Title: Keeping Time
Author: Rina (Searider Falcon)
Summary: "Pa rum pum pum puh-lease shut up already. The song could be over in half the time if they cut out that nonsensical bit." A conversation about C.C.'s least favorite Christmas song.
Pairing: C.C./Niles
Disclaimer: The Nanny and its characters are the property of Sony Pictures, High School Sweethearts, and Sternin & Fraser's Ink, Inc.
A/N: Written for EspoirDio's 2015 C.C./Niles Advent Calendar. Many thanks to nnaylime for her title suggestion when I drew a complete blank.
"I always hated this song."
"Well, too bad. I'm not moving from this spot. You'll just have to suffer through it."
C.C. pouted up at her husband. All sprawled out on the sofa with her head resting upon his thigh, she intended to stay put herself as well. She was too comfortable and too pregnant to bother with moving right now. A disagreeable song on the radio wasn't going to interfere with their quiet moment of admiring the glimmering tree they just finished trimming, but she still hoped to sucker him into getting rid of it.
"Sadist."
Niles tried his damnedest to suppress his chuckle. "No, just unrepentantly lazy. Dare I ask why you dislike it so much?"
"It's too repetitive, for one thing, and it lasts forever. Pa rum pum pum puh-lease shut up already. The song could be over in half the time if they cut out that nonsensical bit."
"That 'nonsensical bit' is supposed to mimic the sound of a drum, Edith Ann."
"Be that as it may, they could just use a real one instead of doing a piss-poor job trying imitating it. And that's another thing. What self-respecting mother wants someone strange guy banging on a drum for her newborn anyway?"
Niles laughed outright at that. "Okay, you have a point there."
"Personally, I'd take that kid's drumsticks and shove 'em through his eardrums if someone tried to give our baby that as a gift. I'm tired enough as it is and our kid isn't even here yet without some wannabe Ringo keeping her awake with that sort of racket."
"Motherhood is mellowing you if that's all you'd do. But I have good news for you," he teased. "Miracle though I certainly think she is, we still conceived our daughter the much more fun but old-fashioned way and minus angelic interference. So when the time comes, I doubt we'll have to worry about any hopeful rock stars or local drum corps members stopping by and keeping all of us awake because they're in awe of your non-virgin birth."
She reached back and gave his leg a good-natured swat.
"You are such an ass. Really, though, we're probably only in the clear until Fran comes over with the twins and tries to occupy them with your pots and pans...oh, god," she groaned, her eyes growing wide with realization. "that'll probably much be worse."
"Oh, come now, she's a new mother herself. I think she'll appreciate our desire for peace and quiet as we adjust to a newborn."
"You're deluded if you don't think that at some point she isn't going to exact some sort of undeserved revenge on me for whatever perceived misdeeds she wrongly thinks I've performed against her in the past."
Niles met her eyes, blatant disbelief scrawled across his face. "You mean doing things like interfering with her relationship with Mr. Sheffield, taunting her for things like being traumatized after a running over a bunny, and commandeering her delivery room for an impromptu wedding?"
C.C. pressed a hand to her chest and batted her eyes in feigned innocence.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, before continuing under her breath, "and besides, you were an accomplice in that last one."
"Only because I wasn't about to argue with someone who looked greener than the Grinch and was actively and repeatedly recreating a certain scene from The Exorcist."
"Uh huh, and I'm sure a teeny, tiny little fear that I might back out of our engagement had nothing to do with you being so agreeable at all."
"None whatsoever," he said primly.
"Right. Anyway, she shouldn't even bother. It's not like I'm a threat now that I'm rounder than Santa Claus and married to someone older than Scrooge."
"Oooo, you sweet talker, you."
"Oh, quit pouting. You're certainly a better conversationalist than Maxwell, at least. And not totally hideous to look at...I guess."
