Hi guys! So here I am, posting new stories while I leave my old one seemingly abandoned, LOL (it is not, calm down). As always, I apologize for any mistakes and I hope you like it. Feel free to leave me a review if you want - and you can PM me with story-prompts if you want too.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
The Chair
Barry sighed as he leaned the head on the pillow for the tenth time in a matter of minutes. His head hurt, and so did his chest, although he didn't have to care anymore about the nasal cannula nor the IV attached to his hand. His body wasn't attached to any machine anymore, nor did he wear the neck brace anymore, and still he felt confined to that bed. It had been two days since he got his back broken; although he had regained some feeling in his legs, it wasn't still enough to keep him on his feet - all he could feel was just the pain of his still-not-healed body and the stiffness of his muscles. However, Caitlin had noticed the improvement and had gone to look for Cisco, leaving Barry completely alone in his recovery room. And, despite the books and the tablet full of entertaining games his friends had left them on the bedside table, bored.
To distract himself, as he wasn't feeling up to reading or turning on the tablet thanks to the headache, he started making noises with his mouth, then he started playing one of his favorite songs with those sounds, but he got bored quickly. And that was something really dangerous, because when he got bored, his mind always played him, making him revive in his head the events of that night when he had been almost killed by the speedster dressed in black. He didn't notice he had gotten his back up from the bed, all he noticed was that breathing was becoming harder with each passing second, and the angst he was feeling at that moment mimicked the one he was remembering, the one he had felt when Zoom was holding him in the air with one hand in front of his friend's a S.T.A.R. Labs while he was stabbing him with the other. He lowered his head and closed his eyes.
"Barry?" although the young man had his eyes closed, he heard a noise on the background, almost imperceptible behind Cisco's voice. He noticed a hand grabbing his shoulder firmly. "Relax, man. Just breathe" Barry tried to do as Cisco said, but every time he tried all he remember was Zoom's demonic presence. "Don't make me call Caitlin, you know she's way worse than me". Oh, yeah, Barry knew. He let out a nervous giggle, releasing some of the tension with the air that escaped his mouth. Surprisingly, he felt better enough to open his eyes; his met Cisco's worried but satisfied ones. "That's it, you got it!" While Barry was still breathing heavily, he noticed Cisco turned to some object on his back the bedridden speedster wasn't able to see. "I've brought you something to cheer you up"
"What is that?" asked Barry a little curious, almost recovered from before. He tried to move and turn his body to look at the mysterious object behind Cisco more directly, but he stopped when fire erupted in his back. He even let out a grunt of pain, making his friend turn.
"If you do that once again, I swear to each one of the Jedi Masters I'm calling Caitlin" despite his typical geekiness, Barry knew his friend wasn't kidding.
"Sorry. I just want to see what that is"
"Well, my friend, it's your lucky day" Cisco didn't look angry anymore; instead, he was smiling more than a kid waking up on Christmas morning. He moved to his left, letting Barry see for himself what was the mysterious object he had brought to him. "Ta-da!" he said, pointing at it.
"Cisco, what is that doing here?"
Barry hadn't known what he had been expecting to see; knowing his friends, and especially Cisco since he had been the one to take it there, it could have even been a replica of Yoda or of one of those adorable furry ewoks from Endor. He definitely wasn't expecting to see Harrison Wells' wheelchair.
"This, my friend, is your one-way ticket to freedom"
"What?" Barry was in shock. He didn't know what to think, and it didn't help the fact that Cisco seemed completely amused by it.
"I found this on storage. And since Caitlin told me you were regaining some sense in your legs…"
"Oh, yeah. Pain and more pain" Barry interrupted, rolling his eyes.
"… we thought you could use that. Think about that." Cisco said, as if he hadn't been interrupted.
It only took Barry one second to do it.
"No"
"No?" Cisco repeated, looking confused. "Didn't you just hear me?"
"I said no" as if to reinforce his opinion, he leaned back on his bed stubbornly.
"Barry…" Cisco sighed, rubbing his forefront with one hand. "I thought you wanted to get out of that bed"
"I'm not using that chair, Cisco" he turned his face to the wall, ignoring Cisco and ending up any attempt of conversation with one single gesture. Seconds later, he heard a sigh and the steps of his friend leaving the room.
Barry turned his head and looked around the room, completely empty. It was full of machines, full of folders and papers, full of screens, full of light, and now had a wheelchair to complete it. But it lacked life, just as his legs lacked of any function apart from making him feel miserable, being a reminder of what he had lost in just minutes. He was feeling just like another object, unable to get himself out of that bed, confined there for more and more days until he healed completely or until a miracle happened.
He looked at the chair, completely lost in himself, and remember one of his favorite's sci-fi sagas of all times. In Star Trek, every starship had its own chair; the man or woman sitting on it was the captain, a man of honor and a natural leader, one able to take risks, live dangerous adventures and still succeed, whereas at the same time making sure nothing bad happened to any single member of his enormous crew. But the chair he was seeing wasn't anything like that; that chair had belonged to a man that had made his life the mess it was, that man had destroyed his family and then it had given him the powers that had made him what he was - or, what he had been until just two days ago - before betraying him once again, turning the man's idolized figure into his childhood nightmare. And now Cisco and Caitlin wanted him to use that chair to get out of his bed.
