The Daria Hero
Daria and related characters and situations are the property of Viacom / MTV Networks. This work is strictly for the entertainment of Daria fans and not for any monetary or material gain whatsoever.
"You take that back, Quinn."
"Ow, ow. Get off me, Daria." Quinn cried. "Mr. T is garish. I'm just using the word because it's on my vocab list, 'Because of his excruciatingly excessive use of gold chains and his sleeveless vest, Mr. T fashion sense is garish.' I won't take it back 'cause it's true. Look at him. And I used two words from the list in one sentence."
"Garish! You wouldn't even know the word if I hadn't helped you with your language arts vocabulary." Daria bounced up and down as she straddled Quinn and she held Quinn's arms down as she struggled.
"Mr. T needs a fashion consultant. There! I said it and I won't take it back."
"Mr. T is expressing himself through his choices. Just like you and I do." Quinn gasped as Daria said this. "There. I said it and I won't take it back. The difference is he wants people to judge others for what they do and not how they dress, just like me and not like you fashionistas. Mr. T and I create our own style; we don't follow the vagaries of fashion. That's another of your vocabulary words, you know."
Daria glanced up at her Mr. T cartoon wall clock hanging in a place of honor above her computer. She released Quinn and handed her the textbook which had provided the word causing the disagreement.
Quinn sat up and brushed herself mumbling quietly, "I don't think Mr. T would approve of abusing your little sister."
Quinn's mouth gaped in shock as Daria gave some thought to this and then said, "You're right, Quinn. I'm sorry." She held out a hand and helped Quinn off the floor. "I need to get to Jane's for bad movie night, but it's not bad tonight. We're watching the A Team, season two. That's Mr. T's breakout role you know. And it shows his philosophy well, you might even learn a thing or two, Quinn."
"Um, I think I'll just study my vocabulary words tonight."
Daria put a bit of hustle into her walk to 111 Howard Drive. Although she was very much looking forward to that night's entertainment she also steeled herself for Jane's likely reactions. Jane enjoyed the A Team purely for the campy production values and over the top characters and plotting which she guffawed and chortled at. Daria, before she had finished the first season, knew, somewhat to her embarrassment, that she had found a kindred, complementary spirit in Bosco Albert Baracus and the actor who was so obviously very much playing himself in the role.
Daria was not superstitious but she regarded it as a stroke of destiny when her father had dragged her to a flea market and she had found the Mr. T wall clock in perfect condition. While father Jake bargained with the vendor for a few second-hand squirrel traps, she had, without haggling, parted with a small portion of her Montana cabin funds to purchase the precious ornament.
Jane was ready for viewing and greeted her with the requisite pizza, popcorn and sodas. A couple episodes later Jane turned to Daria during a viewing break.
"Hey amiga," Jane began a bit shyly. "Odd question, but if you had to sum up a couple points of Mr. T's philosophy of life, his guiding principles if you will, what would you say?"
Daria wondered where Jane was going. Was she obliquely setting up some particularly good Jane Lane put down? But Jane looked sincere if a bit bashful about her question.
She started out cautiously, "Well, don't drink or do drugs for starters."
Jane loosened visibly, "Yeah, that's a big one. And I'd say, don't pick fights but don't take guff from anyone either."
Despite her paranoia Daria warmed to the subject and became as enthusiastic as her habitual deadpan delivery allowed. "Sure. Stand up for your beliefs. And work hard and do well in school."
Jane smirked then, causing Daria to feel the sword or dreaded other shoe was about to fall. "Yeah, that last one's the hardest for me, happy and proud that I am with my C average."
"Respecting your family catches me up," Daria admitted.
"At least your folks are around to take good care of you while they screw you up," Jane said firmly and a little sadly. "You know, Morgendorffer, there's no good metaphor for you and Mr. T."
Daria felt her face flush. "What?"
"I could say that you and Mr. T are mirror opposites or that you're different sides of the same coin," Jane explained. "But those old chestnuts don't get at what I'm trying to say. Mr. T's the bright, loud, sunny side of it and you're the depressed, cynical, dark version of the same basic values. Okay, maybe you don't work so hard, but, drat you; you're smart enough to do well in school anyway."
To Daria's shocked, embarrassed expression she continued, "Oh come on, Daria, I've seen you go from merciless mocking to wide-mouthed fawning in the compressed viewing time of a couple-three episodes. It's okay, you're a teenaged girl; you can allow yourself to go a little star-struck. It's not like you're all head over heels, goo-goo eyes over William Shatner or David Hasselhoff."
Jane smiled devilishly, pleased that she had struck a nerve in her normally reserved friend. She bit into a chip loudly as they turned back to the TV for another episode.