a hand in front of my face.
"Huh?" I asked "sorry, I was just thinking about, oh god I feel so stupid you don't even remember this but- umm, oh jeez,"
"What?" He smiled leaning against the side of the house.
"Madeline's Party, I don't even know why I'm bringing this up you probably don't remember-"
"When we kissed," Tristan whispered into my ear. I swear my eyes would have popped out of the sockets if they could have, "I think about that all the time."
"Oh, I mean. I, umm, I," I was at a loss for words. Me, who could beat anyone in a verbal spar, remark upon the most speechless of things was at a loss for words.
"And If remember correctly you still owe me another kiss," Tristan smirked. The same smirk I saw everyday for a year and for the last time when he left for military school in junior year. Only this time it was a maturer, less cocky, less self-centered almost endearing look.
"I don't," I lied knowing perfectly well he was referring to the kiss in the act of Romeo and Juliet we never got the chance to perform the last night I saw him. It was just before ShowTime when Paris informed me that Tristan, our Romeo was missing.
"I knew he was going to do this, but no one wanted to listen to me." Paris stomped down the hall, "It was all, let's make Tristan Romeo, he's hot." She squeaked her voice for the last part and waved her hands around as a frown formed on her lips.
"What about Brad?" I asked, he was the only hope.
"Brad transferred schools." Paris informed me as Tristan walked up to us. Immediately Paris began to berate him, "Where have you been? You have to get dressed, we're on in ten minutes."
"Can't." Tristan replied shaking his head and lowering his eyes to the floor.
"What?" Paris threw her hands up into the air.
"Actually, my dad had me pulled out of school. He…" Tristan began to explain as Paris walked off with a huff, "… and is she unhappy."
"What do you mean he had you pulled out of school? What happened?" I asked angry and concerned at the same time.
"Nothing. Just ticked the old man off, that's all." Tristan replied pretending it was no big deal.
"By doing what? Tristan, come on, tell me." There had to be more to it.
"I got in some trouble." Tristan smirked in sad way and nervously ran a hand through his hair before the lone hand came to rest at the base of his skull and began rubbing his neck.
"Trouble involving?" if this was the way I was supposed to get the information out of him we would be there all night.
"Involving Duncan and Bowman, and Bowman's dad's safe." I almost reached up and smacked in his head as he uttered the words of truth.
"Oh no." was all I could get out while trying to control the urge to shake him and knock some sense into him.
"I mean, Bowman had a key. It was supposed to be no big deal. And the crazy silent alarm kicked in." Tristan tried to laugh at it as if it was a joke.
"You broke into Bowman's dad's safe?" I couldn't believe I'm sure by now my jaw was resting at my feet.
"Yes." Tristan hissed.
"Stupid." I muttered.
"Yes." He countered solemnly.
"Well, okay, you can apologize and you can put back the money and you can explain that, I don't know, you were going through something." I babbled.
"I was, I was going through his safe." I almost chuckled but bite my tongue.
"Why would you do this?" I scrutinized him.
"I don't know. I guess that's something I can ponder at military school."
"Military school?" my eyebrows raised as I asked.
"The police are letting our parents handle it, and in my case that means military school in North Carolina." Tristan finished.
"I don't know what to say."
"Well, I imagine you're overwhelmed with the relief in knowing that soon I will be gone." Tristan smirked at me and kicked his feet.
"I'm so sorry."
"Well, I'm a big boy. I can handle it." Tristan replied straightening up and standing taller.
"There's nothing you can…" I would have given anything to come up with a valid excuse to make him stay, my mind was blank.
"Tristan, come on." Tristan's Dad called from down the hallway.
"I gotta go. So, I might kiss you goodbye but, uh, your boyfriend's watching." Tristan smirked and I was suddenly aware of Dean's intense stare on the back of my head. "Take care of yourself Mary" Tristan gave me one last look then he was gone.
"You know Paris ended up playing Romeo. I don't owe you anything, if anything you owe me," I laughed. Tristan eyes sparkle as he joined my laughing fit.
"I guess I do," He whispered placing a finger under my jaw and pulling my chin up.
"Now I'll just have to come up with something that will drive you mad. I mean that's not the only thing you owe me for. There's also a year worth of hell to make up," I smirked cockily. Tristan looked a little bewildered at my change in attitude since junior year. It had been a long three years for me and we had both changed and it was quite evident in our meeting under the stars at a frat party.
"You know you loved it," Tristan let go of my chin and began walking to the far end of the yard.
"If you only knew," I whispered to myself before I went to catch up with him. He stopped suddenly and spun around resulting in me smacking into his chest. After I backed up he spoke.
