Twelve Steps or More, a gilmore girls fanfic

Author's note I – this is my first entry into the GG world, and my first fan-fic in awhile. It was supposed to be more about Jess, but then Sasha kind of took over. Please read and review…based on past experiences more than a little. Spelling and grammar errors the fault of the nervous author

Disclaimer – Do I own any of the Gilmore Girls world? Have you seen a GG movie out yet? Do Rory and Jess ride off into the sunset together at any point of the final episode? Enough said!

Jess Mariano stepped off the bus and looked around. It was like he'd fallen through some kind of third dimension into a totally alien planet. People were strolling by in cut-off jeans and tank tops, a guy was hawking hemp hats (seriously?) He rolled his eyes and looked down at the address in his hand. No way was he going to ask any of these crazies how to get there. He'd be damned if he was going to take off his beloved leather jacket either, even though it was starting to get warm. He hefted the duffel bag and started walking.

About a half hour later, he found the street, right off the main drag. The house was ramshackle, needed painting, vines and flowers all over the place. A gate led through to the front yard. Jess put his hand on the gate, then jerked back as a pack of dogs came at him, all sounding like they'd like nothing better than to rip his face off. "It's ok.", came a disembodied voice,"Whaddaya want, anyway?". "Um…I'm looking for Jimmy Mariano?..Jess shaded his eyes, peering up at the roof, where some blonde hippy-dippy chick who looked like she'd get along with Lorelei Gilmore was working on the roof. She looked back at him skeptically and started going off about a horse of a different color, and Jess finally figured out she was talking about some scene from The Wizard of Oz – yeah, she'd fit right in with the Gilmores. . He got a little impatient, then just blurted out ,"I'm Jimmy's son."

Jimmy's son? What the …supplier trip my ass…all tumbled through Sasha's mind as she studied the scruffy looking dark haired kid standing at her gate. Just then, he shifted position and cocked his head up at her with a smirk, "So can I come in or what?" he asked with a little attitude. Oh yeah, he was Jimmy's. She recognized that attitude from five plus years back. "Well, see, now that's a horse of a different color. Come on in. Only those two bite, by the way." "Which two?" Jess yelled, but she was already sliding through the upstairs window and coming down to the door.

Sasha walked Jess over to Jimmy's hot dog stand, talking all the way, trying to get a handle on the kid. She saw a lot of Jimmy in him, but a lot of someone else too, someone who'd been trying to get Jess on the right path. Maybe this Luke he'd mentioned in passing? She saw a shadow on his face when he talked about living with Luke in Starr's Hollow. Something more there, but that'd have to wait. Jess didn't give much away, but there was a lot going on inside, she could tell. Sasha was a self-taught expert at reading people. She'd had to be . She could tell something else about Jess already; he was about out of options. You didn't go cross country to see a father you'd seen for the first time a week ago if you had anyplace else to go, especially not with a packed duffel bag. She was just hoping the cops weren't after him, or, with another sidelong glance, a father with a shotgun. The girls would go for this one, with his thick dark hair, chocolate eyes, and bad-boy attitude. A sigh – another broken-winged bird to look after. Fine by her, but Jimmy was going to have to work a little to get this kid in the house – only way she'd find out anything about Jess, or about his relationship with Jimmy.

Later that night…..Sasha pulled everything out of Jimmy in her usual ten minutes. He had no idea why he tried to hide anything from her; she always saw straight through him. Did she have to bust his balls so bad about his parenting though? He had no idea how to be a dad, Lily was Sasha's kid, though he was learning some stuff from having her around. But then he realized Jess wasn't in the bookstore closest to their house…or the next…or the next. He was getting a little worried– and damn, Sasha was right again. He was a crappy dad. He was really relieved when he saw a dark head in the fourth bookstore, flipping through the Beat bookshelf. He pulled Jess out into the street and tried to get some answers out of him. God, the kid reminded him of himself, same great front, the same habit of dodging questions with a shrug. At least cops or an upset father weren't going to show up chasing Jess. That was something right? Now to sell Sasha all the way on Jess staying. Jess and Jimmy strolled slowly back to the house. When they got there, Sasha looked up with a grin as she and Lily made up the air mattress in the spare room. "So, you guys got everything figured out? Jess, I don't care how good your puppy-dog eyes are, you are getting registered for GED classes to start with. We'll talk more tomorrow." The guys looked at each other. And gave up. Jess' last thought as he drifted off to sleep to the sound of the waves on yet another air mattress was of what would happen if Lorelei, Rory, and Sasha ever met up. Scary…maybe. But good in a way too. He'd be toast.