Lifting the hand he had rested on the swell of her belly, she kissed it to temper her half-hearted jab. In response, he trailed his fingers along the line of her collarbone, making her hum as his fingers trailed closer and closer to the neckline of her dress.
"Couldn't this so-called musician have just brought Mary and Joseph some diapers or something more useful?"
"I know you're a little new at this, but I'm sure even you know that Pampers weren't exactly available in their day. And he says he's a poor boy too, so I doubt they would've been in his budget even if they were."
She scoffed. "They don't cost that much!"
"Spoken like a true heiress, utterly unaware of your wealth and how the rest of us poor broke slobs scratch by. They're quite costly and just wait 'til you see how quickly our little one will go through a package of them."
"Oh, listen to you whining about the expense of a baby when you married a filthy rich sugar mama and never have to worry about it ever again! Why do you keep defending this awful song anyway? Have I been insulting some beloved favorite of yours or something?"
"No, just playing devil's advocate as usual, my dear. I actually never cared much for it either, though it obviously doesn't bother me nearly as much as it does you," Niles conceded. "In fact, I always wanted to know what psychotropic drugs the boy must've been on to think the ox and lamb were helping him keep time."
C.C. grinned at him.
The song reached its conclusion, much to her relief, the young drummer receiving a smile from the infant Christ before the song faded away to a commercial break.
"Can newborns actually smile when they're first born? I don't remember any of Maxwell's kids being particularly expressive when they were babies."
"That's because you usually sought out the nearest exit anytime someone brought them into the same room as you! So how would you even know?"
"That's not true!"
"It is and you know it."
Annoyed, she struggled to sit up, only accepting his assistance because, well, it was quicker at this point in her pregnancy. "Not with the twins, I didn't!"
"But with the oldest kids you most certainly did. And be honest with me, if we hadn't finally gotten our act together and also managed to make a baby in the process, you're truly sure you'd want anything to do with Jonah and Eve?"
"Yes! Probably…I think. Anyway, you still haven't answered my question."
He glanced at her and she could tell he was debating how exasperated he really wanted to be about her abrupt change of topic. After a moment - and probably because he could tell she just might throttle him if he pressed any further with the subject - he put his arm around her and pulled her close. "They can smile but I think it's more of a reflex at first. Most of the time, it's, well...it's probably just gas."
She snorted and sat back, not quite settling against him as she still felt a little too wound up from their stupid little spat. "Thanks, Niles. I'll remember that the first time our daughter smiles at us. You've ruined what would've been a beautiful moment before she's even born."
"We'll see," he said with a laugh. "Somehow, I rather doubt that."
The commercials ended and Sinatra's crooning rendition of I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm filled the room. As she finally relaxed into his arms again, her eyes drifting shut as she breathed in the spicy scent of him, Niles' hands began to wander.
"I'm not anymore inclined to move from this sofa than you were earlier," she tried to complain, except she knew that the catch in her breath gave away her willingness.
"Location's never been a deterrent before either."
"But I've never been this heavily pregnant before. Seriously, Rico Suavitel. You're just trying to get your last holly jollies while you can before you have to abstain for at least six or so weeks."
"Damn right I am," he murmured against her neck, causing her to whimper. "And like you're looking any more forward to that than I am. We only have a couple more weeks tops."
Well, he did have her there. He tilted her chin up so their lips could meet and she acquiesced, her arms winding around his neck to bring him closer.
"Niles," she gasped against his mouth. "I swear if the next song is something like Frosty or I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, it's going to be the worst mood killer ever."
Without breaking away from their embrace, he reached out for the remote he'd left on the end table and turned off the stereo.
Panting, she pressed away from him as she realized he easily could have spared her from her least liked Christmas carol at any moment.
"Oh, mister, you are so going to be punished for that," She glared down at him, but her threat lost all meaning when she pressed him down on the sofa and moved to straddle him.
"I look forward to it," he moaned.
As he began to slide the skirt of her dress up, and she knew that she did too.