Of course he wasn't going to use it, despite he was eager to get out of there!
Barry looked at the chair once again, full of doubts, and sighed. On the other hand, he knew it was just a chair, a lifeless object, no matter who had been its previous owner. The chair wasn't going to harm him, and he knew that.
Slowly, he shifted towards the edge of his bed and extended an arm, trying to reach the arm of Harrison Well's wheelchair.
He couldn't.
Sighing frustratingly, he extended the other arm, and when he didn't manage anything, he ignored the erupting pain on his back and legs and extended his whole body towards it.
He almost smiled when his hand touched the surface of the chair.
However, he wasn't expecting to lose balance and fall flat to the floor in a weird position that made every inch of his body hurt. He groaned when his stitched abdomen, still not completely healed, hit the floor; his broken back didn't allow him to turn, but at least he managed to move an arm and rub carefully the patched wound with a hand - at least it didn't seem the wound had reopened, although it hurt a lot.
He raised his head as much as he could and frowned when he saw Well's chair (Harrison, not Harry's, he reminded himself) next to him. The chair was just a lifeless chair, but everything it represented had always brought him pain, and it had just been proven. But that wasn't even at the top list of how bad he felt.
Zoom had shown Central City how The Flash could be easily destroyed. Not only had he lost his legs, he had also lost Central City's confidence in him - and even his own confidence in himself. How on Earth, on whichever Earth, could he be confident when he couldn't even get out of a single bed without falling to the floor? How was he supposed everyone in need of saving when he couldn't even walk? How was he supposed to be everyone's hero when he was just a cripple?
"Barry?"
"Bear?"
He lowered his head when he heard Cisco calling his name, and then Joe. That was just perfect. It wasn't enough they had had to see him destroyed, now they were going to see him completely miserable. Or, he thought, he could just stay there (not that he was able to do anything else) and pretend he wasn't lying on the floor but in bed (where he should be, a voice of reason he completely ignored reprimanded him in his head) - it could have been the perfect plan had the walls of the room not been completely transparent.
"Barry?!" Barry tried to hide his face from them when he heard the heavy and hurried steps of the two men towards him.
"Are you okay?" he almost felt bad when he heard the concerned voice of his foster father.
"Barry?!" another voice joined, this one from a woman.
"Yeah, guys, I'm fine" he saw Caitlin kneeling next to him, accompanied by Joe two seconds later. He grunted when they moved him while Caitlin was assessing his condition, making sure he hadn't mess with his injuries or created new ones.
"What happened?" he saw Cisco staying behind Caitlin; he was looking at him worried, almost scared.
"I… fell"
Caitlin stopped what she was doing and looked at Barry straight in the face.
"How?"
"I was trying to reach Well's wheelchair" he mumbled, noticing everyone's eyes on him without looking at them at all. "And then I fell" he noticed Joe's grip on his arm, but he didn't react; he was too busy feeling ashamed of being vulnerable.
"Barry… " Caitlin started, but stopped mid-sentence. Barry didn't see it, but he was sure she stopped after Joe or Cisco told her silently. "Your injuries look normal, and there are no new ones despite the impact with the floor" she said instead with her best Dr Snow-voice.
"Great" he replied ironically, rolling his eyes.
"Let's get you to bed, okay?" asked Cisco with puppy-dog eyes.
They started moving around Barry, making him feel trapped, caged. By the time Joe and Cisco had grabbed his arms and Caitlin was around making sure everything was okay, Barry had already started to breath heavily again. He noticed Joe and Cisco's looks, and he noticed how they stopped moving him after getting him sat on the floor. He heard their voices, Caitlin's too, but he didn't pay attention to what they were saying.
How could he get on his Flash suit again if he needed help even for getting up from the floor?
"Bear, look at me" he heard Joe's voice, reaching for him. When he didn't react, he noticed Joe's hands on his shoulders. "Come on, look at me" he looked at Joe with effort, the ashamed look never leaving his eyes, after the detective shook him delicately.
The look in Joe's eyes almost made him crumble, piece by piece. That man wasn't his father by blood, and yet he had been by him every moment of his life since he was eleven. He had stood by him each of the times Tony Woodward had hit him. He had stood by him when he broke his arm during one of Iris's birthday parties. He had stood by him when he had been struggling to get inside the football team. Even with the whole Becky Cooper-fiasco, or when he had had to shave for the first time, or even for his very first job interview with the CCPD Captain. After the particle accelerator had exploded, he had stood by him after knowing Barry had become The Flash, even when Reverse Flash had appeared. Joe had stood by him after his father had been released from prison, even when Henry disappeared from his life on that very same day he had gotten his freedom back, and even when the detective himself was dealing with his very own familiar issues with Francine.
