Title: Home sweet home
Rating: G, tragedy
Pairing / Characters: Yondaime Hokage
Word Count: 820 words
Warnings: Spoilers if you don't know what happened to the Fourth
Summary: The Fourth's thoughts in the last moments of his life
A/N: I heard this song and when I listened to the lyrics, it just reminded me of the Fourth.. a brave, strong man who loves passionately and deeply, enough so that he sacrifices his own life… and yeah, I've a nagging suspicion that Naruto is the Fourth's son. I don't think I'm the only one…
The song obviously, is from the Naruto movie. I believe it's the second one…
'Inu…tori…saru…hitsuji… kuchiyose no jutsu!'
My name is Arashi, although most call me 'Yondaime' or 'Konoha's yellow flash.' Since I was inaugurated, I've had very little time for myself, my family, or my students. Between running a hidden village, preventing wars or getting involved in them, I've been quite busy.
I'm not complaining; instead of my small family, I now have an entire village of people I love. And I do love them – every child, every shinobi, every adult who has in some way, contributed to Konoha.
They're all precious gems with the will of the Leaf embedded deeply in their unconscious. It tears me apart to leave them behind, particularly my gentle student who suffers with every kill he makes.
I have yet to teach Kakashi that love is not painful, but he won't learn that lesson from me.
aruki tsukarete furidasu ame
tsukami soko neta usagi o otte
anata no me wa suki tooru
kurai umi no soko de iki o shite iru mizu
watashi o yonde, yonde koko ni iru no yo
doko e ikeba, ikeba mitasareru no?
I'm grateful that Gamabunta knows exactly where he's going, because I can see very little through my tears. Yes, it seems odd that I should be crying on the way to a battle, but I am. I live for my people, for my lovely wife whom I fall in love with every single time I see her face, and through the battles I've fought, she's the one who sustains me through everything. She nourishes my spirit and gives me the strength to defend my people.
That's why I grieve, for what I'm about to do breaks my heart.
uchi e kaero asu ni nareba
daijoubu tte waratte iru kana
namae o yonde, yonde dakishimeru yo
omoidashite me o tojite osanai koro
My whole body aches, but nothing, nothing can compare to the pain I feel whenever her eyes flash into my mind. She waits for me, waits to say goodbye, waits for me to perform the seal that will destroy us both. I will die from the pact I've made with the death god, and she… she will most likely die of heartbreak.
When I heard the name 'kyuubi' I knew exactly what it was I needed to do, and she agreed with me completely.
I'm not afraid of dying, because I know what I'm leaving behind: a precious, precious legacy – my son.
tarinai tokoro o anata ga umete kureta
kanashii kimochi datte sa sugu wasurerareta kara
kowakunai yo
uso o tsuite koukai shite
watashi wa itsuka otona ni natta
haji o kaite ase o kaite
soredemo odori tsudzukeru riyuu
tamashii kogashite, kogashite sakenderu yo
hiraite ikeba, ikeba sukuwareru no
My time is running out, and I can barely move.
There is still so much I want to do – to watch my boy grow up, to be able to teach him, to hear him call my name and to be able to say I'm here, to watch him learn the ways of our village, but I'll never have that chance. I may be the Fourth but I'm also just a man, a father, a husband. I'm not sure what will kill me first – sealing a demon into the navel of my son, or the pact with the shinigami. Perhaps both, because without one there would not be the other.
My little boy will never know how much it hurt his father to destroy his existence.
uchi e kaero shiroi usagi
tsuki no ura de aimashou
kaerou asu ni nareba
hadashi de waratte iru kara
watashi wa yonde, yonde dakishimeru yo
omoidashite me o tojite osanai koro
I can see their faces in my mind.
My son…
My wife…
My students – Kakashi…Rin…Obito…
The First and the Second…
My village, my people…
Very few people knew me, and I will fade from their memories entirely until all that's left is a distant dream of a man who sacrificed himself for the village. Still I know that I'm the lucky one, that death is something I deserve. My son will grow up feared, hated, pushed aside, while I'll be remembered as a hero.
He has my eyes, everyone has told me so. Those eyes will see and hopefully understand why I did what I needed to…
aruki tsukarete furidasu ame
tsukami soko neta usagi o otte
anata no me wa suki tooru
kurai umi no soko de iki o shite iru mizu
namae o yonde, yonde koko ni iru no yo
kokoro ni ieba, ieba mitasareru no
I hope that one day my boy will learn the truth: that I loved him more than my own life; and that the power I've given him will one day protect him. I hope he will forgive his father, and become strong, strong enough to carry the will of our village.
He is the son of a Hokage after all, small consolation though this may be.