Cuddy signed off the document that her assistant had handed her. Smiling at the girl, she returned the paper. As the girl walked away, her most underworked employee walked over. House stood next to Cuddy at the counter in the clinic, watching her new assistant's retreating form. "You need to get rid of her," he said, nonchalantly.
Samantha had only started working for Cuddy that morning. She had been a last minute replacement for the ever-opening position. Cuddy didn't think she was a particularly hard person to work for. She liked to do most of her own work and honestly didn't pass too much of it on to her assistant's. None of them seemed to want to deal with House's antics for very long, though. She hoped this one would be different.
Cuddy was still staring at House in shock, when Wilson walked up. "Did I miss something?" he asked, noticing the incredulous look on their boss's face. He was used to seeing her angry with House, but very rarely did she ever look shocked. Up until then, he had thought she was immune to House's shock factor.
"One of us did," Cuddy said, confused. She looked to House, who was still watching the girl's form, waiting for an answer. She was used to his games, but they always held a purpose. She couldn't think of any reason why he would already have it in for Samantha. Looking at him expectantly, she waited for some sort of clue.
He shrugged. "She's going be trouble. Although," he added sadly, "What an ass." He sighed dramatically. "Lisa's looked like that in college, you know? Before it grew," he mock whispered, to Wilson. Nudging his friend, he smiled challengingly at Cuddy.
Wilson had managed to deduce that they were talking about Cuddy's new assistant. The hospital gossip chains were already swarming with the news. Still flustered over House's comment, he just watched the exchange. Silently he wished he had stayed away. House's sexual comments about Cuddy always left him feeling rather uncomfortable, partially, because he had the same thoughts himself.
Cuddy rolled her eyes, frustrated. "Do me a favor House," she said, grabbing his arm to make him look at her, "At least let her get settled in before she makes the complaints to HR." She hoped that her plan would work. House would have to either offer her more information or give up. He got rather bored with his games if no one played along.
"Aw don't be mad Cuddles, I'll still check out your ass," House hollered, as she walked away. He smirked, when she turned around with a challenging look on her face. They both knew nothing would stop him from checking her ass out.
"So," Wilson spoke, finally finding his tongue, "What do you have against the new girl?" He knew House was picky about people in general, but he seemed to be even fussier about the people near Cuddy. Wilson suspected it was a mixture of both jealousy and a way to annoy her.
House watched Cuddy clack her way out of sight, before speaking, "Nothing really, just the last time I spoke to her she was still a lesbian with a huge thing for mommies." He waited for Wilson's reaction, humored by his friend's typical fluster.
Wilson's jaw dropped, as he spluttered, "And how do you know this?" He wasn't quite sure if he should believe House. However, House seemed completely serious. The only time's he didn't let Wilson in on his plans, was when Wilson was involved. He seemed in the clear with this situation.
Trying to look both innocent and offended, House replied, "Lesbians find me endearing." He grabbed a lollipop from the jar on the counter and opened it, popping it into his mouth. When Wilson just continued to wait for an answer, he continued, "I know her family. We've stayed close over the years."
"Wait," Wilson said, trying to grasp the situation, "That is that Sam? Sam, who used to check out girls with you? Sam, who turns straight woman gay?" Wilson was, as predicted, flustered and waving his hands around. It was getting to the point where House was beginning to get, somewhat, embarrassed for him.
Speaking around the candy, House asked, "How long you think before she cracks Cuddy?" Both his face and tone were serious. He knew the situation would be even more complex than it appeared. Nevertheless, he had no doubt that the two women would be sharing some very intimate moments.
Wilson's eyes bulged. "What? No way. Cuddy doesn't sleep with people who work for her. After all these years, you think it's going to be a woman? A woman practically half her age, at that?" He knew that House was usually right about Cuddy, but these seemed to extreme. There were too many reasons why it just wouldn't happen.
"23 days," House said wiggling his eyes, mischievously. It wouldn't take long for the two to bond or for Sam to become completely enamored with the older doctor. House had always been good about predicting other's behaviors, just like Wilson's. He knew Wilson would take the bet. No matter how many times he was proved wrong, Wilson still thought he was better at judging people.
"Less than a month? Un-uh, you're on. Fifty bucks?" He knew he had House on this one. There was just no way that Cuddy would fall for the girl. Short of ending up drugged and taken advantage of, it just wasn't possible.
House looked shocked and appalled. "You're about to witness one two of the sexist women in this building getting it on and you start at fifty?" He couldn't help but smack the back of Wilson's head. "Two grand," he said firmly.
Wilson hesitated, but offered his hand. "You're on." He really hadn't thought about what the two women would look like together until House brought it up. Now, the image of Cuddy writhing on a bed with another woman was all he could think about.
House ignored Wilson's outstretched hand. Smirking at the dazed look on his friend's face, he walked off. He had an old friend to bother and a seed of desire to plant.