Disclaimer: All characters are property of Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.
Time: Post Tabula Rasa (right after the episode)

A/N: The title is Latin. It roughly translates into "into the night"

In Noctem

By felesnoctis

December 24, 2004

Tara stared at the closed door for a few moments, lost and alone, before turning her back on her once-family. She'd lost all of them in just one night. But there was no turning back now. No use in crying out here on their doorstep.

She wearily turned to her few boxes of posessions and started piling them so she could carry them all. There wouldn't be coming back later. She carefully piled them together and slowly started her walk to her new residence. She had thought about asking for a ride from Xander, but then realized he was more Willow's friend than hers. So here she was, making her way, alone, along a deserted and poorly lit road in Sunnydale, at night, carrying her few meager posessions in a half-dozen poorly stacked cardboard boxes.

She stopped at a bench outside one of Sunnydale's many cemetaries to rest her aching arms for a minute and to readjust the wobbling boxes. Tara couldn't help letting herself rest for a few minutes longer, trying rather unsuccessfully to hold back the tears, before picking up her boxes and going again. Right now, she didn't even care about being alone outside at night next to a cemetary. Normally she would have been worried about vampires or demons, but tonight she couldn't be bothered. She stood beside her things a few minutes, eyes closed, concentrating on keeping her breath steady and getting the tears back in check.

A drawled, "Well, well, well, what do we have 'ere?" broke the silence of the night and her concentration on her internal struggle immediately shifted to the external. She opened her eyes to see Spike standing only a few yards away, slowly walking towards her. "What are you doin' out on a night like this all by your lonesome?" he scowled. She looked at him for a moment before ducking her head. "Figured you'd be home snuggling with your witch after that whole forgettin' thing," he said from his position directly next to her. She couldn't hold back the tears at his last comment, and she started to cry again. Even though she tried to stop, she couldn't help it. "Hey now, what's all this for?" He cautiously placed a hand on her shoulder, unsure of what her reaction would be.

Tara proceeded to collapse onto the bench beside her boxes and once again to try to hold back the sobs. Spike simply stood there a moment, not completely sure as to why the witch was out alone and crying. "...Witch? ...Glinda? ...Tara?" he cautiously asked. She finally looked up at him with puffy eyes. "What happened, pet?" he asked as he sat beside her, concern in his voice, arm around her shoulder.

"T-t-the spell. I-i-it was W-w-w-willow." Spike couldn't tell if she was stuttering because she was upset or nervous being alone with him. Either way, she was in bad shape and probably shouldn't be left alone out here.

"The forgetting spell?" She nodded. "Red did that?" Another nod.

She fought back more tears as she tried to explain. "S-s-she did it. Again. A-after she said she w-w-wouldn't do any m-m-more spells." She wouldn't look anywhere except at her hands, which were fluttering about nerviously in her lap.

Spike put his hands on hers, stilling them. "She did a forgetting spell before tonight?" he asked quietly, beginning to understand why she was so upset. She nodded. "Who on?" he asked quietly. She started sobbing loudly again, moving her hands from his to cover her face.

He couldn't help but notice her hand that had been broken by a certain hell-god had never healed properly. He could see the permanent reminder of when she let her mind be taken to protect Dawn. And now someone she cared about had been the one to take her memories from her. And from her reaction, it wasn't the first time Red had done it to her. Sure, he was still upset about Buffy kissing him and running off again, but this was much more damaging to a person than that. It wasn't just playing with emotions, it was playing with her mind. He had been intending to simply keep walking and ignore her, but then he had heard her crying and coudln't stop himself from going to her.

He sat silently with her for a while, just rubbing her back, until he remembered that they were sitting outside in Sunnydale at night with no real protection besides his fists. She didn't even have a cross on and he doubted there were any weapons in her boxes. "Come on, pet. Let me help you get settled wherever you're goin'. You got a place to stay?" Tara looked up at him a few moments, at first confused, and then considering. Spike just offered to help her. Spike. The one that everyone said was an evil, soul-less demon. The one who had tried to kill her friends - no Willow's friends - on many occasions. The one who stayed and helped for an entire summer, even though Buffy was dead. The one who had punched her in the nose to prove that she wasn't a demon. The one who had, time and again, come to their rescue. The one who was sitting here, talking with her, offering to help her even though he didn't have any reason to.

She dried her eyes as best she could and offered him a weak smile. "Thank you, Spike. That would be nice," she managed weakly, to her relief without stuttering once. He returned the smile and picked up most of the boxes, leaving her a couple of the smaller ones. "I-I was just going to stay at o-o-one of the hotels tonight. I'll start l-looking for someplace tomorrow." She looked at her shoes as she stood on the sidewalk, "I didn't have much time to plan," she added quietly.

Spike nodded at this and thought a moment. "Well, the closest place is a few blocks from here if we cut through the cemetary. That work for you?" He watched as Tara peeked up at him and nodded. "This way then." And he started slowly across the cemetary, making sure to go slow enough for his companion in the dim light.

Luckily, they reached the hotel without running into anyone or anything else. Spike made sure that she got to the hotel and was settled in her room before turning to leave. She stopped him in the doorway with a subdued "Spike?" He turned back from the doorway to see her huddled on the bed with the few boxes on the floor beside her. She was looking at him intently for a moment before shyly adding, "Thanks."

He smiled at her, a bit surprised at her thoughtfulness, before answering, "Any time, pet. Just let me know when you find a place and I'll help you move in, alright?" She smiled at him again and nodded. He smiled back and quietly closed the door behind himself as he walked the short distance back to his crypt in a much better mood than he had been in.

Tara sat on the bed, no energy to even turn off the lights Spike had turned on for her. She smiled to herself at the thought of how nice he had been, even though she had been crying her eyes out to him. Then it hit her: she had left. She had actually packed up and left everything behind. Of course, right now all she had in the world was in this dingy room with her. Dawn wouldn't even look at her when she left. Willow had stayed in the bathroom the entire time and wouldn't even acknowledge her. And all the others, they were Willow's friends, really. She'd just borrowed them. She was alone. Completely alone. Tara ended up crying herself to sleep.