The next morning, Sasha got Jess out of bed at the same time Jimmy got up. After Lily and Jimmy left, she got Jess to help her with dog duty. As they walked the dogs along the beach, she could see the beach getting to Jess. "You know how to surf at all?" he suddenly asked, shading his eyes and watching the morning surfers. "Yeah, a little, but I know some good surfers. You want to learn? "she asked. "Maybe." He shrugged. "You've got a good build for skateboarding too. Ever done that?" "Nope", but he looked like the idea was a little intriguing."I saw that movie about the guys skateboarding in the swimming pools. Parties looked good." Sasha took a deep breath and dove into the next thing on her mind. "Jess, what was it like in New York with your mom?" The quick sidelong look and gaze suddenly fixed on the waves told her everything. "New York was what it was. Liz left me alone most of the time…"his voice trailed off, reliving memories. He shook the memories off. "Why you want to know?" he asked defensively. Poor lost boy. Her heart ached a little for him. She'd known Jimmy for over five years, and could guess the kind of woman Liz was from the Jimmy she'd first met. Drunk and/or stoned half the time, in and out of half the beds on the boardwalk. "You know", she began carefully,"Jimmy never mentioned you. Or your mom. But when I first met him, it was like he was trying to escape from something. There was something he didn't want to look at. " Another shrug. "Seemed like he tried escaping a lot into a bottle or a dime bag." She went on. A snort next to her told her the teen was still listening. "Yeah, sounds familiar", he conceded. "I didn't want to get back into that kind of situation.", Sasha went on. "I grew up with drunks. My mom and dad both. Drunk, stoned, fighting, never sure when I got home if there was going to be anything to eat, or even if the electricity would be on." She could feel Jess' interest growing beside her. "Half the time they didn't even notice if I was there. Came in real handy when I got a little older. I could grab their cigarettes or beer and they'd just blame each other." A chuckle of recognition came from Jess. They arrived at the house. She and Jess got the dogs off the leashes. She grabbed Jess' arm and pulled him down onto the porch next to her. Looking into his eyes, Sasha said "That was no way to live. I am damn lucky I didn't wind up in more trouble than what I got into with Lily's father." A deep breath. "Jess, I want you to stay here. But you've got to do two things." An eye roll. "I've heard something like that before", he said with a twist of his mouth. "Go to school, graduate…I am so done with school." "Yep, I get that", Sasha grinned, "so, you'll do the GED classes, ace the test, and be done. That's one condition." "And the other?" Jess asked warily. Sasha leaned back on her elbows. "You ever heard of Alcoholics Anonymous?" she asked idly, but very aware of Jess' reaction next to her. He didn't disappoint her, jumping to his feet, "I'm not addicted to anything!" he said emphatically. "Me neither, kid. But what I do want you to do is check out this group called Alateen. It's not for drunks or addicts. It's for their families. Saved my ass when Lily's father left, no good drunk that he was. You've had a shit life, with deadbeat parents who don't give a rat's ass? So has everyone in this meeting. But they're trying to work through it, to win out over what their parents problems did to screw up their lives. And it's cheaper than therapy…free" A long pause . A couple of times, Jess started to say something. Sasha waited patiently. Then, finally, "They let you smoke there?" "They live on smokes and coffee", she reassured him.

Later still that night, Jess was hanging out on the porch again, watching some skateboarders down the street. Jimmy came out onto the porch,"So….Sasha said you guys talked…?" "Yeah, some." "Yep." Jimmy leaned against the porch, eyes on the skateboarders too, not sure what to say exactly, how much to dig. Finally, after a long while, Jimmy reached into his pocket, pulled out the one thing he was never without, and flipped it over to Jess. "What's this?" Jess asked, turning the poker chip with a large 5 on it. " Jeez, how to start? Just tell him, is what Sasha had said. OK. "See, in AA – Alcoholics Anonymous, they give you chips for how long you've been going to meetings...and I got that chip a couple of weeks ago, because I've been in AA for five years." Jess looked up at his dad in surprise. Jimmy went on, "Right after Sasha and me got together, she said that the only way she'd stay with me is if I'd start going to AA. Otherwise, she was out of there." The half-smirk on Jess' face was encouraging, so Jimmy went on, "I knew after the first month with Sasha and Lily that I had a really good thing going if I wanted it...and I decided I wanted to keep it. AA was the only way to keep it all" Jess' head jerked up, a look of resigned recognition on his face, then he stretched, "Yeah, she told me about the same thing today." "OK…and?" Jess shrugged, "Got no choice. She said you can smoke in the meetings." Long pause. Jess was still watching the skateboarders. "You know, Jess, I got a old board somewhere around here. I can show you some things tomorrow morning, I mean, if you want me to." "Jess looked up, "Sasha's dragging me to GED registration tomorrow morning." "Oh, ok then –" "Maybe tomorrow when we get back? "

Author's note part II – if you have some kind of addiction in your family or relationships, Al-Anon and Alateen are the support groups for the family members of people in Alcoholics Anonymous. If you've got these kinds of issues in your life, I strongly, strongly urge you to check these groups out at . And now, I need some advice. I am trying to decide whether to keep this as a one-shot or show how Jess works his way through the steps of the program - see below. What do you think? Reading is wonderful, honest reviewing is really appreciated

/for-alateen/how-will-alateen-help-me

Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.