Hello! So, I've been obsessed with GakuKai (for the second time) lately. I've tried to write a lot of fanfictions about them in the past but I've never finished any of those. But I decided to give this story a go. Hopefully there is some Vocaloid/GakuKai fans out here who happen to stumble upon this story :)

This is a yaoi fanfiction (boy x boy)

I do NOT own the characters. They are Vocaloids. Vocaloids do not have any set personalities so this is just my view of them (chosen for this specific story)

(I don't think it's necessary for me to tell this here but I'll say it anyways. This story is told from Kaito's POV)

Please enjoy reading! (Also please note that any weird sentences or spelling mistakes are due to the fact that my native language is not English.)

I could not look at my parents in their eyes that night.

I came home quite late, but they did not say anything. They trusted me with a lot of things, and gave me the freedom to come home late on Fridays.. if I came home before midnight. It was around eleven, maybe a little past it, when I opened the front door and stepped in. My mom greeted me happily from the kitchen, she was still baking my birthday cake there. She asked how I was doing and if I had fun.

I just took off my scarf and coat and quietly said "yes", hoping that my voice wouldn't crack too much. I walked upstairs to the bathroom and turned the shower on, throwing the rest of my clothes down on the floor. I walked under the warm water, closed my eyes and let the water fall down on my face, warming it up after walking for so long in the cold winter.
My arms were shaking slightly. I didn't know how I should feel. Should I be happy... or scared? I didn't know. And I wanted to decide it by myself. I didn't want anyone else to know about this... To know about what I did.

I walked out of the shower, straight into my room to change into my pyjama. Then I walked downstairs and got something to eat.

Mom had finished making the cake and was now sitting beside my father in the livingroom. They were watching TV, my dad's arm around my mother's shoulders in a protective way.

I took some bread from the fridge and walked back upstairs into my room, trying to be quiet so I wouldn't wake my younger sister.

I took small bites off the bread sitting on my bed, thinking about the evening.
The only things I could really recall were the smell of sweat and passion, the feeling of bare skin against bare skin, the sounds of our breaths and moans... But it was all a little blurry.

I was afraid. I should've been happy. But I was afraid that someone got to know about it...
It wouldn't have been so bad if I had had a girlfriend for a while and did it with her, us both thinking about it for a while and being responsible and ready for the consequences. I could have probably been able to talk with my parents about our plan to do it, or at least I could have told them now that I did it... I lost my virginity... on my last day of being 17 years old.

But no, it was more complicated. Yes, we have known each other for a while. I don't even remember exactly when was the first time we met and how we even met... All I remember is that I was 16 at the time. But it's not the problem that we've known each other for like a year, heck, that is actually quite a long time! No. The problem here is, that I lost my virginity with another man. With a man who is over ten years older than I am. To be exact, he is currently 31 years old.
I just don't know how I'll be able to tell this to my parents. I've been secretly dating him for a long time, always telling my parents that I'll be with my friends when I actually went to see him. He is kind, and gentle. He is exactly the type of guy I want. Really. He is perfect. But I am still afraid. I'm afraid because I know my parents would never accept it.

And if someone figures out our relationship, then it isn't going to be long before everyone knows. Because he is a big star, an amazing singer, always in the magazines in one way or another. He is basically the daydream of every girl.
I felt a tear run down my cheek. I was so happy. I was so happy that I had him, I was happy that he cared about me!

But the happiness was overpowered by the fear.

And my virginity... I gave it to him.

Now that it started to struck me that I really did give my virginity to him I also started to think about other things. He was good. It was obvious he had done it a few times in his life, he was over 30 for god's sake! But he had mentioned something about me being the first guy he had ever slept with. It made me feel honoured in some way, but at the same time I was wondering why. Why did he choose me out of all people? Me?

And I started to get anxious. I started to fear that now he is going to leave me... maybe I'm just one of his playthings. I've heard somewhere that sometimes big stars like him can satisfy themselves by fulfilling a desperate fan's fantasies. So basically sleep with them and then leave them. Maybe I'm just one of those? But how.. we've been together for a year!

But.. what if he has other relationships too?

How many girls has he slept with?

Does he really care about me?

Did I really think this through?

I finished the bread, tangled deep in my thoughts that were completely going off the rail.
I snapped out of it when my door opened.

"Are you going to sleep soon?" My mom asked.

"Yes. Actually I was supposed to go now. Good night!" I smiled at her and got up from my bed and crawled back, this time under the blanket.

"Good night, sweetie."

As I closed my eyes I felt faint memories of his gentle touches all over me. His lips on mine, then on my neck and stomach... that deep kiss he gave me as he was slowly pushing his way inside of me...