Santana Lopez's Point Of View

Here I am, standing in the middle of the choir room, fidgeting with my hands. All their eyes are on me, filled with concern but also curiosity. My heart is beating fast. I've opened my mouth multiple times but nothing comes out. Frustrating. My hands are sweating to.

"Santana, you said you had something to tell us. Can you do that, please? We have to practice for sectionals." Mr. Shue said. Yes, he was concerned but they really needed their time.

I keep telling myself I can't chicken out now. I need their help. I take a deep breath and decide to go for it. They are my friends, they'll understand.

"Last night," I begin, "I told my parents that…" My voice seems to disappear and I can't find it. Now that I want to say it, I can't.

"Santana, are you okay?" Mr. Shue asked.

I clear my throat. "Yes, yes, I'm okay. I told them yesterday that…" I swallow, but there is nothing to swallow. My mouth is dry. "That I'm a lesbian." Finally I'm able to finish my sentence.

I look at the ground. It's silent and I know they are all watching me. I look up and I see shock, disbelieve and pride on their faces. When they see the tears that are threatening to spill from my eyes, it's all concern again. "They… uhm… they didn't react that well. They kicked me out." I manage to choke out. I hate myself when it's followed by tears and a pathetic sob. I try to control it but I can't. I feel so small and vulnerable. I feel two arms wrapping around me and a familiar vanilla scent reaching my nose thrills.

"It's okay, San. It's okay. It'll be fine." She whispers in my ear.

Really, she is one of my best friends even though we can be horrible to each other. I hold on tighter and then, before I know it, it's like I'm being squashed between bodies, drowning me in friendship, acceptance and love. Everyone is hugging me now. My tears subside and they slowly let go of me. They are still standing around me and it feels kind of weird.

"They just kicked you out? Because you are gay? That's the reason? Why would they do that?" Puck asks me.

"My parents are extremely Catholic. They believe being gay is a sin and a choice. They don't want me as their daughter anymore." Saying those words feels like someone is slowly cutting into my heart. "I don't have anywhere to go. The rest of my family lives in Puerto Rico and they aren't exactly the accepting type. The only things I have are some clothes in my trunk." I tell them.

"You can stay with me." Mercedes immediately reacts.

I smile at her. "Really?" I ask her.

"Yeah, girl, really. If my brother's friend can live with us, so can you." Mercedes tells me.

I can't help but grin. "Thank you, Mercedes."

"No problem." She says with a grin.

That Evening…

I arrive in front of an average looking house, it's nice. Mercedes pulls up in the driveway while I park at the side of the road. I kill the engine and step out of the car. Mercedes does the same and walks over to me.

"Nice house." I say. She smiles a sweet smile.

"Come on, let's go inside and meet my parents and siblings." She says. "We'll come back to get your stuff." She adds.

"Okay. So, how many siblings do you have?" I ask her.

"Well, 3 but my oldest brother, Bobbie already lives on his own so it's only my sister and brother. My sister is older than me, my brother is younger." Mercedes explained before we entered the house. She leads me to the kitchen where a curvaceous woman was making dinner.

"Hey, Mom, this is my friend Santana. Santana this is my mother, Mariah." Mercedes introduces us.

"Hello, Ms. Jones." I greet the woman politely. Mariah smiles.

"Oh, you can call me Mariah, dear." She says. I instantly like her.

"Mom, is it okay if Santana stays with us for a few weeks?" Mercedes asks her mother.

"Sure. No problem but Mercedes, you know that Jeremiah's friend has the guest room so Santana will have to sleep in your room. You'll have to set up the fold up bed in your room."

"Yeah, I know, Mom." Mercedes answers. "Come on; let's go get your stuff inside." She takes my hand and drags me back outside.

Her hands are soft, I like it. We arrive at my car and I open the trunk. I have one suitcase, a plastic bag and a beauty case. That's it. I take the suit case and Mercedes carries the plastic bag and the beauty case. We walk up the stairs and to the door where an Aretha Franklin poster is taped to. She opens the door and we walk inside. There is a bed, a desk and a closet inside the blue painted room. Posters of Whitney Houston, Tina Turner and Adele are on the walls. Yes, there is room for another bed but it'll be hard to move around in the room. She opens her closet and begins to move some clothes.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"I'm making some space so you can put your clothes in here." She tells me.

I smile. She is sweet. She manages to clear out two shelves and I can put most of my clothes on there. Only two pairs of jeans I can't fit in there. She squashes them between some of her clothes. She takes the empty suitcase and lays it on top of the closet.

"Maybe you can put your shoes downstairs and your make up and stuff in the bathroom. I'll go get your bed." She says and with that she walks out of the room.

Two Hours Later…

Mercedes and I walk down the stairs and I can hear people talking and I smell food. I'm pretty hungry. We walk into the dining room and I see Mariah, Mercedes' father, siblings and an Asian boy all sitting at the table.

"Oh, there you are." Mariah says with a smile. Mercedes sits down and I sit next to her.

"So, that's my father, Ray, my sister, Candace and my brother, Jeremiah. That's his friend, Roderick." Mercedes introduces everyone.

"What's your name?" Jeremiah asks me.

"Santana Lopez." I reply.

Mariah puts some food on my plate and it looks delicious. We pray before we eat and then, Ray begins to talk about his day. At home, no one was allowed to talk when we were eating. Here, everyone talks about what they did and it's pretty interesting.

"So, Santana, do you want to tell us why you are here?" Ray's voice sounds friendly.

"My parents kicked me out." I reply. That sounded bad, as if I was some bad kid which I'm not.

"Oh, why?" Mariah asked me, eying me suspiciously. Maybe she thought I was on drugs or something.

Mercedes smiles at me; as if to say that they won't throw me out when they find out I'm gay.

"I came out to them and well, they we're too thrilled so they threw me out." I explain.

Mariah sighs. "I'm so sorry to hear that, dear. I don't understand people who do that. I would never be able to do that. You are welcome to stay here as long as you need to."

I smile. "Thank you, Mariah."

Mercedes grins at me. I smile back at her.

An Hour Later…

I am sitting on the bed that Mercedes set up for me and I look at the clock that is hanging above the desk, against the wall. 7:30PM. Mercedes is reading a fashion magazine and I am just hugging my knees, staring at the wall.

"You okay?" She asks, casually.

I look at her. She has stopped reading and is looking at me.

"I don't know." I reply honestly.

"What's wrong? Besides, the obvious." She tells me.

"Neither Quinn nor Brittany has send me a text or called me to ask if I'm okay. I mean what the fuck? They are my best friends." I tell her.

"Maybe they are busy or something. I'm sure they are thinking about you." She tries to sooth me.

"Yeah, right." I roll my eyes. "Even my own brother ignores me."

"Hey, Santana, every one cares about you but they probably don't know what to say." Mercedes tells me.

I look at her and shrug my shoulders. "Maybe, whatever. I don't care."

"I know you do but you can pretend you don't." She gives me a smile. "Come on, you have to see this woman. Her clothes are just amazing." She waves with the magazine. I smile and walk over to her bed. I sit beside her and we begin to talk about fashion and when I let something slip like 'damn, she's hot.' She doesn't look at me weirdly or acts like it's totally inappropriate, she laughs or agrees that 'she's very beautiful'. It's great to hang out with Mercedes. I like her.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

Author Notes: Hey everyone, so I just had the idea to write Sancedes. I hope you like it. Do you want me to continue? Any suggestions? Let me know ;) Love, Silke