Opening up
Word count: 837
Characters: Draco Malfoy – Pansy Parkinson
Themes: Coming out – Transgender
"Draco. Draco open up."
"Go away Pansy."
"Ha ha, right, as if I'd ever leave you brooding and alone when I can see you're clearly upset. Come on."
*sounds of door opening*
"Oh my god you look awful."
"Gee… thanks, that's really helping."
"Come on, let's sit down and you can tell me everything."
"Pansy I'm not— I'm not in the mood to talk right now."
"Nonsense. What's a best friend for if not to talk about what upsets you?"
"Fine, fine I can never hide you anything anyway —stop it with the smug face or I'm not saying anything—. It's nothing really serious you know it's just… I don't know, I've been feeling weird lately. Like I'm not really who I am or something like that. It's difficult to explain. And the more I think about it the more it confuses me. You probably think I'm being ridiculous."
"So you feel like you're…someone else?"
"Sort of, but I'm still Draco. I'm still the same but I feel different."
"The war changed everyone you know. Maybe you've been affected more than others. You have all the reasons to."
"Maybe… Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and have to force yourself to think "this is me, the person here is me" because you feel like you're seeing someone totally different ?"
"Not really. So are you having depersonalization episodes or something like that ?"
"Yes! Yes, depersonalization, that's the word. Thanks Pans."
"See, I told you talking would help."
"Yes and I told you to stop it with the smug face."
"You're no fun. So, are you going to look into that at the infirmary or the library?"
"Maybe. I doubt I'll find anything to be honest… It's weird you know, feeling like that. And I think it's been going on for years but with the war I didn't really give it any thoughts until a few months ago, and especially those past few days. I feel like I'm not me anymore and this is confusing. I think— I think I wish I were different."
"So you don't want to be you anymore?"
"I—I don't know Pansy! It's like— like I want to leave a place that I know but feel uncomfortable in, to go somewhere unknown and—and—… This is fucking scary you know?"
"Shh calm down it's okay. Draco. Draco breathe, I'm here. Give me your hands."
"Tanks Pans…"
"It's okay. I'm no professional but it looks like you're having an identity crisis."
"Mmmh… I think there's more than just not feeling like myself. Sometimes I—wish I—… this is ridiculous you're going to laugh— "
"Why would I laugh at something that seems to give you so much trouble? Honestly Draco."
"sometimesIwishIwasn'taboy."
"Draco dear I didn't get a word of what you said."
"Sometimes I wish I wasn't a boy."
"Er…Ok. Would you prefer to be a girl then?"
"I don't know, maybe? Not all the time? It' strange, it really depends of the days."
"You can be both."
"I've never seen that happen, people are either boy or girl."
"Not necessarily. I've heard of some cultures where there are more than two genders."
"Really? I'll have to look into that"
"So…Does that mean you want to wear girl's clothes? Aw you're so cute when you're blushing."
"Shut up."
"I'll take that as a yes."
"I don't— Oh fine, whatever. Yes, some days I want to wear girl's clothes, happy? You know I've always liked beautiful and expensive things, I guess that comes with the Malfoy name. But I also like pretty things and I think it would make me happy to feel pretty.
Is that a smug smile that I'm seeing?"
"No that's a happy smile. Although I've always known you loved pretty things. Remember those cupcakes we used to have at the manor when we were kids? You would always chose the ones with the most decorations."
"I remember. So…Does that mean you're happy about what I just told you?"
"Yes. I've been worried about you since we went back to Hogwarts. I know the war's been rough on everyone but you've been through so much, I'm glad you're opening up to me. You're my best friend and I'd do anything to help you."
"Thanks Pansy, that means a lot. Er…Are you free this Saturday? It's Hogsmeade week-end."
"Sure, want to go shopping?"
"Stop trying to wink at me, we both know you can't do it properly."
"Bleh I do what I want, that's why you love me. So, about shopping?"
"Er…Yeah. Yeah I think I'd like to. It would be easier having you around. In case—In case I see something pretty…"
"Aaaw here's the blush again. You're very pretty Draco, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And I'd be happy to help you diversify your wardrobe. I may have some things that could interest you in my trunk if you need.
"You're the best."
"I know, now come on we're going to miss dinner."