"You wanna go somewhere? Maybe somewhere quieter?" Tristan asked.
"Coffee involved?" I asked.
"Are you involved, of course coffee is," Tristan grabbed my hand and lead my out of the yard.
"Wanna walk? I don't have my car," I said glancing up at the clear sky and full moon.
"I have mine if you don't but I don't mind. There's a diner just down the street."
"Let's go," I jumped on his back, "Giddy up."
"Payback's a bitch," Tristan muttered.
"So was Paris," I whispered in his ear.
After we settled into a booth and got our coffee the silence set in. We sat there staring into our coffee cups. We would glance up every once in a while but quickly turn away. We took in just how different we had become but just how little we changed. We were more mature and had grown in our own ways but I knew it was only a matter of time before we were back into our normal game of verbal quips and crude innuendo.
"So," I tried to break the ice, "How was military school? I can see they definitely keep you in shape I mean you were always, I mean, yeah,"
"I knew it, you wanted me then and you still want me now," Tristan grinned triumphantly.
"In your dreams. Bible boy!" I smiled back.
"You're right, Mary but dreams do come true,"
"Shut up and answer my question,"
"Military school is no different than Chilton except instead of detention we get push ups," Tristan lifted a arm and flexed, "Thus these."
"Beefcake." I laughed.
"Cheesecake," He laughed.
"Sounds good, waiter." I joked waving my arm.
"Put that down," Tristan grabbed my arm bringing it down to the table. I smiled up at him when he didn't let go. I slowly reached across the table and touched his cheek.
"I really did miss you," I said suddenly getting serious, "Chilton wasn't the same without you're annoying butt there."
"Checking out my butt now. Damn Mary, If only I had known these things back at Chilton."
"Would you stop it," I smacked his arm.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I missed this too," Tristan eyes smiled. I ripped my gaze from his it hurt me to see that look. It was if he could see right through me and that shook me to the core because it meant everything all the feelings and emotions I spent everyday suppressing in high school were rapidly resurfacing. No this couldn't happen; this is Tristan the boy I hate. The boy I loved to hate hated to love. Only problem was now there was no Dean to get in the middle. Dean was always my strongest are argument, my most believable one I could throw in Tristan's face anytime things got to comfortable.
Slowly I leaned up on my elbows and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. Then I licked my lips and lightly kiss his lips.
"Let's get outta here," I whispered before reaching back for my jacket and getting up.
Now it was the morning after and he is still sleeping and I'm still sadly sipping my coffee. It's only now I notice his face looks older but reminiscent of his boyish charm. I was right the night before Military was good to him. His lean athletic body was a well-toned sea of sun-kissed skin. I can still feel how soft it was under my fingertips. I couldn't do this to myself anymore I got up to leave.
"Where you going?" came a sleepy voice behind me. I paused at my spot by the door and rubbed my eyes. I didn't want to answer but I raised my coffee cup and pointed at it before I left.
I was in the kitchen sitting at the table sipping on my freshly poured coffee when I felt his arms snake around me and his swollen lips kiss the crease in my neck.
"Morning" He whispered into my skin. I merely nodded and got up to pour him some coffee. I couldn't face him. It would be too painful. However, the picture flashing in my mind was much better. It was of his distant body and the cold air that separated us that very morning only moments before. I set down the cup in front of him before I went to leave the room. He quickly caught my waist bringing me back toward him. I landed softly in his lap wrapping my arms around his warm body for balance. I quickly dropped my hands to my own lap as if his soft skin burned me.
"Hey, what's wrong," Tristan asked raising my chin so he could look me in the eye.
"What's wrong? What's wrong?" I stood up screaming, "I'll tell you what's wrong. Last night was possibly one of the most amazing things to happen to me and I wake up to what. Nothing. No cuddles, no arms draped casually comfortably across my tummy. No warm breath tickling my ear. I got nothing except your cold shoulder staring at me dead on. That's not the way this works, its not supposed to turn out like this," I sat down at the table as the tears threatened to spill over my rosy cheeks.
"It's not, your right but," Tristan began grabbing my hand rubbing my knuckles, "Someone kicked me in the middle of the night and told me to get of them."
"Really?" I asked looking up at him with innocent eyes.
"Yes," He laughed kissing my nose.
"Who was that?" I slowly began to smile.
"Some girl named Mary," He whispered into my lips before capturing them with his own.
"Sorry" I whispered placing my forehead against his.
"Me too. I was totally looking forward to the whole arm draped casually comfortably across your tummy cuddles and of course, warm breath tickling my ear"
"Well it is only 8" I smirked looking over at the clock.