That look he saw in the black man's eyes was one of pure love and concern, one of a father that never gave up on his son - it was making it more difficult for Barry.
"That's it, Joe. I'm useless" he tried to lower his eyes to hide his wet eyes from him, but Joe didn't let him.
"That's not true, Barry." Barry made a noise with his mouth that sounded almost like a laugh but was full of angst and sadness. "You just need time to heal, that's all"
"Zoom broke my back. Normal people can't recover from that".
"No. Normal people can't" the detective repeated, making Barry look at him in the eyes. "We both know normal doesn't exist in this city since that particle accelerator exploded. Throwing flames, vibing, a psychic gorilla that can read minds,… if you had asked me two years ago, I would have told you about the name of the movie. Now it is something as normal as seeing a man dressed in red running really fast"
"Not anymore"
"I don't think so. And I think you don't think so too" Barry lowered his head. "Caitlin just said that you are regaining some feeling in your legs."
"Just pain"
"Yesterday, you woke up not able to feel them at all" Joe remained in silence before continuing; for a moment, Barry thought he was going to shut his mouth but he wasn't so lucky. "Feeling pain is better than feeling nothing. Pain shows us we're alive, son. You just need more time"
Yeah, he needed time. Time to heal, time to have a functional body again. Time to get back on his feet, before facing Zoom again. That thought made him uncomfortable as he tried to block the spiral of thoughts threatening to attack him once again. Barry closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head.
"What's wrong?"
"What happens with Zoom?" the defeated speedster said, opening his eyes and looking at Joe with shame but scared too.
"Cisco hit him with his dart. We haven't got any news on him since that night"
"But what if he appears? Who is going to stop him?" because he, although he didn't say it, wasn't. And he knew Joe knew it, according to how the detective was looking at him.
"Right now, Zoom is the last thing any of us worries about" Barry sighed, understanding perfectly what the older man was meaning. When Joe looked at Well's chair, Barry did it too. "What happened, Barry?"
"That chair belonged to the man that put a knife through my mom's heart. He destroyed my family, Joe" he paused to take some air. "I always idealized Harrison Wells, he was a spectacular scientist, a visionary… I never expected him to be the man who turned my family apart"
"That man is gone, son. The chair is just a chair".
"I know" and he did. But for some reason, the thought of imagining himself sitting on that wheelchair still made him uncomfortable.
"You can't let him control your life anymore"
Although none of them mentioned it, they shared a look, remembering Joe's words two days ago. Joe had told him the same thing when Barry had confessed him why he was so eager on going after Zoom, and that had made Barry realize how much he wanted Patty in his life. At least, Barry didn't have to worry about her, as Joe was covering him in front of everyone in the CCPD, including his partner.
"I know"
"So… are you ready to get back to bed?" asked Joe after a brief moment of silence.
"No" replied Barry. He kept talking when he saw Joe opening his mouth. "I think I'm trying something different"
When he looked at the wheelchair, he noticed Joe doing the same; the tired expression of the detective changed into a more hopeful one.
"You sure? You look like you've had enough for now" Barry nodded. "Okay, but just a few minutes. I don't want Caitlin to get mad at me"
Barry curved his lips upwards showing him a faint smile; both Cisco and Joe had confessed in a matter of minutes they were scared of angry-Caitlin - and Barry did too. She had only seen her like that a couple of times, but that had made him put Caitlin in front of Iris on the mental list called "people I'm scared about when they get really angry"
It took them some time to get Barry on the chair; it didn't help the fact that the younger man was in pain and tired, although he did try to hide it and silenced as much grunts and groans as he could. Once he was sitting there, he looked around, getting familiar with the chair and checking no Reverse Flash was coming out from under the seat. Finally, he let out a sigh of relief as everything turned out to be perfectly normal.
"You good?"
"Yeah" replied Barry, almost believing his words. "Come on, let's go for a walk". Or drive, in his case; that was something he wasn't going to get used to any time soon. However, as soon as Barry got out from his recovery room for the first time in days, he felt better - his body still hurt, but he didn't feel as trapped as before. Although he didn't completely believe in everyone's words that his back was on the mend and he would be The Flash again, the fact that he was moving was a little reassuring.
Cisco and Caitlin must have noticed the change too, Barry thought later, as they raised their heads when they heard him in the cortex. Despite Caitlin's recommendations that he should get to bed soon, neither she nor Cisco (nor Joe, that was walking behind him, guarding his back) couldn't hide the smile full of light and hope once they saw him on the wheelchair.
As Barry was heading out of the cortex, he stopped the chair and made it turn to Caitlin and Cisco. Joe stopped next to him and looked at his son with confusion.
"Bear?"
"Listen guys… could you look for Professor Stein's cane too?"
The duo smiled at him and nodded happily as Barry turned and exited the room, followed silently by Joe. Despite he had been broken by Zoom in more ways than one, he was glad to have people that cared for him enough to show him how to move forward when he couldn't find the strength to do it.